MooPig FWD Email Department :: "Senior Moments"

Get out Your Old Rubberized Rain~Coat
Retrieved by Pat Darnell | Sep 9, 2012 | Bryan TX

[Picture LINK]

from: laketravis.com
 September 3

Being Green

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truely recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

[Picture LINK]
___________________Reference
http://www.designeronline.com.au/products/Senior-Moments-Luggage-Tags-(Set-of-2).html
http://www.bilgebucket.com/?p=2278
http://www.bilgebucket.com/?tag=rnc

Three Ring Circus Money Supply at the Big Top

Ben Bernanke Lyrics
[SOURCE] Hello there, Spencer
I see you
You boy boy
I see you, Spencer
With my eyes
You're the architect of my dreams, Spencer
You plan them, and build them on blue paper,
And hand them to me
And then I dream them Spencer
That's what you do for me
Thank you for that, Spencer, you prick
I'm a magician, Spencer,
A furious magician
Oooooh
Avada Kedavra
Spencer, to you, Spencer
Avada Kedavra, to you, Spencer
You think you're something special, Spencer
You think you're something brand new
But you're old oats, Spencer
You're old, dry, stale, oats, Spencer
I'm a magician, Spencer,
A furious magician
Oooooh
You're a tall glass of water,
Aren't you Spencer?
You boy... Precious boy.
I'm Ben Bernanke, Spencer,
And I want your teeth
For the federal reserve
I'm cutting interest rates in half, Spencer
And I need your teeth
I'll admit, Spencer
You're hansome... but what have you done with it?
You think you can mock me, Spencer?
Do you?
Do you think you can mock me Spencer?
Do you think you can capture my essence and
Throw it back at me with humor and
Rhetorical devices?
Well you can't, Spencer
You don't know what I'm capable of
I need your teeth
For my Lonley Hearts Club Band, Spencer
Ben Bernanke
I'm a magician, Spencer,
A furious magician
Oooooh
Are you proud of you country?
Are you proud of you country?
I bet you are,
You pretty little boy
Sitting up there in your high chair
Demanding more applesauce
You've already got enough applesauce, Spencer
There's plenty of applesauce on your plate
I'm going to kiss you, Spencer
On the lips
You sexy little rattlesnake
You naughty little baby boy
You rambungtious little infant
My mother tries to get me to go on dates, Spencer
You know what that's like?
You know how humiliating that is, Spencer?
You boy Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer
Oh my god
You tall drink of water, Spencer
I'm a magician, Spencer,
A furious magician
Oooooh
I'm a magician, Spencer,
A furious magician magician magician
I love you, Spencer
I'm gonna spank you silly (HERE)
*
*______________
Song Title / Artist / Band:Album:Rating:
Ben Bernanke  / Lemon Demon  /  Unknown
*
*
*

MooPig's Weather Report

"Hey; Johnson, is this the right picture for September?"

Isn't this where Osama Been Hiding?

MooPig does not toot its own horn very often ... or haven't you noticed?
Retrieved for Ed Porpoises by Pat Darnell

Preceding this horrific event, NOvember 4, 2009, MooPig had been preaching from its bully pulpit that the way to capture the attention of the Terrorists of the Mid-East, led by Osama bin Hidin', was to make it rain. Yes rain like a som-uva-bich' over those caves and dungeons that house our public international enemy numbers one through ten.
"Get out your rubberized Raincoat "
Guess what -- despite the catastrophic repercussions of having a vengeful mind and genuine hate for a person, MooPig Editor-in-Chief, alone, wishes to point out that little-dicked prickly bastard doe-eyed sack-of-shit twerp Bin Laden, probably does not know how to swim: sinks like a rock.

So, here is a MooPig send off: "Happy Drowning, Osama Bin Laden. I hope you are in a Ghost House with no stairs, and you have to stand in water up to your scraggly beard for 42 hours with you saying 'Make no waves' ... hasta la vista, mo)(&)(*f)*&)(ker."
[note: Bin L's sickness has made me a sicker person, admitted]

Only thing is -- why does OBL have to take 14 million innocent people down with him?

[Map SOURCE]   |   " ... (Excerpt) PESHAWAR, 8 August 2010 (IRIN) - For the past 10 days, torrential monsoon rainfall has killed more than 1,600 people inflicted widesperad damage across the country, with the northwestern province of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa (KP) suffering the greatest losses, federal authorities and aid agencies say.

Estimates vary over the number of people affected by the floods. The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) said on 8 August four million had been affected, while some media reports suggest up to 14 million.

Unrelenting downpours continue to limit relief efforts and have grounded helicopters in KP, leaving thousands of people cut off in areas where roads and bridges have been swept away.

“Worse could lie ahead. More rains are expected and this could affect people in low-lying areas,” Mian Iftikhar Hussain, KP information minister, told IRIN. [SOURCE] ... "

-- Did Someone take my Advice...? --

Okay, so let's give him Malaria, buckets of Rain and Mosquitoes

Mullen says Osama bin Laden in Pakistan

July 25, 2010 by Homeland Security NTARC News
Filed under Homeland Security News  |  US officials continue to press for the whereabouts of al Qaeda terror leader Osama bin Laden.
Top American military commander Mike Mullen has said the US believes that the al Qaeda terror network leader Osama bin Laden and his deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri are in Pakistan.
The presence of these terrorist leaders in the region is a reason why “a principal part of the overall Af-Pak strategy is focused on elimination of safe havens” for them, Mullen told reporters.
[Read More] ...

This Just In :: From Field Correspondent Gaetano "Guy" Visconti

We suggest you buy that Raincoat you always wanted
Retrieved by Pat Darnell

Guy Visconti  |  Chicago  | 03.28.2010
Just in Case You are a Senior and Get a Check for $250...
By end of this year, we seniors will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program.
I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
------------ --------- ---------
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala .
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.


Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US .


Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

thanks Guy. PD

Okay, so let's give him Malaria, buckets of Rain and Mosquitoes

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Make it Rain on those M**herF**kers, Today...



Iran Prez calls out Mosquitoes, USA Type?? Okay we send them to him... good luck wid' it you Putz.
by Pat Darnell and Grade AAA Brazos Valley Fightin' Bitin' Mosquitoes



Message to BHO: Hey Barry, cut through the crappe -- cut me some slack. Get the hell off your ass. Here is what you do:

Seed those som' bi'ches' clouds over Iran, and Afghan hiding places, and let it pour down malaria filling puddles of rain, tornadic hurricane typhoonic monsoonic rains of flash floods on those impotent cowards, flush those stupid rats out of their holes... then send in our fightin' bitin' stormin' Mosquito Forces. YEAH !!

I have a hunch conflicts will end when we give Ahmadinejad his own Katrina... I admit, Mine is PURE Hatred for useless, pointless, purposeless bags of protoplasm -- on all sides.

We have the technology, for the love of GOD, ... we have all the technology. You want mosquito, Ahmadinejad Sabourjian, I'll give you mosquito; you stupid son of a bitch..

Hey Barry -- look who is on the cover of The New Yorker !! I don't think it is time to turn the other cheek.

YES -- I have sincere hate for those who take their sh!t too seriously, and too far ..... put a good, old fashioned, act of God on those putrid pin heads ... Hear me Ahmadinejad-uk Freak??

Iran's Ahmadinejad compares West to a 'mosquito'
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad , a day after US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned that the West is 'not going to wait forever' for Iran to accept a UN-backed nuclear deal. By Kristen Chick
posted November 01, 2009 at 10:46 am EST

A daily summary of global reports on security issues.

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has compared Iran's enemies to a "mosquito" as his regime continues to stall in negotiations with the West over Iran's nuclear program.

Mr. Ahmadinejad made the comment Sunday, a day after US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned Iran that "we're not going to wait forever" for Iran to accept the UN-backed nuclear deal, reports the Associated Press.



"While enemies have used all their capacities ... the Iranian nation is standing powerfully and they are like a mosquito," a government Web site quoted Ahmadinejad early Sunday as saying. ... "Given the negative record of Western powers, the Iranian government ... looks at the talks with no trust. But realities dictate to them to interact with the Iranian nation."

[ ... ]

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - perhaps the world's best-known Holocaust denier - might actually be Jewish, according to a bombshell report published on Saturday.

Ahmadinejad's family apparently changed its name from Sabourjian, a Jewish name meaning "cloth weaver," when it converted to Islam after his birth, the London's Daily Telegraph says.

The nuke-pursuing Iranian was photographed in March holding up his identity card, revealing a scrawled note suggesting the shocking name change.(SOURCE)

[ ... ] While Ahmadinejad takes a tough line with the international community, he also faces new challenges at home. The British daily The Guardian reports that Iranian students are planning a massive protest Wednesday against the president's regime on the 30th anniversary of the takeover of the US embassy in Iran by students.

The demonstration is a continuation of the protests that swept through Iran after a disputed election in June, in which Ahmadinejad claimed victory over accusations of massive fraud. The Guardian reports that universities have become hubs of underground dissent since June. Opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi appeared to support the planned protest, reports the newspaper, and said that the significance of planning it on the anniversary of student takeover of the US embassy is to remind Iran that "it is the people who are the leaders."

Hey Barry, and while you're circle jerking with your executive vanities, don't forget North Korea too. Katrina their leader's collective asses, as well. I'll pay for it.

UPDATE -- MooPig's Reader is Back !! Here at MooPig's Thursday Matching Game

UPDATE: We have a Winner -- D2R2 with correct answer:

"The answer is 'to Fargo, ...'

"If you put all of the guitar, mandolin, fiddle, bass, sitar, banjo, cello, ukulele and zither strings in the world end to end how far would they go?"

Back on August 20th , '09 --

Today's rules: Match the Fez with the Guitar; or just look at the pictures for laughs... I had a hard time making a game out of these photos .. obsconded from Google Images ... someday I will have to reckon with plagiarism demons .. until that day -- Carry on my wayward sons and daughters .. don't you cry, no more ..




















































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