Moo Pig Wisdom is a brilliant combination of Antiquity and Prequel Modern Flea Market. We respectfully ask you to mind your children while here.
Showing posts with label rock and roll church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rock and roll church. Show all posts

Sunday, December 14, 2014

MooPig Church of the Beach Department :: "Catholicism"

The catholic Case for a New Strategy
Mixed Mashed Articles by Pat Darnell  |  Dec 7, 2014  |  Bryan TX

Generally we avoid discussions on religions. Doesn't that sound familiar? Almost all social networks post in their guidelines that discussion of liturgy and religion latency will not be tolerated. Then you have atheist groups that don't talk about religion, but actually do talk about religion... eh?

It is the end of the year and all our thoughts turn to our immortal selves, even though we are mortal. But anyway, what we believe seems to have bearing on our living conditions. Pedagogy dodgy, trite, trans-humanism, psycho babble, building maintenance, large salaries; seems a bit much for a non-taxed institutions, that there are more denominations of than there are grains of sand on the beach.

At present churches in the USA seem to have screws loose. I cannot find a church in Bryan TX that isn't heavy-handed pedagogy, starving financially, or stodgy dodgy. But that's me. I have always desired a church that has an architecturally significant building that houses exquisite melodies and is filled with edifying, profound Bible teachings.

We, the MooPig Church of the Beach Department are not going to take on the Catholic Church. NO way. Others are significantly invested in petitioning the Catholic Church to expand in some areas and to cut off branches of the vine in other areas of Christianity. We don't have to add to that. One of our faceBook friends, Annie Gottlieb, posted this article:

After the Future: Walker Percy's Postmodern Catholicism: "Elie quotes Dorothy Day, who somewhere said that the saint is the one who lives his life in a way that would make no sense if God did not exist. The logic of faith, is therefore, the obverse of what makes sense in the broader culture. What is rich is poor, and what is poor is rich. What is fullness in the one is emptiness in the other. The proud shall be humbled, the meek exalted. What is powerful in the world is weakness in the eyes of the Church, or should be. If the Church as Institution truly understood this and organized itself according to this logic, it would not look at all the way it does. And its spiritual authority and credibility would increase a hundredfold. The world longs for such a Church."
'via Blog this'

MooPig Church of the Beach editor, William Rathnistein, says, "We are entering the 'Efforts of the Generalists' in Post-Modern Pre-Revival Modern Pre-Quel Age' of pastors. They put on a show, speak in psychological terms, and rally large crowds under the banner of 'Abundant Living, and pass the collection plates.'"

According to today's article the "world longs for such a church." Not the one we just described but --
"...What is rich is poor, and what is poor is rich. What is fullness in the one is emptiness in the other. The proud shall be humbled, the meek exalted. What is powerful in the world is weakness in the eyes of the Church, or should be. If the Church as Institution truly understood this and organized itself according to this logic, it would not look at all the way it does..."
Therefore, we turn to “Burning Man” type stuff, and its counterpart, post-Modern multi-purpose, multi-use “Kit Churches’...” a couple of crucibles with stand-offish natures.

We are always committed when we start a new thing; and always uncover some revelations from our hospital beds. As often the case, our upstart, in-house discussions so far have invariably ended in fine strands of sifting Sand; like sand in an hour glass.

And, in the case of Joel Osteen, we say "Beware the Mullet."

CONCLUSION
We always include a conclusion at the end of our articles. We are hoping that you, dear readers, all seven of you, will at least read this bit of quantitative-subjectivity, if you do not read the rest of the article. Unfortunately, today, we seem to have lost our train of thought, and have strayed from our intended subject matter, post-Modern Catholicism. It's a bust.



__________________Reference
http://afterthefuture.typepad.com/afterthefuture/2010/05/walker-percys-postmodern-catholicism.html
https://www.facebook.com/annie.gottlieb?fref=nf
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/10/funeral-surreal.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/04/moopigs-church-of-beach-easter-eve-2010.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/03/moopig-earnings-tracking-department.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/03/moopig-hegelian-dialectic-department.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/11/moopig-report-from-middle-meritocracy.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/11/yikes-correlated-by-pat-darnell-11-2013.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/11/moopig-church-of-beach-department.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/11/moopig-church-of-beach-meet-church.html




Thursday, May 15, 2014

MooPig's First Ever Elevator of Death Match :: Solange vs. Vance McAllister

No Holds Barred
Mixed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell  |  May 15, 2014  |  Bryan TX

MooPig Death Match Department is organizing the first ever "Elevator of Death Match" between two Internet trend champions. Both champs, having been caught on surveillance cameras, resulting in tapes recently that were secretly released to the Internet, are likely to want to step up their games so they can remain on the Top Trends lists. The contenders will be put in the elevator of a 100 story building, and ride to the penthouse, while trying to knock each other out. But more than likely the Congressman McAllister from Louisiana will try to sweet talk Solange and suck face.

One fan has already speculated ..."This is going to get more attention than the Zapruder film ..."

"Life is like an elevator ride with Beyonce's sister." ~ Letterman [LINK]


Solange 

versus

Vance McAllister



Cell phone videos made by opportunists make the Internet buzz; especially snogging sessions between Christian Reich Congressmen and their interns, but really big stuff like Solange taking JayZ to the carpet.

As the Washington Post points out, these cell phone videos of surveillance tapes have become commonplace. Thank you Captain Obvious Post for that observation.

NEXT WEEK: Wendy 'Wig-out' Williams takes on Bill 'Lip Lock' Clinton in the "Elevator of Death Match 2"...

_______________________Reference
http://mcallister.house.gov/about/
http://gawker.com/wach-the-full-jay-z-vs-solange-elevator-attack-video-1575217254
http://time.com/80646/congressman-caught-kissing-aide-wont-seek-re-election/
http://gawker.com/christian-gop-congressman-caught-cheating-on-sexy-surve-1560404492



Wednesday, March 05, 2014

LMAO

I Have Been to a church like This, One Time
Reload Embed by Pat Darnell | Mar 5, 2014 | Bryan



Monday, November 25, 2013

MooPig Church of the Beach :: "Meet the Church Hoppers"

Church Health
Retrieved by Pat Darnell  |  Nov 25, 2013  |  Bryan TX




MooPig Wisdom doesn't like to toot its own horn ... well, on second thought, we do toot our own horn ... a lot ... but we see NATGEO TV has used our idea for yet another reality show. We would have called it Church Report Card ... but they have enlisted three hunky men to gather information about a struggling church out there. Then they propose a fixer up plan, and go through the process of what amounts to storefront architectural re-hab. They call it CHURCH RESCUE TEAM, featuring the Church Hoppers.

MooPig Church of the Beach Department thinks it is pretty cool now that NATGEO has filmed its first few episodes. Our guys went out and printed some T-shirts and caps with "Church Report Card" on them. Then they issued this statement:
"As you might have known, we advertise MooPig is enemy of bombast. However, it is revolutionary that we at MooPig A-and-E with unanimous aplomb decide that bombast does in fact have a place in our simulations of Church of the Beach formats. We have come to realize that bombast in its rawest form serves skeletal ambitions like War and Faith. So, bombast is our friend in this newest buona-venture, as ludicrous as that is."
Maybe someday our editorial groups will sync with modern media in a MooPig Reality Show; like a barbecue or something.

Meet the Church Hoppers | National Geographic Channel: "Unfortunately, running a successful parish isn't as easy as just gathering your neighbors in praise. Forty percent of new churches fail within the first year and eighty percent go under in five years. "

EXCERPT
" ... So what happens when a church is failing to thrive? Enter the Church Hoppers. The team is comprised of Kevin “Rev Kev” Annas, Anthony “Gladamere “ Lockhart, and Jerry “Doc” Bentley. Rev Kevin is the resident business guru, who applies his entrepreneurial experience to churches' finances and operations to make sure they're running smoothly. Gladamere is the crew's sales and marketing specialist, helping refine churches' brands and promote their message to the community. Doc is a counselor, motivational speaker and the Hoppers' Church Systems Analyst, getting to know each individual parish's faith to help the church meet its goals. ..."

'via Blog this'

COMMENTS from Site:

Chris Gragg 6 days ago

"Rev Kev"...hahahaha! They had to add an extra sewage treatment plant in Caldwell county for all the people he crapped out of money. I hope he's had a change of heart, but his history sure doesn't leave him with a good testimony in running a "church business". I believe he may have a better career as a politician considering he has never run a business effectively. Personally, I wouldn't let him get his hands on my monopoly game money. NatGeo you guys need to do some background checks before buying a reality show.


______________________Reference
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/church-rescue/articles/meet-the-church-hoppers/
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/04/moopigs-church-of-beach-easter-eve-2010.html

Sunday, November 24, 2013

MooPig Church of the Beach Department :: "Church Report Card"


[Pictures LINK]


MooPig Wisdom: MooPig's Church of the Beach :: Easter Eve 2010: "We are always committed when we start a new thing; and always uncover some revelations from our hospital beds. As often the case, our upstart, in-house discussions so far have invariably ended in fine strands of sifting Sand; like sand in an hour glass.

As many grains of sand there are on the beach, there are as many denominations. We will stick to main stream churches for method of liturgy for worship of Christ by congregating humans. We noticed right away that our History of Churches is actually History of Churches Splitting, and less about good will.

As you might have known, we advertise MooPig is enemy of bombast. However, it is revolutionary that we at MooPig A-and-E with unanimous aplomb decide that bombast does in fact have a place in our simulations of Church of the Beach formats. We have come to realize that bombast in its rawest form serves skeletal ambitions like War and Faith. So, bombast is our friend in this newest buonaventure, as ludicrous as that is. (Pat Darnell. April 03, 2010. LINK ) ... "

That was PART ONE ...

'via Blog this'

Christian Church Report Card
Retrieved by Pat Darnell  |  Nov 21, 2013  |  Bryan TX

This is PART TWO ...

In an honest evaluation, will some churches rise above other churches? We at MooPig Church of the Beach Department don't know the answer. What does stand out is church growth versus church decline. Numbers today, and the ability to count those numbers, indicate that some churches have reached their peak in membership, while others are still waxing or waning in church-o-sphere.

MooPig's ideal church would be found on a grassy plain that is bordered on one side with bluffs and hills, and on the other side by the ocean. Ideally there would stand a stone precipice, that is both weather proof rugged, while pleasantly pedestrian, surrounded by a garden, near the beach.

Then we would hope that the worship and praise time in this idyllic church would result in edification with visions in mind, heart and soul.  Critics would be welcomed, the minister would speak of the true Word of Christ in a concert of prayer. Money would not be the root of stewardship. And a lot more fantasizing about our ideal church results in an "impossible church."

Most all other institutions have empirical data collected to describe their existence. Why don't churches have report cards? But if MooPig is to start such a standard for church comparisons, what we first need is what we found at this one site:

Church Growth Research Graphs and Statistics: "We compared over 1,103 churches for 15 years to what constitutes a healthy church from our other research. The churches surveyed and tracked include reports from 23 denominations. Said earlier research pointed to 44 significant growth factors. We then complied and compared growth and failure rates: 44 Church Growth Principles that are Real and Work!"

'via Blog this'

MooPig Church of the Beach Department asks the question "Are churches growing or declining?" First we need a standard so we can measure church performance. Here nicely are 44 Principles that work nicely for us. These principles apply to Biblical Churches, which means the goings on of the church is based on Bible scriptures.

We unabashedly present this 44 Principles from the cited source:

Forty-four Proven and Effective Biblical Church Growth Principles that Work! Ideas to consider: (Romans 12:18; 14:18-19; Ephesians 4:3; Hebrews 12:14)

 1. The number one reason for church growth is the preaching ability of the pastor. (Luke 3:1-7)

 2. The number one reason why people stop coming to your church is conflict and gossip! (James 3:5-6)

 3. The number two reason that people leave a church is poor "people skills" of the pastor and/or leadership, because they do not manage the conflicts and gossip! These poor "people skills" will cause the majority of conflicts between that pastor and the people. (Matthew 5:9)

 4. The Bible must be taught in such a way that it is real and can be applied to the lives and situations of the people. You are to equip and disciple people, not just in the basics of the faith, but also in how to be Christians in their families, work, and relationships. They must be taught how to be effective Christians ... (Psalm 119:9-12)

5. Preach holiness, how to worship, how to deal with sin, how to relate to one another, and how to love one another, while modeling it yourself! Evangelism, stewardship, and discipleship come out of these! As people are transformed, they can be taught and motivated. (Jeremiah 33:6; Romans 7:12; Galatians 3)

6 . The best growing churches in the world have solid Biblical preaching at their core. These churches do not water down the Gospel so much that you cannot see the lifted cross! They do not overemphasize the seeker and ignore discipleship!

 7. Real, heartfelt, God exalting adoration must be the focus of the worship service. It must never lift up the leaders or be a performance to entertain. It is God who is the audience and we are the people who are to praise and glorify Him! ... Remember, the congregation is the performer, the worship team is the leader, and God is the audience! Don't mix these up! This is where all of the church growth and spiritual growth principles come to their focal point--the reason for discipleship, and maturity.... (Psalm 138:1-4)

 8. You must have a well thought out, empowered vision and mission statement with a clearly defined purpose, and strategies on what God has called you to do and be. It must be real and authentic, and you must be willing to act on it. It is one thing to write it out, but another thing to act it out ... (Hebrews 11:1-2)

 9. Teach and model passionate spirituality. The Christian life is not meant to be dry and mundane. Even the Puritans were vibrant, just read their writings! Your job is to convince the people in your church to grow beyond just doing their duty to achieving spiritual passion and conviction. (Phil. 3:7-11)

 10. The training, discipling, recognition, and encouragement of the church are critical roles for the pastor. If the senior pastor feels he does not have the gifts and abilities to equip and train others to do ministry, then he needs to build a team around him that does! If the training is not done, the church will fail! ... (Romans 7:4-6; 1 Corinthians 10:14-16; 12; Ephesians 4:9-16)

 11. Have a system of pastoral care to train your staff and leaders to immediately respond when they hear of a church member, especially another leader ... or someone in their family with a pastoral need or emergency. Assign a key person to be in change by 24-hour shifts. Have a contact list and trained deacons or care workers to be ready to act when the need arises.... We all need support and care! Make sure you have caring people to be there in a timely manner! (1 Corinthians 13:1-8; Colossians 4:5; 1 Timothy 3:14-15; Hebrews 12:14-15)

 12. Confront sin, evil, and heresy in the church immediately! The leadership must put down conflict quickly, whether it involves political agendas, the color of the carpet, how to say an offertory prayer, what songs to sing, or who is to be in leadership. The church must move in purpose and unity. This is tough, but possible! (Philippians 2:14)

 13. The church must be willing to spend at least one-third of its resources of time, talent, and money in outreach and missions. (Psalm 90:1-2)

 14. Political agendas that are contrary to God's Word and Will are the second biggest disruption to the church! (John 13:35)

 15. The church should strive to be effective. The best way to do this is by following the precepts of Scripture. We can organize the church by mobilizing the people according to their Spiritual Gifts! So few churches do this, even though it is so Scripturally clear! (Romans 12)

 16. The church can achieve the extraordinary when the people serve in their area of their giftedness in a team manner. The quarrels and apathy will dry up as the energies are redirected and channeled in a Godly way. ... (1 Corinthians 12-14)

 17. Good Biblical teaching and preaching will provide the Holy Spirit with fuel that energizes people and facilitates growth. The biggest growing churches are the ones who preach the Word with power, conviction, and in truth, such as Calvary Chapel (Acts 2:17-39)!

 18. The leadership must have a real genuine sense and modeling of being Christ's servant, and the people in their care as His children. This is Servant Leadership Development. (Galatians 2:20-21; Ephesians 4:11-13)

 19. Leaders of growing churches empower the people in their care. They do not see or use volunteers just as helpers, but as the tools and the prime resources with which to glorify God, and enablers of the goals of missions and needs to be reached. They do this by encouragement, training, and organization, all centered to have the people of God growing in and receiving the Spirit in order to reach the full potential that God has for them. If a pastor, coach, or key supervisor gives special recognition and encouragement even once, that leader and/or volunteer will usually remain very faithful and loyal to the church! (Romans 12; John 4:23; Colossians 1:24-29; 1 Timothy 4:15-16)

 20. The leadership must be able to steer the church through rough white waters! (See our articles on Conflict Resolution, Gossip, and Hypocrisy, and Matthew 18)

21 . The best plans and calls of the Lord will stall out due to conflict! God's voice is the first one muted--read the book of Amos! The Holy Spirit cannot work effectively when ill will and ill desires are running the roost. You must drop to your collective knees and pray for revival. That will work! However, church growth, spiritual or numerical, will never work in an atmosphere of conflict! (Philippians 1:6-8)

 22. The best way to deal with conflict is to combat it through love. When people know that you love them and will listen to them, it is difficult for them to be mad. Love, indeed, covers a multitude of sins! (Proverbs 10:12 1 Peter 4:8)

 23. Warning: do not agree when you do not! (Proverbs 9:8; 17:27-28; 26:20; 3 John 9-12)

 24. Be careful about taking on too many negative people! Spread the load out. Delegate. There is only so much you can take, so guard your own heart too! (Proverbs 4:23)

 25. If you want people to like you, then be nice to them! Interesting people are interesting because they are interested in others! People like people who like them, so be kind, thoughtful, listen, be polite, and do not forget to smile. Make sure you are real, for if you are not, then you are in the wrong position or profession! You must enjoy people and be interested in them to be a good leader or pastor. Being prideful and/or obnoxious only serves Satan! (James 1:2; Colossians 3:13)

 26. Sometimes people just will not like you if you are modeling Christ, and some do not like to be led to Scriptural principles. These people are happy in their will and desires, and will not like the Fruits of the Spirit working around them. They are the weeds in the wheat. Let those people go, and focus on the ones whose hearts are after His! (Romans 16:17-18; Galatians 1:10; Titus 3:9-11)

 27. Listening, without arguing or defending yourself, is extremely important! This requires prayer and self-discipline. If you cannot do it, you may be in the wrong profession. Have someone do it, just get it done! Your task is not to persuade people to accept your view, but to communicate Biblical precepts and get them to catch it! You are to make them feel heard. When they feel they are listened to, then their defenses will come down and relationships can be built. Then it will be a pleasure to lead them. They will respect and love you more, and will be more likely to be led by your goals. (Romans 8:31; Ephesians 4:25-29; James 3:1-12)

 28. If, and when you use surveys, make sure you are determining between perceived felt needs versus real needs and what God is calling you to! Otherwise, you will take your church down a rabbit trail away from God's call! (Ephesians 5:8-21)

 29. A leader must be willing to make improvements and change, even if it steps on the toes of others, but stay firm and be uncompromising to the Word. At the same time, allow people to be in the process with a listening ear, so they can catch the new direction and take ownership of it. (Colossians 4:7-8; Philippians 4:8-9)

 30. Are you and your leadership learning and growing in community with one another, willing to go beyond your prejudices and fears and embrace what Christ has for you? (Colossians 1:24-29; 1 Timothy 3:14-15)

 31. A church's spiritual health is a matter of focus. To develop an action plan, to change the pew-sitting church into the Christ powered church, you have to go beyond talking about it and actually do something! This requires a focus on Christ that turns into passion and conviction. That passion must come from growth in Christ. If it does not, you will be working for yourselves and not for the Lord and Creator of the Universe! The focus must be on Christ, not the church. That focus determines whether you have a survival mentality or a service mentality. Do you have a church filled with competing agendas, or one with a purpose that is poured out to our Lord? (Philippians 3:10)

 32. A church must disciple, and small groups are the best means to do this. Arrange, train, and lead your small group leaders to teach the Bible clearly, going beyond just discussing passages to applying it to their daily lives. Make sure these groups focus on prayer, allowing healthy interaction, so people feel free to express issues, ask questions, and discuss the concerns of life, as the leadership encourages as well as teaches. (Psalm 119:9-12; Ecclesiastes 4:8-10; Matthew 6:33-34; 28:18-20)

 33. Teach and model Discipleship, so that personal disciplines are in the Word, and you are filled with excitement and wonder, willing to train, share, and/or teach others what you have learned. (Matthew 28:18-20)

 34. If the primary emphasis is on maintaining your building, or on getting more people involved, or on money, this is sure evidence that the focus is on survival. Do the people have a willingness to serve? If so, this is the greatest gauge of a Christ centered church! That willingness to model Christ in the community will only come out when it is done to others in the church first! That focus can only come out with a servant-focused attitude! (Matthew 28:18-20)

 35. Pastors, who are real, and authentic, lead healthy churches. This builds trust. Real, authentic leaders will never grandstand, make up problems, or blame others, but will take responsibility, and tell their stories honestly. In wisdom, they will disclose truth, tempered with listening. Be open, and encourage the other leaders to do so too. Authentic leaders can be vulnerable and sensitive at the right times in the right places, and yet wise enough not to give out too much so as to be perceived as week and needy. Real Christians will forgive you for your mistakes when you are honest! (Acts; James 5:16; 1 John 1:8-10)

 36. All too often in the American church, we try to offer people community without cause. The Seeker sensitive, watered down gospel says nothing and inspires people to do nothing. Without a real cause, the church is just another civic club, such as the Kiwanis or Lions. We have to teach the transformation that only Christ gives. (Ephesians 4:11-13)

 37. Find out what the image of your church is in the community. To do this, go door to door, and ask people how you can pray for them, then come together as a church to pray for them. While you are asking them for prayer requests, ask if they know about your church and what you can do to improve. By doing this, you will get a feel about how the community sees you and then you can know what areas need improvement and work. This is a great project for all ages, especially youth groups! This prayer task can also be turned into a very effective way to reach out to people and transition into a "Lighthouse of Prayer." (Matthew 10)

 38. Communicating the gospel in a postmodern context can make us feel forced to compete with the entertainment industry. Do not let this happen. Most people are over stimulated already, and do not always need the PowerPoint and multimedia show. They need reality. Use media as a tool if you need to, or if your people like it, but ask and find out! (I personally love PowerPoint, but I was on staff at a church that did not, so I did not use it.) We cannot compete with Hollywood. Furthermore, we do not have to! We have the power and presence of the living God! (Isaiah 55:6-11; Jeremiah 31:31-34; Romans 6:3-11)

 39. Commitment to loving and caring relationships is essential! Loving relationships that are sincere, real, and practical from the work of Christ in your church will be the quintessential factor that will bring people in far better than any evangelism campaign could ever do! People do not want to just hear about Christ as much as they want to see and experience how Christian love really works. They can do this through you! Remember that Christ lived and taught the principle that people respond when we reach out to them. (Mark 12:28-31; John 3:22; 13:35; 1 Corinthians 13)

 40. Organize a prayer base in your church. See our Prayer Channel for details. See the article in our prayer channel, Leading the Church to be People of Prayer. (John 13:34-35; 20:19-23; Romans 12:1-21)

 41. For successful evangelism, the key is to focus the church's evangelistic efforts on the questions and needs of non-Christians. Find the need that is not being fulfilled and fulfill it, such as a parent support group, a daycare or an after school program. (2 Corinthian 2:3-4; Colossians 1:24-29; 1 Peter 3:15)

 42. Do not be afraid to preach Biblical stewardship and how to handle money. If you do not know how, acquire resources to help you. Stewardship, as well as generosity, is a sure sign of the health of your church. A stifled church, no matter how many are attending, will always have financial problems, where a small, poor church with real conviction and purpose will usually have enough! (Proverbs 3:9-10)

 43. Make sure your programming is appropriate and needed. (Philippians 3:12-14)

 44. A healthy church is prayerful in all of the aspects of church life and ministry. They are reliant upon God's power and the authority of His Word! (John 15:4-5)

 Copyright 1988, 1998, 2000 Richard J. Krejcir Into Thy Word Ministries www.intothyword.com






NEXT MONTH: PART THREE ... This is Grueling!


___________________________Reference
http://www.intothyword.org/apps/articles/?articleid=36571
http://70030.netministry.com/apps/articles/?articleid=32791&columnid=3881
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/03/moopig-earnings-tracking-department.html
http://blog.webchurchconnect.com/2013/02/13/2013-christianity-growth-us/
http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_by_number_of_members
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/04/moopigs-church-of-beach-easter-eve-2010.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/01/moopig-snappy-come-backs-department-100.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2011/06/moopig-pre-rapture-preparation.html

Thursday, December 13, 2012

MooPig 12 Days of Doom Prep :: DAY FOUR " TEOTWAWKI"

Re-framed by Pat Darnell  |  Dec 12, 2012  |  Bryan TX
http://youtu.be/_eyFiClAzq8


 ... It's the end of the world (as we know it) There's a popular reverse acronym among the "prepper" community that goes right along with a famous R.E.M. song that is topping apocalyptic playlists everywhere: TEOTWAWKI, or "the end of the world as we know it." That, along with SHTF, or "s--- hits the fan," are emblematic of prepper philosophy. Be honest: Apocalypse seems kind of exciting, in a way - CNN.com: "We've noticed a few sarcastic story comments, but some readers seem fascinated. The apocalypse has left cultural footprints." ... (Nicole Saidi, CNN. updated 9:39 AM EST, Fri December 7, 2012. HERE) "

  'via Blog this'
" ... Robb Willer, an associate professor of sociology at University of California, Berkeley, studies political and religious psychology. He says the economy might be a factor, but other reasons include the rise of evangelical Christianity in the past 20 years. ...
" ... Willer says he's been thinking a lot about the feeling of powerlessness that we get in the face of something undeniably powerful. Some would use the word "awe" to describe the sensation, and it affects how we view the world.
MEANWHILE
iReporter balefire97 said folks just need to relax:

"Being born in 1979, this will be the 49th doomsday I have lived through. If memory serves me right, the last 48 weren’t very memorable, nor accurate, but that may go without saying, so I predict this one is going to be equally uninteresting and equally false. Tinfoil hats for everyone!" he wrote.

And of course we make it into a shopping event...
" ... Some customers specifically mention December 21 when they come in, says owner Joel Dreifuss [San Diego military surplus store called Bargain Center]. He feels that he's been selling about 50% more survival-oriented items during the past six to eight weeks. MREs, water purification systems and storage supplies are the most popular items, as well as getaway backpacks and emergency supplies. ... "
Folks, it is all happening right now, as we speak.



___________________________Reference
http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/07/living/apocalypse-fascination/index.html?eref=rss_mostpopular&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_mostpopular+%28RSS%3A+Most+Popular%29
http://youtu.be/_eyFiClAzq8
http://ireport.cnn.com/blogs/ireport-blog/2012/12/01/the-hoax-that-brought-nasa-to-cnn-ireport
http://ireport.cnn.com/about.jspa
http://books.google.com/books/about/Terror_and_Apocalypse_Psychological_Unde.html?id=RvSc56L0X2QC
http://youtu.be/BWAK0J8Uhzk
http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/07/opinion/miller-maya-apocalypse/index.html
http://ireport.cnn.com/topics/7233

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Lists




B.B.King, Big Mama Thornton, Taj Mahal, J.J.Cale, Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Bruce Springsteen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Stevie Ray & Jimmie Vaughan, Magic Sam, John Lee Hooker, John Cephas, Big Bill Broonzy, Houndog Taylor, Elvis Presly, John Mooney, Professor Longhair, Skip James, Son House, Bob Brozman, The Band, Tom Waits, Lais, Nick Cave, Björk, Marc Ribot, Rolling Stones, Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton, Willie Dixon, Son House (I&II), Bob Marley, James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, The Beatles,Canned Heat, Otis Redding, Sam and Dave, Mahalia Jackson, Pete Seeger, John Mayall, Peter Green, Aretha Franklin, Neil Young, Alvin Youngblood Heart, Mississippi John Hurt, Sister Rosetta Thorpe, Leadbelly, Mississippi Fred McDowell .... what else??? Un lucano, Bob Dylan, Los Lobos, Tolo Marton, John Spencer Blues Explosion
Eric Bibb Sherman Robertson, Howard Glazer, Burnley Festival, W.C. Handy Awards The Barcodes, Dennis Rollins, Lights Out By Nine, Randy McAllister, Ian Siegal, Andrew 'Junior Boy' Jones, Jimmie Vaughan, Michael Pickett, Charles Walker, Gregg Wright, Eric Burdon, Robben Ford, Gregg Wright, Nu Blues, Bob Hall, Rod Demick, Dave Davies, Kyla Brox, Spencer Davis, the Blues Archive Giles, Dorris Henderson, Ray Dorset, Ian Briggs, Heaven Davis, Sean Webster Giles Hedley, Rory Block, The Blues Burglars, The Elevators Steve Cropper, Rocky Athas, Linda Hall and Richie Milton and Julian Piper Steve Phillips, Watermelon Slim, Russell 'Hitman' Alexander, Jonathan Kalb and Sons Of The Delta Earl Green, Brian Auger, Toby Walker, Mojo Buford, Richard Studholme W.C. Handy Awards Eddie Martin, Ian Jennings, Huey Lewis and Otis Taylor Sharrie Williams, Paul Cox, Hamilton Loomis and Kevin Thorpe Tom McGuinness, Bad Influence, The Charlie Morris Band Mem Shannon, Robert Cray, Chris Rea, Frank & Eddie Thomas, Keith B. Brown
Eric Bibb, Robin Trower, Suzy Martell and Bad Town Blues Ruby Turner, Jim Mercer, Simon Kirke, Smokey Hormel, Manuel Galban, The Razers,n The 100 Club, Station House, Rollo Markee & the Tailshakers, Helium Soul, funkydory, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Joe Bonnamassa, Nigel Mooney Chris Farlowe, Robert Hokum and Monica Madgwick Paul Jones, Tom McGuinness, Dave Kelly, Gary Fletcher and Rob Townsend, Gary Moore, Maggie Bell, The Stumble and Larry Garner Sam Brown, Ginger Baker, Bettye Lavette and Mo' Indigo, Jeremiah Marques and the Blue Aces, Derrin Nauendorf, Lonesome Road Crossroads Blues Agency - Tim Hain, Alvin Youngblood Hart, Blues Awards, Matthew Skoller, Taste, Christine Collister, Sam Moore, Little Jenny & The Blues Beans,Michael Roach, Catfish Keith, Paul Long, Walter Trout, Colin Earl, Simon Prager, Andy Weaver

Friday, January 01, 2010

The Last Roundup will involve a First-born Collecting all His Siblings

Click on Image if you want to see it larger --

For cryin’ out loud; Position your Personnel to include type-Characters
By Pat Darnell

Did you ever notice that HoolyWood has room for only about eight to twelve personalities? After those are filled, then it is the waiting game for duplicate personalities to have each a turn at the top.
For instance type characters, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, and Ernest Borg-nine of Eight, and Jerry Lewis have a place in this lineup. I figure James Dean, Marlon Brando and James Garner are some other type characters that come to mind. Ginger Rogers, Bette Davis, Lucille Ball and Cher are also distinct leading and supporting types.


In this posting I will prove that modern diversity of human capital plays right into the lap of choosing who does what in your businesses.


Traits run in certain patterns, so says the entire body of knowledge of humanists-ologies -- from horoscopes to Brahmanism, modern psychology to zoology, and Joel Olsteinians to Presbyterians. Hey, I like to check my bio-rhythms, horoscopes and chi weekly, don’t you? Look at Britney's horoscope above. Will she eventually take a major role? I think so; she soon will follow the path of M Monroe and Anna N-Smith.

It turns out, for me Bruno Bettelheim started my whole thing when I ran across his studies on a theory. He states that there are only about eight fairy tale themes in the scope of literature. “Bruno Bettelheim is the author of The Uses of Enchantment, published in 1976, in which he discussed the meaning and importance of fairy tales, such as those collected and published by the Brothers Grimm.


"Bettelheim suggests that if children are allowed to read and interpret these fairy tales in their own way, they will get a greater sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. Bettelheim posits that if children are allowed to read about the trials, tribulations, successes, and failures encountered by the heroes of fairy tales, this will better prepare them for their own lives.” (Why iki peed ya)

So who has grown up reading a fariy tale and replaced Marilyn for instance, if only for a brief time? Out of the trillions who have tried including Jane Mansfield -- Anna Nic-Smith had a good run at it. The comic tragedy of the role is almost now an urban legend. Who will be the next? I guess it is Britney Spears seen here on her way back to rehab. Too bad Marilyn didn't have re-hab back then.
Elvis has so many impersonators, but I suspect Nicolas Cage is the understudy who holds the closest Elvis replacement proposition value. Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley were married for three months, shown below.



Finding a unique character is difficult to very near impossible for speculative casting directors. Collective conscience of the movie-going customers ranges very far developmentally from 8 to 80 years old.




Casting a character who defies gravity of an established role character is death for the casting crew in movie productions. So replacements must be blatant tributes, or subtle copies, or the movie project fails. Procurement of personas fitting the eight to twelve characters recognized by the public is a good model for human resources in growing businesses.



I continually find this tricky natural pattern of personas has merit and can hold its own in all general groups. For instance Presidential Cabinet, average families, kindergartens and daycares, Santa's Helpers, sevens of dwarves, drug cartels, Knights Templar... oh the list is endless full of sub-groups and tell-tale with the disambiguitions of inclusive types that are duplicitous, yet necessary. The key is for the business owner to not try to duplicate him or her self, rather hire type characters for the major roles in the business. Your C-Team might be led by a personality completely opposite of oneself.

So pardon if I ask:
“Who is going to replace Hugh Hefner?’ Our latent Midwesterner playboy persona is an Octogenarian and cannot last for very many more decades. Who is waiting in the wings to take over the Mansion? If you look at recent past earnings Playboy is losing its margin in the periodical readership game, for several years past now --

Well, the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ guy is in jail; the guy I work next to at my night job thinks he is two sit-ups from being Hef’s groomed heir, but is the average dork-wannabe playboy.



It turns out all the other playboys are semi-octogenarians too. That is why I think the only qualified replacement will be one who is amicable to women, tall, original, skinny and young:

i.e. Snoop Dogg.

aka Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr.[1] (born October 20, 1971), better known professionally as Snoop Dogg and previously Snoop Doggy Dogg, (Ibid. Why iki...)



A FAQ rises to one's lips: Who did Hefner choose as his frontispiece in 1953? Playboys Remember and covet?

“The first issue, published in December 1953, did not carry a date, as Hefner was unsure whether there would be a second issue. The first centerfold was Marilyn Monroe, although the picture used had originally been taken for a calendar, rather than for Playboy. The first issue was an immediate sensation; it sold out within a matter of weeks. Known circulation was 53,991 (Source: Playboy Collector's Association Playboy Magazine Price Guide). The cover price was 50¢. Copies of the first issue in Mint to Near Mint condition fetched over $5,000 in 2002.” (why iki peed ya)

-- BUT --

"In 2005, Hugh attempted to create an Indian version of Playboy for India, which would feature South Asian women and Indian pop culture articles, but no nudity. He wanted to have Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai on the cover of the first issue. The magazine was rejected." (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005005/bio)

I ask: Did Hefner forget the original tapestry of persona that kicks off a good rag? I think so. I disavow talk that Aishwarya Rai is secretly dating George W Bush, even if Jeb and Neil Bush are covering for their brother president. So, Hef blew the cover model choice for India; no match for M Monroe caliber.


Conclusion: Small Business Guide to Personnel Choices
I have recurring fantasies of owning my own company, and then incorporating with employees representing certain personalities who fill key leadership roles. Oh, you too?
For instance I covet the following personalities for my corp:
  • My Sales and Marketing team would be led by the VP that would have been a rock ‘n roll band leader, or Hobo Band, at one time. I mean a band that had gone town to town across Missouri playing Honky Tonks where they split the door with the owners.
  • My CEO would be someone who taught Kindergarten in public school, preferably from Hispanic neighborhood.
  • My CIO, chief information officer, would have to be a Veteran of Foreign War, preferably disabled.
  • My human resources VP would come from underpaid teaching and music background, such as an Orchestra or Band instruction.
  • And my CFO, chief financial officer must be an Italian woman, or German nun, who has raised seven of her own children, and some children for others, who now has some time to pursue her own career in her late fifties.
Hey! I'm an Equal Opportunity Employer, get real! > pd out
References
The actor (Will Smith) met up with the princess of bollywood, Aishwarya Rai and gave her a detailed narration of the story and plot of his film; he then asked her if she would play the lead role in the film. He lavished a lot of praises on her talent and appeal in the west. According to sources Miss Rai was to star opposite Smith in Hitch but was unable to do so as she was busy with Gurinder Chadha’s film, Bride and Prejudice at the time. Aishwarya will definitely give this offer some serious thought.

Another reason for Aishwarya Rai’s heart to swell with pride is that American President George Bush would like to meet her. Miss Rai has received an invitation from Prime Minister Manmohan Singh for the prestigious power lunch with the US President at the Taj Palace in New Delhi. Following the lunch invite came a dinner invitation from President Abdul Kalam too. http://www.bollywoodmantra.com/1084_will-smith-and-george-bush-fond-of-aishwarya-rai.html
Anna Nic-Smith, CEO, CFO, CIO, Hefner, Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, Nicolas Cage, personnel, SMB, Snoop Dog, VP
SMB, Small and Medium Business Personnel Choices

the last roundup
Labels: Anna Nic-Smith, CEO, CFO, CIO, Hefner, Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, Nicolas Cage, personnel, SMB, Snoop Dog, VP

*
*
*

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Rock and Roll is....

Don Knots and the Cat-Scene-Investigators wrote,

Rock and Roll is similar to Fugu Chef: Perfection meets Total Destruction

Rock and roll has a unique quality in that it can be listened to and learned by generally all musically inclined persons… compared to repeating a classical music that is perceived as difficult to play… more likely to hear Rock at the park, VFW and now most of the time on Country Western.

Therefore, as rock and roll is most often played at get together’s, [not excluding fashionable fondue at the Fonda's] it should be defined by its ability to be played at group gatherings of gregarious teenagers and young adults, say from 15 to 24.

Teens and Children and affirmative action young adults who think they are being subversive when they are at parties. Developing minds could therefore free-associate what they perceive subversive with what is heard by tribute bands at the prom, frat party, boom box at the office party, radio, or DJ driven Sock Hop Disco Ball show your armpits dance… besides the best Thespians are the ones who dress like young women.

Social gatherings where-when, more likely, some form of social intoxication is being used despite banishment from rules of the gathering, age and stealthy delivery system of liquids or pills…

Rock and Roll is very similar to Fugu Chef delivery:

I noticed that the chef removed the fugu from a clear, plastic container. … Then like a fugu samurai Chef Fuji unfurled his knife roll and unsheathed his …Daring. Different. Delicious.

Dec 10, 2005 Eat Fugu or Die Tryin’. Fugu Sashi. The Hump Restaurant. Santa Monica, CA.

Friday, October 31, 2008

OBAMAWEEN and the Obamanoids

:comment to Alex Velaquez, on the following -- Posted by: Denice | Saturday, October 25, 2008 at 09:46 AM Obtw, if I were you, I would be very careful at opening your emails, once the obamanoids get a sniff of your vid.

"OBAMANOIDS" -- raucous caucus there Denice...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Retrieved by PD, 10.25.2008: at
Atlas Shrugs Blog HERE)
Dear Pamela,
It's a weird occurrence today,... me writing to you (and, I must confess, a handful of your fellow writers as well). I was a libertarian for quite a long time before this election year. I did my thing,... clung to the middle on many social issues and used the constitution as my catch-all shield against extreme liberalism and (to be honest) anything else that I didn't really like that well. But, unfortunately for me, I started reading many of your blogs with mild amusement at times, and mild jealousy at others (all wannabe writers feel this I suspect)... all of these thoughts pocketed like Swiss political ideology queso,... with holes of logic that ran through the conservative philosophy, found their way straight into my own worldview. It was undeniable...

I didn't yet know it,... but I was becoming republican.

Now,... under normal circumstances,... I admit... I would simply turn on my Xbox 360 and see if I could find a way to hack the "Rock the Vote" channel being showcased, or maybe go out with my wife to dinner and discuss how "unusual" and "interesting" peoples' opinions have become these days ...

Fate, however,... has ... intervened,... :

1-We were in fact grownups. Oh sure, before Ace came along we had played at being "cool", going out, drinking cocktails with names that are unspeakable in decent company, and singing karaoke until the audience's noses were bleeding,... but really, underneath it all, we were proud, happy, stay-at- home and chill-out,... parents.

2-We were politically conservative. You see all of a sudden, it actually became important to us that the American Dream be a tangible, ... these things that define our roles and character and affect colleagues, friends, and relationships on a day-to-day basis,... all of it,... from the gas we pumped into our car, to the late nights at the office,... it didn't seem so ephemeral to us anymore. ... vacations to places where we would all learn new things and our son could step proudly on our shoulders and BE that next generation. ...They were God, and Country and being part of something bigger than one's self. They were fun and laughter and a great big wide country that bursts at the seams with adventure and technology and history and culture,... a culture all its own. All of this,.. it all became,... well, just... REAL.

3-We were downright appalled. I will say it again. Appalled. The fact the Senator Barack Obama has made it as far as he has with virtually no experience on the world stage is strange. ...It just shows how difficult the "sales pitch" was to begin with. The fact that only a limited number of people seem to be using the tried n' true, job-interview, best-qualified person-for-the-job litmus test as the best way to go about "hiring" a president,... it is BEYOND illogical. And,... (ahemm) it is ALL downright SUSPICIOUS (now I sound like a libertarian again don't I! ;) ) But most of all, we were appalled... at ourselves.

And so, with my crazy-producer's hat in my hand, I sat down at the little four legged fold out table from Wal-Mart, parked serenely like a "2008 : A Space-Wasting Odyssey",... serenely in the family-room nerve center of our baby-gear infested apartment, amid "new-parents-live-here" festooned, clutter-cubes dotting the carpet landscape, and peeping from every nook,... (think Johnny Depp in the scene from BLOW with boxes of money,... but instead of money, think diapers)....
  • I sat... and started writing out a silly song.
  • That song turned into a recording.
  • That recording begat a series of drawings.
  • Those drawings became a video. That video was posted to YouTube 3 days ago.
Now let me first say,... we did not KNOW that this video was going to receive the amount of traffic that it has. It is silly. Obnoxious. Downright campy in places. The music (to quote one of the reviews) sounds like bad 80's rock)... and (again to quote) apparently people "love it".

"Love it" to the tune of almost 35,000 views in three days (as of this writing).

And so, I thought to myself... can a stupid, meaningless YouTube video really change anyone's mind? Or is "spoof" (as an animated art form,... and I use the word "art" loosely... though Lorne Michaels might disagree with me...), is spoof more of "window" onto ourselves as Americans? Or, more personally, a window onto the past "me" (not that I ever would have voted for Barack,... but you get the gist).

So after some pondering, I thought perhaps I would simply send a note (and at this point, a long-winded one!) to some of the people who got me here in the first place, the writers whose internet WordPress's I "lounged" over lazily, during a time when politics (to me) were an endeavor for, older, wiser, crankier people who wore darker, more expensive suits than me,... and where opinions were merely jagged stones that were thrown grumpily into a small pond,... where the strongest of arms and the random coalescence of merging ripples would always (and sometimes seemingly randomly) prevail over others. Well,... I am proud to say,... that age for me is over.

I am an American. I do NOT support Barack Obama. I threw a stone in the pond. And I invite you to give this particular stone a view...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THzaZmqlaAg (OBAMAWEEN)

Should you like it or wish to critique it, please feel free as I respect you as the one of the "serious" minds in the room (but really, how does that sound coming from an indie film producer? ;).

But whatever the case may be, God Bless You for Fighting Hard for what's right, even when guys like me did nothing for so many years.

God Bless the First Amendment (which still gives silly filmmakers the right to churn out animated spoofs named "Obamaween").

AND

God Bless America.
I don't know what will happen on November 4th,... but I will see you and some of your colleagues on the other side, ready,... with a stone in my hand and a pile of them sitting beside me.

Very Respectfully,
C. Alex Velazquez
(Atlas Shrugs Says: I have to say with all of the fascinating email I receive, generally wonderful stuff from my readers, this was my favorite today. The video is great - the drawings even better. 40,000 views in a couple of days? That's damn good - usually that requires a bikini :)

Blog Archive

SUNDAY :: bishop FM 105.9 Auckland



[Go To SOURCE]

Gary Grainger LIVE BluesShow from Auckland, 6 to 8PM LondonTime .... you listen too.

DISCLAIMER

: It is PROHIBITED by law to use our service or the information it provides to make decisions about consumer credit, employment, insurance, tenant screening, or for any other purpose subject to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, 15 USC 1681 et seq. MooPig Wisdom does not provide consumer reports and is not a consumer reporting agency. The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use this information as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. MooPig Wisdom does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through our website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. So dip your balls in turpentine and get rid of your own fleas before calling me out.

Ask Someone Who Cares -- SUCH AS SUCH MULCH

To report any abusive, obscene, defamatory, racist,
homophobic or threatening comments, or anything that may violate any applicable laws, please click
--ask_someone_who cares -- ASWC to report with pertinent details.

Anyone posting such material will be immediately mesquitte blackened over a very hot pit fire down at C and J's BBQ on Harvey-Elmo-Weedon Road, and permanently removed from all servers, its IP
owner will be locked in a small room with back issues of
The ECONOMIST, and one scratchy re-mix 8-track tape of Steely Dan's first album...
IP addresses might be recorded to aid us in enforcing these conditions, that is if we cared.

A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"

A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"
GAZA by Pat Darnell for the Age of Attritionally Challenged

Email MooPigster Customers' Alert

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CywR3ouHKP4
If you receive this post via email, you notice it is mostly 'blank'.
We at MooPig Surmise, that at this point, one either says:
"WOW, I'm off the hook, and don't have to pay any attention to that pesky MooPig STUFF!!"
-- OR --
"Hey, where is it ...?"
The answer is: "IT IS A youTUBE presentation"... and you will now click on the http above to go see this modern miracle of technology.

MooPig Wisdom is Your Life-Line to Parody:
24\7 -- We accept all Calls from Contestants

MPW Unique Value Proposition, UVP
Shards of Evidence ... Opinion and Editorial ... We Blunderbuss indigestible Ersatz of Readers' and Writers' ... Explain Strategies of quasi-firms... and some not so quasi ... 110% Proof
One Only
Advertisement Only One
Publisher of Satire ... Enemy to Bombast ... Very Swank ... More Fun to Write than to Read

MooPig Wisdom is online to provide spring board for writers.
MooPig is the Writers' Writer that encourages voice, content, and style. PD

Bill Gaines said it

Bill Gaines said it
"My staff and contributors create the magazine," declared Gaines. "What I create is the atmosphere."