MooPig Earnings Tracking Department Presents :: "MACY'S" and "MADONNA"

Retail Update: Macy's announces net income ...
Published: August 12, 2010  |  Retrieved for Ed Porpoises by Pat Darnell


Macy's announces net income increase during second quarter
In particular, Macy's has greatly benefited from its localization plan, which puts decisions on what merchandise to stock closer to customers. It has also put more experienced workers on its sales floor.

" ... For example, Lundgren has said that Macy's added more career dresses and navy pumps at its Washington, D.C. store, a move that helped to boost sales. Washington, with a strong base of government workers, typically has shoppers with more conservative fashion tastes. (ANNE D'INNOCENZIO. AP Retail Writer) ... "

Read more: HERE and HERE

Its moderately priced fashion exclusives include the recently launched Material Girl, a teen line created by pop star Madonna and her 13-year-old daughter Lourdes. The line sells from $12 to $40.

NEW YORK — Macy's Inc.'s net income surged in the second quarter as the department store chain saw a payoff from its focus on exclusive moderate-price fashions and tailoring merchandise to local markets.

The Cincinnati-based company boosted its profit outlook and increased its forecast for a key revenue measure as it takes market share from rivals such as J.C. Penney.

Indications that Macy's will be a clear winner as the retail earnings season gets under way drove its stock up 79 cents, or 4.1 percent, to $20.18 in early afternoon trading.

The chain said Wednesday that it posted net income of $147 million, or 35 cents per share, for the period ended July 31. That compares with $7 million, or 2 cents per share, in the same period last year. Revenue rose 7.2 percent to $5.54 billion. For the quarter, revenue at stores open at least a year rose 4.9 percent. Revenue at those stores is considered a key measure of a retailer's health.
From wire reports

MooPig's "HOW To DO To" Department Presents "Advice for Mom2Pop Mercantile Stores" :: Rx Counter Gurl

Soon MooPig will have an exclusive on the portal to success :: "Who is standing behind your Counters," Merc's.. is it your Ideal? Yes? Well then maybe your Ideal sucks ... eh?
by Pat Darnell*

Tough love; ever heard that oxymoron? Take a hard, tough, objective look at your own stores' space as if you are the person wanting repeat business appeal standards. What pulls you, and, the bald man back into your establishment to buy shampoo... huh?

It is not, for sure, a Grouse standing at your business-end, money machines, looking like an infantry soldier in Iraq -- wishing only to get home.

Nor is repeat, value add-able, customers interested in your pharmacist -- who, though highly intelligent enough to keep you all out of malpractice courts -- is but a Goober when it comes to handling customers.... name calling you clinchingly quiver at me... Shut Up: grow a pair, all of you genderless PC oxymoronic budgies. This is not about taking the smoke out of smoking.

Repeat Appeal -- It is 83.9933% [plus\minus 2.3399%] your counter Gurl, and the other percentages really do not matter. Your store looks just like the Ben Franklin, Long John Silvers and Mega Wash Detailers and Outfitters Drive-thru ... and so on, etcetra etcetra ... I'm going out like Elsie -- not unlike Liza's veritable sameness. Sure clean and dust proof, dry Dry Goods, 'ample parking, is all important. But COME ON !! it is the least on a list. Moreover, these figures are posted and based on absolutely no scientific data.

You might set up your store's front egress like a Tavern's Bar. Even provide toe kick with a Captain Morgan foot rail, antique brass spittoon, and genuine clank of thick glass containers. MAKE THE COUNTER OUT OF REAL WOOD PLANK.


Want a GUARANTEE? Okay-- "I guarantee it ain't fancy Muzak, impulse shelving and vendor provided slip and slides... " it's background NOISE.


Why? If you have to ask, you need more business, and the male shopper has been forgotten... or have you noticed? JCPenney got rid of its AUTO and TOOLS Departments way back in 1980's ...  that does not make any sense.

If your counter Gurl [of course this is a sexist sounding parody - that's why I spell it funny] is your Grammy, hey just get her blessed heart a make-over. If she doesn't want to be all that Bea Arthur stat, well take a chance being written out of Grammy's Last Will and Testament, and hire according Human Relations' *FACE Factor 40% \ *SERVICE with a smile factor 25%, *JUDGMENT with a character 35%, and **Genuine exceptional BEAUTY factor 100%, Rx Counter Gurl. All Factors should be field adjusted to Merc's general tastes and fashion customs and idiosyncrasies to augment call of the wild authenticity and enamor.  And I repeat: moreover, these figures are posted and based on absolutely no scientific data..

Why the Pharmacy counter? That is the furthest point from your front doors, and target customers' number one: "Balding, Heart Broke, man who keeps going to his Doctors for only one reason..." -- to walk all the way to the back of YOUR store to be told: "... that will be twenty minutes Sir."

It is written -- So saith the God of Creation: "whispering to now happy balding heart less broke man: you must have spotted something on your way back to Rx Counter that you can go shop for now," ... is the prayer of every Merc Mom 2 Pop Store Proprietorship ... no? Oh yeah it is. [Hi Ricardo, how it's hanging? UDAMAN]

BINGO ... I have your number. We could set up a coffee center, and a "fulla" Doll impulse stand. And you all thought stores were random dens of unbearable clutter. Vote for stiffer tariffs on China Imports to USA.

MooPig's Retail Tales Department, has once again spoke on its readers' behalf: all seven of them.

NEXT WEEK :: "There has to be BEAST behind every Beauty..."


*Pat Darnell is a very humble, retired from engineering, person, who with 30 years of beast-ful knowledge in retail layout and design says: "I will accept franchise and sole-proprietor store owners', anyone's, challenge for me to walk in, and in 90 days increase your ledgers' blackness by 33%, both ledgers that is, by improving repeat business. I have done it before, and can do it for anyone, except maybe pizza businesses."

Ahhhhhhh Shoe.... "Guzenheit, Pilgrim"

MooPig Fashion Department asks its Readers: Did you organize your closet yet for November '09?

Here are suggestions of various blogs throughout, for what to keep and what to THROW !
by Pat Darnell and the Hoofers

Only your feet know for sure!















Plymouth Rock was difficult to navigate with these gold pumps...

Keep ~ Throw! Dilemma or Reaction?
















‘opinions please’ friday: sexy flats from hollywould
September 28, 2007
The Shoe Dish :: so pretty you want to pet them
[HERE]
We are seriously loving on Hollywould right now. The fall shoe collection kicks some serious shoe ass and we find ourselves with an interesting dilemma. How will shoedish afford the entire line? Yikes!! This could pose a potentially fatal fight with our frugality. We’re lovin’ on the snakeskin, we’re lovin’ on the patina shine, and we’re lovin’ lovin’ the oversized pilgrim buckle that adorns the vamp of these sexy d’orsay flats. When is the last time you called a flat sexy? Yum! Would you wear these snakeskin d’orsay flats? Holly would. Opinions?

Recall This!!!!

Somebody is defecating where they eat. China is becoming a model for what is called the Wheel in Rugby. The scrum is thrown into a spin by one team when half of one team's cunningly bloody scrum quits pushing and drops backward, and the other half pushes the mass of bodies into a hyperbolic paraboloid. Hooker foots a dribble to the scrum half who is tearing down the weak side of the field like a fly half. Great in seven a sides. Are our distant Nemesis's doing all this intentionally? Throwing global trade into disarray?

Distribution: What do you do with a drunken sailor? You chat him up and steal his money.. that's what. I would rather have the low caste of freight ship captains drop the useless dog food containers into deep sea, than have a recall. Have you ever been in the retail business? You see, customers come in and spend a certain fare per square foot of the total store area. To do that requires a continuous shopping experience. Handling stock items four of five times, is a joke; a sad embittering tale of woe.

If I have to remove bloody killer dog food, that comes in 55 lbs. bags, from 300 lineal feet of heavy duty shelving... then it is a total clauster-frak. Kapish?

China is a group of less than artisans who are contracted to make products for the world consumer, but mostly the US consumer, namely Scruffy in the backyard.

Comparison: A Chinese is able to live off one grain of rice three times a day, and a bowl of Chinese Stew. The average dog food bag stuffer in China has no idea what the hell this 55 lb bag of stuff is used for. They have no idea of the end-use. Alex Foo, packer jogger at Kibble Bits dog food factory says this: "What is this bag for? It feed families in United States?"

My wifey had to go to Wal-Mart yesterday and move what we calculate to be 8000 lbs of tainted dog food. As Merchandiser for vendors trade in the number one retailer in the world, pronounced Wal-Malt in China, she has to do all this by her self, as shoppers steered baskets and some L'il Amigas electric courtesy scooters around her. Land o' goshen, it's a small town so finally a couple of allies started to pitch in as the pallets of recalled product became taller than she is. "It was at one point recall by cascading bags," said Mrs Wife as the day's events were retraced.

So, is there a solution to recall being diminished by educating Chinese in the "end-use" of the product they are mass producing? I am afraid so: bring Chinese here, expose them to non-edible dog breeds; then return to factory and report. The only problem might be that they would want to stay here once they see their children grow into enormous heights, and play on professional teams. I am thinking volleyball, and basketball and of course rugby, they already know the illegal scrummage Wheel maneuver.

2045 Grand Re-Opening of MooPig Wisdom; and Grandist Scale of Class Structure Oddity

Bourgeoisie Upper class Ruling class Nobility White-collar Petite bourgeoisie Upper middle class Creative class Gentry Blue-collar Proletariat Middle class Working class Nouveau riche/Parvenu Pink-collar Lumpenproletariat Lower middle class Lower class Old Money Gold-collar Peasant/Serf Slave class Underclass Classlessness...

MooPig is planning its Grand Re-Opening for August 29, 2045

Mistress of Ceremonies TBA: Could be the Older version of the lady pictured above

• If you are not assimilated by then, you will be, so get your Moink On!!!
• It will prove to be a Grandiose Affair with Sleds and Bells
• and, Always read the Fine Print!! Hear ye, Hear ye this Public Announcement

Funding to be Provided in receipt of its Rebate from Microsoft; pending litigations filed in the spirit of conjecture for compensations provided for in the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation from 1994 - 2045, blah 'd blah 'd blah 'd

"Yeah, we decided to just give it all back.. of course we kept the interest," might have said Melinda Gates in a most likely pre-re-opening meeting over some future weekend. So goes the saga of twenty-first century King Solomon, Bill Gates, and his mag-significant other, Melinda.

It's 2008, January and Fortune Magazine is reporting from the mansion just above the Gates Way to MSN copper mines of Legend. Somewhere in Washingtoniana...

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation had assets of $37.6 billion at end of 2007. Bill Gates just said his usual: "'Yes, we're a couple that has fun discussing fertilizer while we walk on the beach,' Bill says proudly. 'Melinda is more scientific and reads more than 99% of the people you'll ever meet,' he says" (Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56).

The cryptic couple apparently reviews annually around 6000 grant requests together in their chairman's office at Microsoft. The Gates Criteria for turning on a flow meter of cash to a worthy cause? "...Early on she and Bill agreed to focus on a few areas of giving, choosing where to place their money by asking two questions:

1. 'Which problems affect the most people?



2. 'And which have been neglected in the past?'" (pg 47-48)

[this is where natural snooping and curio put moopig on the $-scent for a grand-re-opening]

1. MooPig is ambiguously problematic for at least thousands, and



2. MooPig has been neglected for all of its life, past and future!

FORTUNE's Philanthropy section states: "Bill surprised Melinda on New Years Day, 1994 by arranging for Willie Nelson to perform just for them at their marriage that day." Then apparently they proceded to just-right-size their bridal house. It is reported 40,000 square feet of newlywed horror, back then: "It was a bachelor's dream and a bride's nightmare. So the bride took control and performed nu'veau riche surgery, 'If I do move in ...it's going to be like I want it to be,' said she [Melinda]" (Housing Crisis, Pg 56, paraphrased).

Melinda and Bill have a philanthropy jones: "I'm in wholesale. I'm not retail," says Bill. (pg 56) While Melinda says "A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing," per Warren Buffet's philosophy. This translates into "giving 95% of their fortune away within their lifetimes," says Fortune. [See also: Warren Buffet's bequest in same article, pg 54]

MooPig, sitting right here, says "Huh?"

"'My fatal flaw?' Melinda says laughing during [FORTUNE's] third and final interview. She sometimes wishes for a simpler life" (pg 56). We the editors at MooPig speculate she wants the simpler life 5% of the time, and goes for the Queen of Philanthropy 95% of the time. [See Also: Ima Hogg, Hogg Philanthropy]

I submit locked in this story is the Hilton Syndrome that follows nouveau riche throughout history. Poor Bill and Melinda. And what about their children? Can Melinda plan for the ensuing spouses of her children? Will her daughters all marry one-legged veterans of foreign wars, in support of the cause? MooPig asks the hard questions. Will Melinda's sons pay dowries to have and husband Bush-women from the Kalahari? Lord help them all. [See also: Hiltons giveaway +- 95% of Paris's inheritance; must be a trend]

So how does this interview end? "She [Melinda] was giving herself a pep talk. 'I told myself , "But I do know enough."' She [had] completed her goal for the day: calling for the eradication of one of the worst diseases the world has ever known [malaria]. Tomorrow another goal. Maybe it will be even bigger."

[Weee--doggie, Jethro, start up the motorized buggy ..I swear that is the final words of the article] (pg 56).

Even though all is fair in war and philanthropy, and even though I could not be having this orgy of opinionated moink pig latin in here via the Internet without Microsoft, and even though metaphor is mightier than the pen is... I think Melinda's fatal flaw is "Brown pant suits," and the worst disease in our world is "nouveau riche philanthropy, along with the first signs of incontinence."

"'Bill is an awkward guy,' says Warren Buffet, a close friend of the couple. 'He's lopsided, but less lopsided since he's with Melinda.'" (pg 54)

Resistance is futile. >pd/final draft2

References

Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56

Whaley, Arthur L. 2006. Sage Foundation: An Objective Rating Form to Evaluate Grant Proposals to the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health, Abstract: vol 30 # 6, retrieved from http://erx.sagepub.com/cgi/content/refs/30/6/803 .

©Frank, Robert L . June 24, 2007; Sunday Times, Bookfirst, Paris Hilton syndrome and how to avoid it. The one problem the super-rich can’t solve with money? What to do with their messed up kids, Extracted from Richistan by Robert L Frank to be published by Piatkus Books on July 2; retireve from: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/~/article1976765.ece.