MooPig's Church of the Beach :: Easter Eve 2010

Church of the Beach
by Pat Darnell

Bryan TX 04.03.2010  |  Christian-like worship in the USA interests MooPig's Arts and Entertainment Department, or MooPig A-and-E. We present the Church of the Beach. Setting aside revenue, which you can help with; just send some dough on your paypal accounts, to review the great trials and tribulations of Faiths, and Methods of Faith, throughout our brave country.

We set our sights on Past and Future. With so much antiquity bearing down on recent modern society, MooPig feels conditional need to report on edifice of Sunday Worship for at least the next two years, until December 2012.

We take a leap, and think candid, first hand reportage while attending churches’ liturgies and performances serve s our effort. Can MooPig A-and-E keep an unbiased point of view? We feel this is conditional because it is not quantitative observance by survey of the subjective nature of Sunday Worship. But, yes MooPig is up for the challenges we present ourselves; and for others. Of course as always -- do feel free to jump in at any time with comments, or with your erectile dysfunction solicitations and homeopathic solutions.

It turns out; there are obvious limitations to pay attention to, though MooPig A-and-E Department still finds it too cool of a subject not to delve.


Therefore, we turn to “Burning Man” type stuff, and its counterpart, post-Modern multi-purpose, multi-use “Kit Churches’...” a couple of crucibles with stand-offish natures.

We are always committed when we start a new thing; and always uncover some revelations from our hospital beds. As often the case, our upstart, in-house discussions so far have invariably ended in fine strands of sifting Sand; like sand in an hour glass.

As many grains of sand there are on the beach, there are as many denominations. We will stick to main stream churches for method of liturgy for worship of Christ by congregating humans. We noticed right away that our History of Churches is actually History of Churches Splitting, and less about good will.

As you might have known, we advertise MooPig is enemy of bombast. However, it is revolutionary that we at MooPig A-and-E with unanimous aplomb decide that bombast does in fact have a place in our simulations of Church of the Beach formats. We have come to realize that bombast in its rawest form serves skeletal ambitions like War and Faith. So, bombast is our friend in this newest buonaventure, as ludicrous as that is.


In kindness to the works that have preceded us through centuries of art, and state of the art edifices, and storied walls for teaching its parishioners, we look at inner workings of Faith and Hope. To promote this we solicit the Works of the post-Latter Day Artist -- Gromhilldegard von Grull -- and his studio of students residing in Galveston, TX.

Celtic Blues artists -- Nomad Hoarders’ Four -- will be interviewed between their gigs to illuminate our understanding of the Churches of post-Modern Latter-than-Sooner Days. Unfortunately we suspect we will have very little control, as we mentioned, when we contact sources to answer our toughest questions.

For instance: “Is this a church that teaches Scripture of the Bible as it describes life and times of Jesus Christ with his message of Good News?”

Such a question we know would make us an outlaw at many Worship venues, and would not further our cause. If, for instance, we were to show up with such questions on a survey card exit poll, we would be ushered off the premises. We have already had that experience at several Orthodox Churches. We intend to be cunning in our approach.

We sincerely want to find nuance, not a brand, which constitutes Sunday Worship and its departure and coming together. We desire a clean spirit and sound mind survey which discovers wit and wisdom found in worship of deity.

However, this ambitious project could send us to Hell; and, for the love of God, that we do not want.


Next Month: Church of the Meadow