MooPig's "CEO Golden Bungee Cord"

MooPig TV Reviews :: Undercover Boss on CBS
by Pat Darnell

What a CEO has that most everyone else doesn't have is the Golden Bungee Cord. He or She will bounce back no matter how far the fall. A dismissed CEO is a sure thing. He will show up in another operation as an officer. The CEO is the ultimate fall guy.

CEO's have this: a full year's income saved for when they fall -- and falling is imminent. They know from hind sight that they are entitled because they can "afford" to not work as if they are eminent domain -- the power of the CEO to take private property for his own use with payments going to other members of the boards who hire and fire CEO's.

Undercover Boss is a TV show that attempts to immerse the CEO into his own company at the bottom. It is a tale usually of a Boss being humbled, for a time, by his own workers. Don't worry, Labor is in the toilet, so it won't matter much the outcome. It turns out, the well-paid CEO undeservedly foregos the usual 18 holes to work side by side with personnel who are hindered and saddled with debt, situational dogma, and blighted in some way.

No matter; when CEO goes for the job that is responsible for most outsets of dementia, the reality is that he or she has a golden bungee cord. CEO's have term life, longterm disability insurance, short term catastrophic and bonuses. The CEO can support his way of life indefinitely, and doesn't worry about healthcare. Our Chief Executive Officers will bounce back, not to worry.

MooPigsters know not all CEO's are at the top of their game, but walk-a-day in-my-shoes takes on new meaning when slumming with the home-grown peeps down at the warehouse. Lee Iacocca comes to mind, the guy who was fired from Ford and became CEO at Chrysler.

For all of you who have to clean the public toilets because you are the new kid on the block:
CBS Undercover Boss LINK
"It's a Mess ..."

COMMUNIST !!!

Madoff's RoloDex: It's Still the Economy
Retrieved by Pat Darnell and the CEO's

MooPig's "Behavioral Economists on Staff" suggest this reminder: "Don't try this at home. Every CEO and boat owner knows this is an ideal time to trim the sails; cull the herd... you know, get rid of some of the whining around the place... no?"


[SOURCE]



DIY stimulus: CEO gives workers $1000 each from his own pocket
Bruce Watson | Apr 3rd 2009

Jack Windolf, the CEO of Bollinger Insurance, recently gave his 434 employees a surprise gift: out of his own pocket, he paid each of them $1000. The bonuses, which Windolf called "a mini economic stimulus package," came from $500,000 in deferred compensation that he received when he sold 51 percent of the company last year. Rather than spend the money on himself, he chose to share it with his workers.

CEOs have had a rough time of it lately. With outrage brewing about the scandalous bonuses that went out to executives at Lehman, AIG, Merrill Lynch and other huge companies, it's become increasingly lonely at the top. And for good reason.

After all, even a cursory analysis of the evolution of executive compensation over the past few decades is enough to bring out one's inner Karl Marx. By now, the statistics are pretty well-known, but let's review them one more time: in 1982, the average CEO made 42 times as much as the average worker; by 1990, they were making 107 times as much as their employees, and by 2007, 275 times as much. This meant, incidentally, that the average CEO made more in one workday than the average employee made all year.

Some studies have suggested that employees don't begrudge their bosses the extra pay as long as the company is doing well. However, even by that metric, CEO compensation has grown out of control. With companies lining up to take government bailouts, it is worth asking exactly what companies are getting for their money. One can only imagine the feelings of AIG's rank-and-file employees, and the attitude among low-level workers at Merrill Lynch must be downright mutinous.

Comments:
4-05-2009 @ 11:51AM
Manuel said...
What made those 400+ deserve an extra $1000. They should be taxed at 90%. Mob envy took over in the French Revolution. Mike "45cal. or 9mm bonus" would have fit in well there. In fact, he should move to France.
4-05-2009 @ 11:43AM
robtheblogger6 said...
People can bitch and moan about CEOs but guess what : they don't give a sh*t what you think. Why? Because you can't do a damn thing about it. There's no rioting and i haven't hard of any CEOs being 'taken out'. The "common " people take it up the ass like good little sheep.
4-05-2009 @ 1:34PM
Rupert said...

They should all be chased by mobs with pitch forks and torches!

I've heard radio commentators argue that government shouldn't be involved as when the President asked GM's chairmen to step down.

Well, that's fine. No bailouts either. Let the market sort it out. If you want OUR money- you should be accountable!!

If you ran the company into the ground you DO NOT deserve a bonus! Another employee gets a pink slip for a poor job, why not them? ANY exec who askes for CORPORATE WELFARE, should be fired and stripped of HIS parachute!

We need to all wake up and tell congress that WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE. Let the CEOs go to food banks and see how degrading it feels. Be outraged!

Self-Retired or Pushed, or Groomed

It is not as complicated as it is made out to be
by Pat Darnell

Retiring, are you? I worked in financial fields for about 7 years before retiring. I jumped into Insurance games from Chicago to Houston. It turn out pretty easy to take the tests for each state, passing with a score of 70 or better. Then finding a company to sponsor me; turned to be Farmers, then Western Southern.

It amounted to a lot of barking at the moon. Before sacrificing myself to "securities brokers," I worked in my chosen field of engineering... *[and sincerely, I would like to apologize to my family for dragging them through that decade of prospecting in financial dogma, also.]

Engineering is based on the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help us, because an act of God will destroy structures based on fault or graft and kill or maim people. Not so in the selling of securities for Insurance companies, Banks, Property Casualty outfits... those pyramidal groups have derived all the ways to not supply security with their securities.

There is only one total amount of insurance that can be sold. It alters any idea one might have about making a 'deal' in the purchase of Property\Casualty Insurance like Auto or House policies. That GEICO Gecko is a Chameleon. There are no 'deals' to be made. Return of premium from Allstate or USAA, that is your money they used for a year to pad their accounts. It should be returned 'with interest' paid by Allstate to you along with a thank you note for your donation. It is simply a return of your overpayment for that year. It isn't a dividend.

So, here is the 'Crux of that Bixcuit:' Securities are designed to be esoteric. The language and method of calculating and securing is designed in 'cryptic language, on purpose.' Bankers at holding companies thickly disguise Securities to be unrecognizable once they are printed into glossy, robust, unreadable pamphlets and brochures.

So, to myself and anyone else -- What happens to long time workers? Have a good talk with your postman\mail-carrier this week. Thirty years and out. "I'm retiring this year," says my postman. "Yep, 31 years, and I'm ready. I can't take that front office anymore."

"Wow, 31 years is tough to do, but congratulations," I say. "I have lots of friends who have tried to make the thirty year and out route.. they make it seven years or so, then.. move on."

He nods in agreement, because he has seen it happen over and over. The test of this trial by work-a-day has been "Can one keep up?" Keeping up is the number one comment I hear from friends who have retired early. "I sure don't miss having to 'keep up' at a job."

That is why when a long time employee moves on, what he and she did to 'keep up' day to day, 8 hours a day is lost. And believe it or not that is what separates the C Class elite from the worker-bees.

Most CEO types find time to plan their retirement, and groom a replacement before they leap into obscurity. That is because they know the securities are all liabilities. Most put a price on retirement and contribute to it personally.

Besides, many 'Groomlings' have recently been less loyal to the system they are prepared for, and move on in a matter of three to seven years. Long time employment has been on the wane for some time now.

Retirement is not based on your employment, as much as on your attitude. Do not think of it as over the hill; think on how it occurred no matter what. Think about Old President Carter and how his retirement became his most productive years.
(thanks for listening; pd)

MooPig Considers Outsourcing its Blogging Operations Offshore

by Pat Darnell

MooPig had its Quarterly "Belly Up and Why" Company wide Meetings. Since the last quarter of 2007 when the Blogger Strike of '07 was in full throttle... what ?? you never heard of that?... Look it up! [Blogger Strike]

Well, our point is MooPig Enterprises has been in a steady no growth flat-line since the blogger walkout.

"If we had no blog at all, we would be in almost the same earnings category, as we are with MooPig Wisdom Blogspot.com," said CEO/FYOD Hermann Moonster.

"No More Blog: No More Blog..." became the chant from the shareholder at the meeting. One had to listen carefully to understand the slogan.

In a last ditch effort, MooPig has recently opened its blogosphere to 17 more topical blog sites. "We do this in hope that someone around here will understand that legs sell," said COO, Chief Operations Officer Levon Brasse.

"More Legs.... More Legs..." the chant changed from the floor.

A motion was presented and the vote was unanimous, 1 to 0, in favor of making a strategic study committee for the purpose of "Offshore Outsourcing" for the blog, "MooPig Wisdom."

"The only negative discussion came from the floor as to the cultural objections to Cows and Pigs in their societies, like India and Iraq where the better outsource outfits are," said MooPig's undersecretary of notes and minutes, Helen Waite. "Won't those chiefly Hindi and Muslim nations be adverse to signing in with the abomination of a pig stuck in a belly of a sacred bull?" came the frequently asked question.

MooPig Enterprise Chief Learning Officer, CLO, has been appointed initial duties to pursue the mandate. "I do not know any more than you, nor care to comment on any of the discussions from the company or shareholder meetings at this time," said Orville Knoblock, CLO.

Later in the lobby at the Barn, CLO Orville confided in MooPig editorial circles that he is in a pickle with Scientologists, as he is just now changing over to Latter Day Adventists after fifteen years with L. Ron Hubbard. He may take a leave of absence, as rumored, to get his swerve back. His groomed assistant, Orp Onob, is the most probable candidate to be burdened with offshore outsourcing potentials studies for MooPig Wisdom, -- while Orv is hiding out from Scientology's Recon. Orp is a Presbyterian.

In conclusion, MooPig has this list of high rewards initiatives proposed by the only learned consultants available at the meeting. Geraldine Fox and Nigel Hughes said: "Offshore-ing business operations offers the potential for cost savings of 15 percent, maybe 20 percent, but Compass Analysis show that organizations that properly plan and operate offshore initiatives can reap substantially higher rewards."

They offered this list of "mistakes organizations often make when implementing and managing offshore initiatives." They say it can be understood in context of seven deadly sins... and when they said that -- well, the whole MooPig Enterprise became alert; because if there is anything the MooPig People understand it is the "Seven Deadly Sins!"

• Pride
• Sloth / Laziness
  
• Avarice
• Lust / Extravagance
• Envy
• Gluttony
• Anger

(Fox, Geraldine, and Hughes, Nigel; Baseline Mag.com Sep 2008)