Foist the CowBoy Way forever

Working Trucks of Bryan TX
by Pat Darnell

This is about the transfiguration of working trucks down here.

When I commute to the job, I don't expect to be entertained. Today was entertaining. As I queued for the light at Boonville and Copperfield Roads, spread out in my front-window was the rear end of a 2006 - Dodge Ram 3500 - Mega Cab - Dually 4x4 - Laramie - RR. I said to my passenger, Fred, "Whooo-eeee, Frederico, look at all that stuff on the trailer hitch of that Dually. ..." Fred finds it a bit amusing.

Valero's GaAs Station at the same corner is sporting Regular for $2.89, and diesel for $3.02 ... I drive a 2001 Dodge Neon. Between the two of us Dodges we are somewhat carbon neutral. Talking to self, still waiting to turn left behind the Dually, say I:

"I am pretty sure these huge trucks are going to be valuable in the near future. People will be looking for these power houses as the automobile industry waivers on electro-dynamo hybrids, eh?" 

"So, the best thing to do is to get one of these cowgirl Cadillacs and hold on to it for a few years. We'll see about what happens in a future think tank of fish, okay Self?"

I am muy entertained; this is a great drive coming up. I squint to see: "What the devil is that on his trailer hitch?"

Usually a partner has one trailer hitch ornament. In the beginning simply  slit tennis balls; held the grease and kept the ball clean. Then caps like a boat propeller, ten gallon hats, socks, and I don't know what else.

I suppose if one is a real tiger out here today in his Dually, like this one on parade, he will have "three" ball hitch ornaments. On the left is a brass casting of balls of a bull, looking very out of place. On the right side is a bareback bull rider's cowbell, and many say you can never have too much cowbell.

"Fred, that thing in the middle what the devil is that? It looks like a rams head, but no." The third of three item on the hitch was a new one for me. I would have to get alongside with a better angle to figure out that shape.

Things from the hitch up only got better. The Texas Decorators License Plate said "FRGT 1," with a scenic Texas bluebonnet field background. The tail gate had not one ding on it. It was topped with a non-standard bed liner that went sidewall to sidewall, topped at the rails with balustrade two inch pipe, powdered coated and custom bent to accent the lines of the bed, and on up to the rear window.

His rear window had a custom fitted cowboy silhouette stamped out of deck metal and powder coated black. The scene was all about the cowboy way, showing romance, windmill, and wrangling cattle in its spanner. I cannot see one scrape, not any smudge, nor even a fingerprint upon all this applied art moss.

I'm still thinking I can get a look at that last hitch ornament, but not until we stop at the light at Elmo Weeden and Boonville Roads.

"Ah, its a well head, treble gear bladed, powder coated black cutting head. I'll be danged, Frederico!"

So this is Steers, Bells, and  Wells... rolling after-market personalizing craftsmanship of today's cowboy up Dually.

Good public art stops you in your tracks, while the best public art also opens up a new thought channel in your head. Especially today in our Eco-graffiti, reverse logic, throwaway objects, materialistic hobo, Moss Def spanner dirty hems, powder coated, unexampled 4 eating 4, RAM style, will we all remain rich and guilder bonded servants to our heritages?

It fits -- our Dually this afternoon -- it really fits; it is true that the discovery, extrusion, and [now, also,] spilling of Oil and Gas will forever foist our Cowboy Way : to pass off as genuine and worthy, costly and valueless, products the public needs in order to keep it alive ... Wah-laa!

And, it made the drive to work much more fun.
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MooPig Space Jump

Hey MooPigsters everywhere, hold your heads high. That is -- "LOOK UP..." the red bull really is jumping over the  moon. It is merely coincidence that MooPig Special Events Department sponsored a MooPig Cow Space Jump nearly the same time those other guys at the canned drink company did theirs.

Ne'ertheless, MooPig "carpet did'em.." and has successfully sent its prize red bull calf several feet above the horizon, and gently touched down moments before he was dissected by aliens. So, our story doesn't have the best of endings... we still did it! And ours only cost a $buck fiddy to pull off. Low budget fun is what we are all about over here.

MooPig Circulation Statistics Department is expecting a viewer mega bubble as our event goes viral... only we didn't have enough in the budget to make a youTube. So you can just repeatedly visit here, and prove once again you don't have to be rich to have some fun!

Mesmerizing! 


http://i.imgur.com/E00nl.gif

Occupy KATY, TEXAS? :: "Poster in Katy draws complaints ..."

[Picture LINK]

Best Of Texas Blogs: Pearland: Poster in Katy draws complaints ...: "KHOU: Imagine a poster that shows a man being hanged and a couple dozen armed cowboys posing under him, with a caption that reads "Lets Play Cowboy's And IRANIANS!""

'via Blog this'

Read Entire Article HERE ...

______________Reference
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057599/Iran-Poster-showing-hanging-Iranian-sparks-outrage-Texas-BBQ-restaurant.html
http://best-of-texas-pearland.blogspot.com/2011/11/poster-in-katy-draws-complaints.html

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Here Come da' Energy Czar...

by Pat Darnell | 12.06.2008
Now first things first. Energy Czar Position opening up. Obama has said it, so I reckon it is the lingo we will be using. But why use Czar -- why not something Native American like Lameduck Sitting Bush... or Chief Comic-Relief Cosby'er...

Summary: The wrangle over the creation of a high-level energy council or climate "czar" could determine which appointees will run the three agencies, which have the biggest impact on energy and climate policy. ... appointees to run the departments of Interior and Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency... [Retrieved HERE]

Obama, Aides Consider Appointing Energy 'Czar'
By STEPHEN POWER and NEIL KING JR. | Dec 6, 2008
WSJ
What is a "Czar" -- besides a tyrannical leader of an enigmatic but defunct Caucasian National Royalty -- being here resurrected by the First Black President of the USA? Obama, we hired you because you promised you wouldn't be like all the others. In this stage of two presidents, -- because I see you executing more often lately than Lame duck Sitting Bush -- I think your DC crowd of talking heads are dragging their under utilized feet.

Sort of like this fence straddling cowboy in the photo: Prez Obama says, "Son, your country needs you as Czar... of somethin' or another."

Bull rider gives a faceBook of good faith, but later: "Do I really want to ride that bull out there in all that mud."

Is that the Maynard G Krebs motto I hear on the wind from Baltimore? "WORK?"

Bob Denver, played his best friend, beatnick Maynard G. Krebs ("Work?!?"), an abvious prototype of today's teenage slacker. (Which would make sense, since 'Dobie Gillis' was running on Nick at Nite ten years ago!) Maynard G. Krebs looks like he stepped right out of a modern Abecrombie and Fitch ad! [SOURCE]

The only way that the environment will ever be fixed by Federal action is if we put a herd of Angus on the White House Lawn.

This Just In... [stop]

Date: Wednesday, November 12, 2008, 8:02 PM

In a message dated 11/12/2008 6:42:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, antonedavis, Marthasville, MO sends telegram:

> Date: Tuesday, November 11, 2008, 10:46 AM > A cowboy > > > > A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote > mountainous > pasture in Missouri when suddenly a brand-new BMW > advanced out of > a dust cloud towards him. >[stop] > The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, > RayBan > sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the > cowboy, > "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you > have in your > herd, Will you give me a calf?" > [stop]

> Bud looks at the man, then looks at his > peacefully > grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" > > > The dude parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook > computer, connects > it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA > page on the > Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact > fix on his > location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that > scans the > area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. >[stop]

> The dude then opens the digital photo in Adobe > Photoshop and exports > it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany >[stop]

> Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that > the image has > been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an > MS-SQL database > through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on > his Blackberry > and, after a few minutes, receives a response. >[stop]

> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his > hi-tech, > miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the > cowboy and > says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." >[stop]

> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of > my calves," says Bud. > > He watches the young man select one of the animals and > looks on amused as > the young man pushes and prods it into the back seat of his car. >[stop]

> Then the Bud says to the dude, "Hey, if I can > tell you exactly what > your business is, will you give me back my calf?" >[stop]

> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, > "Okay, why > not?" > > "You're a Congressman for the U.S. > Government", says Bud. > > "Wow! That's correct," says the dude, > "but how did you guess that?" >[stop]

> "No guessing required," answered Bud the cowboy. > "You showed up here even > though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an > answer I already > knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how > much smarter > than me you are; and you don't know a thing about > cows...this is a > herd of sheep. . > > Now give me back my dog. > > > >[stop]

A shout out to Marthasville where the chickens are very clean, Martha Boone is buried there, the organist at the COC is a German girl, and the pastor's wife is Cuban. Thanks, antonedavis, for that information. We will sure look into the incident just as soon as we figure out who you are. MooPig Editors

Dear George Bush: (either one)

Open letter to the commander-in-chief and the Prince of Elements of the cowboy republic formerly known as the USA:

Re: CCD, WMD and Big Dicks of Texas and surrounding states, water and Prince of the elements

cc: H. Clinton "Beware the leaven of Men"

Dear George Bush, either one:
CCD is the real enemy of this country; we are not hit men for the Saudis.

The Department of Justice should put some of its resources into fighting the microbes of Cascading Colony Disorder, CCD, and save some bees before looking for WMD, weapons of mass destruction.

Let me explain: since you are a rancher, it is in your best Geo Bush interest to control the forces of nature. That Katrina mess should have given you a clue.

Item One: You have the technology and the purpose, and the funds to make it rain in Iraq, Iran and all those screwed up mid-east countries.

• Seed the atmosphere like you have been doing here in Texas

Make it rain hard in the desert

• Iraqis have no experience with water and will surely have a revolutionary reaction


• Water will bring "flowers to the desert."

Item Two: Moslem's and Arabians have been living centuries in a region where they have no water. They therefore develop from childhood with less water and green vegetation than the rest of the world. Having little water makes a population smaller, and weaker. Most evident is a lack of zinc in the diets of arid domiciled populations. It turns out:

No zinc in diet results in smaller average penis size

• Smaller male genitals makes males less able to please females


• Males must resort to extreme repression to hold onto their females

Now I thought every big dick Texan knew this. Especially the Bushes, since they are such big Texans. Or are they? Either way it is in the Commanders' best interest to make rain in Iraq, let those hapless people in on the secrets of happiness: Cool Clear Water, and normal, functional sexual activity, with big, water filled, strong women like Anna Nic-Smith.

Poor women of Arabia... I feel their pain!! (could have been said-- Sen. H. Clinton)

Once you have put water into sheep dip hideouts for despots, latrines and hovels... maybe the culture will discover chairs and quit eating off dirt floors that are becoming damp. Just ask your untapped constituency west of the Allegheny mountains, and East of the Rockies:

Midwesterners are sick of going into police actions in 700+ countries and trying to remedy the eating, hygiene and sewer problems with police action. Our troops have become sitting ducks for the last time, Mr. President... oh, you are a lame duck yourself, sorry forgot.

More water, more rain, just spray the stratosphere with the stuff you have been putting in the sky above Texas and Midwest. I guess I am trying to say as your peer George: Don't be such a fool -- scripture says the enemy is subdued by the Prince of Elements... so seize the day and make it rain on those poor bastards. You are the Prince of Elements, and you don't even know it?

Remember if you don't take care of the CCD in bee colonies soon, you won't have any Angus on your dinner plate. And if I find out you are a drugstore cowboy, who doesn't know the condition of his own pasture sod, I might have to ask my fellow Texans to consider censure on your doings. I get the feeling you don't realize Bonanza was a fictitious TV show.

Yours, with warm regards,

Patrick Darnell, BS BA Management, CTU, Trinity University Alumnus

"The roughest road often leads to the top." Christina Aguilera

"I was 23, and he was 86. I saw a very sick man. I just wanted to just talk with him. There was no physical attraction at all. He was very much attracted to me. ...Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate's name." Anna Nicole Smith