MooPig :poop: Department :: "Pet Lovers' Derivatives"

[Picture LINK] "..."You often have to carry a bag of hot poop for many long minutes while running into every attractive opposite-sex acquaintance you have."..."

"Scruffy has to go outside, Junior..."
Martial Mashed Article by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Test for whether one is a bonafide writer or not ... "How many times do you have to look up the difference between 'affect' and 'effect?'"

There are two kinds of people, those who let their pets poop all over, and those who let their pets poop all over but never mention it. I have been both kinds. Unfortunately, our pets' pooping all over affects our long-standing watersheds. See article below.

Are Americans ready to 'effect' martial law on pets pooping all over? Ha! *[Let's see if I did that correctly]*  LINK -- I still can't figure it out.

As a young person I let our Pekingese-Cocker-Spaniel, Baby, poop all over the back yard and just avoided it as I mowed the yard. As a young adult I let our Border Collie poop all over his dog run. I couldn't organize my own wastage's, how could I affectingly manage our pup's waste?

Now after several scat sorties by this blog, I find I am still dilettante, and never will get it through my thick skull that the pets are pooping all over the place. Unfortunately, I have genetically passed on this shortsightedness to my children.

No Poop Fairy, so manage your pets' waste - National Green Living | Examiner.com: "The most effective way for pet owners to limit their pet’s contribution to source water contamination is to simply clean up and dispose of pet waste. As long as the droppings are not mixed with other materials, pet waste should be flushed down the toilet."

"...[I]n Northern Virginia, a dog population of 11,400 is estimated to contribute about 5,000 pounds of solid waste every day and has been identified as a major contributor of bacteria to the stream. Nearly 500 fecal coliform samples have been taken from Four Mile Run and its tributaries since 1990, and about 50 percent of these samples have exceeded the Virginia State water quality standard for fecal coliform bacteria, according to EPA..."

CONCLUSION
Food in; poop out.

____________________Reference
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/affect-effect-grammar.html
http://www.examiner.com/article/no-poop-fairy-so-manage-your-pets-waste
http://www.dogster.com/lifestyle/dog-walking-picking-up-poop-bags

MooPig :poop: Department :: "What 's in it for Me?"

MooPig Trend Spotter 
Re-directed youTube by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

If you be poopin' you can bet that MooPig scatological will be snoopin' and we got your back-side. Benny Hill couldn't have done this commercial as well as she does it. Bovines and all, if it smells you still think you are in Nirvana. What's in it for me is that I don't have to sit on a warm toilet seat after you and also smell your deposits. Warm seats is bad enough.

Girls Don’t Poop – Poopourri.com | Poo~Pourri | Spritz the bowl before you go and no one else will ever know: " Poo-Pourri is a blend of essential oils that virtually eliminates bathroom odors! Our award-winning before-you-go® sprays come in a variety of scents and sizes. "
'via Blog this'




CONCLUSION
Product gets 4.5 flushes out of 5. We LIKE.

___________________________Reference
http://www.poopourri.com/

MooPig Appreciating Art Nano-second :: "Daily Duty"

State-of-the-Art
Re-directed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell |  Jan 18, 2014  |  Bryan TX

Sitting and shitting may be the only thing humanity shares universally with each human doing his own daily bid'ness. Yes, this article could be under MooPig's Department of Scatology, but it is art work of a daily duty shared by all. Have a look.

Artist Paints World Leaders on the Toilet… | artFido's Blog: "Just when you thought you’d seen it all, Italian artist Cristina Guggeri comes along and blows it out of the water with her latest series called Il Dovere Quotidiano, or “The Daily Duty”. In this series, Guggeri sets out to ‘humanize’ the world’s leaders by imaging what they might look like on the toilet."
'via Blog this'

CONCLUSION
Everything has been already done in art, architecture, and life in general.

Depend on MooPig to keep you informed. We will be monitoring all forms of excrement through out the world, and maybe make some charts up, and possibly mash a bunch of articles together to help you in your scatological pursuits. Remember -- we at MooPig will always be better than FOX News! Don't want to set the barre too high now.

EPILOGUE
Things we still want to know:

• Has Bill Gates entered the stage where he locks himself in a Hotel room and doesn't bathe?
• What became of the Westboro Baptist Church media whores?
• Does Jose still work for Kennedy Underground Utilities Company? His job was to find water, no matter where he was.
• If I put Erika Eleniak's picture on this post, will it become a number one in page-views post?
• Why do networks pixel-ate out sponsors on UFC fighters' shorts and shirts when they show reruns of their fights?
• Why does my foot shake when I type? Is that restless leg syndrome? I am, after all, almost 60. 

_____________________________Reference
http://www.artfido.com/blog/artist-paints-world-leaders-on-the-toilet/
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/02/todays-non-syndicated-funnies.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/10/moopig-archaeology-nano-second-ancient.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/08/moopigs-medical-diagnostics-and-health.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2014/06/moopig-poop-department-earth-as-toilet.html

MooPig :poop: Department :: "Earth as a Toilet"

Most Will Shy Away from this Discussion
Mashed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell  |  June 28, 2014  |  Bryan TX

"What is shocking in India is this picture [HERE] of someone practicing open defecation and in the other hand having a mobile phone," said Maria Neira, director of Public Health at the WHO.

We can only imagine what an Indian wedding is like. The dogged truth is that bears do shit in the woods. When you are surrounded by a world of shit, there is still wonderful things all around to look at -- or is there ...?

"... Paris lovers try not to notice the dog poop everywhere, but they have to be careful anyway. In my neighborhood, if you don't have your eyes riveted on the sidewalk as you walk, you will have a nasty surprise on your shoes when you get home. Hundreds of people a year wind up in the hospital after slipping in the dog poop ( LINK) ..."

And then, there are 14 places you can aspire to pee/poop, including the ISS, ski slopes, underwater, and others, according to this article:

"...13. The Ski-Jump Toilet
Japan’s Madarao-Kogen hotel is home to the simulated ski-jump toilet, offering maximum comfort without the harshness of winter: “The cubicles were fully wrapped on all sides, so that the person caught short would have a ski jumper’s view when they were sitting on the loo.” (LINK)..."

[Picture LINK]

This bit started with this article:

One Billion People Still Practise Open Defecation, Endangering Public Health: UN: "Tom Miles GENEVA, May 8 (Reuters) - One billion people worldwide still practise "open defecation" and they need to be told that this leads to the spread of fatal diseases, U.N. experts said on Thursday at the launch of a study on drinking water and sanitation. "'Excreta', 'faeces', 'poo', I could even say 'shit' maybe, this is the root cause of so many diseases," said Bruce Gordon, acting coordinator for sanitation and health at the World Health Organization."
'via Blog this

"... Many countries have made great progress in tackling open defecation, with Vietnam and Bangladesh - where more than one in three people relieved themselves in the open in 1990 - virtually stamping out the practice entirely by 2012."

"...India's government has now woken up to the need to change attitudes, he said, with a "Take the poo to the loo" campaign that aims to make open defecation unacceptable, helped by a catchy YouTube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU  ."


CONCLUSION
Depend on MooPig to keep you informed. We will be monitoring all forms of excrement through out the world, and maybe make some charts up, and possibly mash a bunch of articles together to help you in your scatological pursuits. Remember -- we at MooPig will always be better than FOX News! Don't want to set the barre too high now.

EPILOGUE
Things we still want to know:

1. Has Bill Gates entered the stage where he locks himself in a Hotel room and doesn't bathe?
2. What became of the Westboro Baptist Church media whores?
3. Does Jose still work for Kennedy Underground Utilities Company? His job was to find water, no matter where he was.
4. If I put Erika Eleniak's picture on this post, will it become a number one in page-views post?
5. Why do networks pixel-ate out sponsors on UFC fighters' shorts and shirts when they show reruns of their fights?
6. Why does my foot shake when I type? Is that restless leg syndrome? I am, after all, almost 60. 

Erika Eleniak in "Under Siege"

________________Reference
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/one-billion-open-defecation_n_5289049.html
http://www.ruerude.com/2011/10/paris-dog-shit-poop-capital-of-the-world.html
http://knoxwulf.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/cell-phone-conspiracy/
http://youtu.be/_peUxE_BKcU
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/04/science-of-flatulence-farts-oops-poops.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/06/best-poop-blog-post-of-2010-nominations.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/02/todays-non-syndicated-funnies.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/10/moopig-archaeology-nano-second-ancient.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/02/letters-department-bill-gates-2013.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/08/moopigs-medical-diagnostics-and-health.html

MooPig's Medical Diagnostics and Health Alerts Department :: "You're Taking a Crap Wrong!"

A MooPig Poop Scoop; "Correcting your Anorectal Angle"
Thanks to Affiliate Correspondent Joe Holesworth  |  Aug 22, 2013  |  Bryan TX

So you already live with animals -- teenagers -- and now we find yet another class actionable suit situation with porcelain potties in the western world. When in Japan, do as the Japanese; yes they squat. But alongside their squatter toilet, in their public toilets, you will find Johnny Crapper sitters ... as Japanese become westernized.

Health Alert: You're Taking a Crap Wrong! This Is How You Poop Properly « Medical Diagnosis & Procedures:  "According to Henry L. Bockus in Gastroenterology, the standard textbook on the subject: "The ideal posture for defecation is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure increased, thus encouraging expulsion ...".

The reason is because of the puborectalis muscle."

'via Blog this'

CONCLUSION
Draw your own conclusion but take heed: not only is squatting good for elimination - it's also great for maintaining or reclaiming mobility and diminishing back pain.

_____________________Reference
http://www.amazon.com/Bockus-Gastroenterology-Set-William-Haubrich/dp/072163687X/
http://medical-diagonosis.wonderhowto.com/how-to/health-alert-youre-taking-crap-wrong-is-you-poop-properly-0139696/
http://www.squattypotty.com/
http://teri.ourhealthcoop.com/2012/08/squat-to-poop-correct-alignment-when.html
http://www.stratoblogster.com/

A Knome is Born

The KNOME who Could
by Pat Darnell and the Barnyard Animals

At MooPig Laboratories we have successfully reverse engineered a KNOME, or Yard GNOME, for our selves. It figures into a three year long sweaty toil to invent an eye catching flamer of a Mascot for our continued composting efforts. The whole Barnyard pitched in and gave their best inputs and outputs for the final draft.
[SOURCE]

KNOME, the First. Pen on Paper, 5 x 7, image.

BEST PooP Blog POst of 2010 Nominations

ATTENTION

The Following LINK'ed Blog Post has been Nominated by the William T Shatner and Martha T McAnne Hightower \ Wendy Williams and Bill Gaines Foundations

Best PooP Blog Post by a Sibling of 2010

Final Judging and Winners will be Announced on Scatological Monday, 2011

:: Thomas Crapper Day 101 year Anniversary January 17, 2011

MOTTO: "Where's the Prestige?"

Congratulations to Pribek.net and Affiliates [HERE]

2010 SPONSORS OF Scatologic PooP Story by a Sibling :: Johnny Crapper Day January 17, 2011

Thanks to all SPONSORS for this years contributions!!




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The Science of Flatulence, Farts, Oops Poops, and Toots

Ever Wonder what a PhD of Scatology looks like?

In an interview with VICE, Dr. Gottesman covered the big mysteries of gas, such as what determines the signature scent of a fart:

No, that's not me... although ... hmmmm the likeness is uncanny !!

For someone who constantly deals with gases emitted from strangers' derrieres, Dr. Lester Gottesman sure looks cheery. Then again, how could a man who explains that the signature smell of people's farts is determined at birth not look permanently amused? (Rosa Golijan, the author of this post, at rgolijan@gizmodo.com.)

Scatology ... has a much to do with Gravity.

"You can read the complete interview over at VICE and I highly recommend that you do, because it covers all the concerns we may have about our rear ends. [VICE]"
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Welcome to MooPigs South Harmon Institute of Scatology

I'm so
predictable





...and Bob's your Unkle...

Show Me the Stardust! Subjectivity of Music: Record you guys, RECORD! More Recordings, Now!

Honestly, the first time I heard Bob Dylan "perform" I was as happy as the day I learned I have to defecate everyday I am alive. I was suddenly the outsider, like Ayla the banished blonde in Clan of the Cave Bear novel series by J.M. Auel. "This is what I have to listen to if I am going to be a cool insider with the girls and guys?" thought I, at the tender age of 12.

Okay, such a reaction deserves some explanation. So, I did some research; this one took a long time. I'd say about 48 seconds later, I realized that Rap did the same to me and caused lower bowel reactions as well.

It turns out, Scatological Music might not be a category at Best Buy, however, I am here to witness and comment, so here it is.

Rap is the new Dylan that burgeons from Irish Pub scat.

Folk music has been coming to us in the present through the outhouses of time for centuries. How we sing and play is only a reverberation of what has been, and the useless sound bytes of what it is today. Today, however it is not live stuff, rather recordings and those recordings go on forever, remashed and sampled.

If you are a musician and you don't record, then you will only become the sunbeam that propels some apish mimick into stardom. You want examples? Here:

From the annals of myspace we get this stuff: "Roger Daughtry Keith Richards Anthony Kiedis Twiggy Jack White Dave Navarro Hugh Laurie And some dead people that I wish were alive... John Lennon ... 'If you think holding hands is all in the figers, grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers.' Megan, Female 20 years old Savannah, GEORGIA United States on myspace ?????

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=5432890

(spell check, dear one) Hey wait, those guys aren't all dead yet!

...Roger Daughtry Mick Jagger MC Hammer Elvis Presley Bob Dylan Snoop Dog Gene Simmons Harry Connick, Jr. Sir/Ms Elton John Bon Voyage' Jovi... you go on and list more in this mess of gimmicks; these are all latent wankers and tossers, because they are a few that come to mind who lived and perished ...off the oats of the live and fully chopped trombonists, fender pickers, upright bassists... and frogs on the way to a gig~ who no 20 year old has heard of because there are no recordings to fast forward to the next generation of listeners! Open letter to all Megan's:

Julie Zuluaga
Luther Hughes
John Hughes
Pribek
Hardly Human (eight piece band for chris' sake!)
The Mackrosoft...
Gary Hodges, and that's just the "H's"

This all comes about because I happened on to a web-site that features CDBaby.com where I find the kinda thing that might keep me from yelling like I am today. I have been angry at the sick prince of anti-music for a decade for sounds to come out of the speakers that aren't anti-music! God has answered an old man's prayer. You too can get sanctified, keep searching.

Fortunately, cdbaby.com features "Real throats, real shuffling, and real hearts; and usually unsung these artists do it better than those who steal, mimick and go to Hair Transplants for aged Rock 'n Roll Men."

You know I look back and my middle school band teacher, Mr. Munson, had more talent than the gathering of excrement that keeps getting re-hashed, and played all over from overhead bose speakers at Krogers to College Station North-Gate. The bouquet has become unbearable.

Show me you got the stardust in you. Come out, come out where ever you are, and record the living daylights out of your PC's, let us subjective half-brained listeners hear it. Start your own underground Area 42, for Chris's sake, if record companies are all prick-ly's, circumnavigate them.

There is unlimited band-width in photonics, like a smizzzural gillion levels of light waves available to you real shaker/choppers. What I would give to be in a hole-in-the-wall, listenin' to dusty Martins, with Billy the Hat drawin' from some back factory of lyrics. But I am limited too, like so many aged prime 'Bay Boomers (Pribek.net). So I gotta bring it home. I don't care if it sounds like someone holding a Hello Kitty microphone up to your performance: Record ya' bastards!

In conclusion: Many of us are sick of the Beatles, I certainly am. Lots of us don't have a radio on anymore, its too damn feeble. What do I like? Well, record your best chops and let me see if that is the stuff. Listeners, yeah you Megan, go to cdbaby and start a revolution!

There I wrote it. That's all I've got today. >pd