MooPig :poop: Department :: "Pet Lovers' Derivatives"

[Picture LINK] "..."You often have to carry a bag of hot poop for many long minutes while running into every attractive opposite-sex acquaintance you have."..."

"Scruffy has to go outside, Junior..."
Martial Mashed Article by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Test for whether one is a bonafide writer or not ... "How many times do you have to look up the difference between 'affect' and 'effect?'"

There are two kinds of people, those who let their pets poop all over, and those who let their pets poop all over but never mention it. I have been both kinds. Unfortunately, our pets' pooping all over affects our long-standing watersheds. See article below.

Are Americans ready to 'effect' martial law on pets pooping all over? Ha! *[Let's see if I did that correctly]*  LINK -- I still can't figure it out.

As a young person I let our Pekingese-Cocker-Spaniel, Baby, poop all over the back yard and just avoided it as I mowed the yard. As a young adult I let our Border Collie poop all over his dog run. I couldn't organize my own wastage's, how could I affectingly manage our pup's waste?

Now after several scat sorties by this blog, I find I am still dilettante, and never will get it through my thick skull that the pets are pooping all over the place. Unfortunately, I have genetically passed on this shortsightedness to my children.

No Poop Fairy, so manage your pets' waste - National Green Living | Examiner.com: "The most effective way for pet owners to limit their pet’s contribution to source water contamination is to simply clean up and dispose of pet waste. As long as the droppings are not mixed with other materials, pet waste should be flushed down the toilet."

"...[I]n Northern Virginia, a dog population of 11,400 is estimated to contribute about 5,000 pounds of solid waste every day and has been identified as a major contributor of bacteria to the stream. Nearly 500 fecal coliform samples have been taken from Four Mile Run and its tributaries since 1990, and about 50 percent of these samples have exceeded the Virginia State water quality standard for fecal coliform bacteria, according to EPA..."

CONCLUSION
Food in; poop out.

____________________Reference
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/affect-effect-grammar.html
http://www.examiner.com/article/no-poop-fairy-so-manage-your-pets-waste
http://www.dogster.com/lifestyle/dog-walking-picking-up-poop-bags

MooPig :poop: Department :: "Earth as a Toilet"

Most Will Shy Away from this Discussion
Mashed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell  |  June 28, 2014  |  Bryan TX

"What is shocking in India is this picture [HERE] of someone practicing open defecation and in the other hand having a mobile phone," said Maria Neira, director of Public Health at the WHO.

We can only imagine what an Indian wedding is like. The dogged truth is that bears do shit in the woods. When you are surrounded by a world of shit, there is still wonderful things all around to look at -- or is there ...?

"... Paris lovers try not to notice the dog poop everywhere, but they have to be careful anyway. In my neighborhood, if you don't have your eyes riveted on the sidewalk as you walk, you will have a nasty surprise on your shoes when you get home. Hundreds of people a year wind up in the hospital after slipping in the dog poop ( LINK) ..."

And then, there are 14 places you can aspire to pee/poop, including the ISS, ski slopes, underwater, and others, according to this article:

"...13. The Ski-Jump Toilet
Japan’s Madarao-Kogen hotel is home to the simulated ski-jump toilet, offering maximum comfort without the harshness of winter: “The cubicles were fully wrapped on all sides, so that the person caught short would have a ski jumper’s view when they were sitting on the loo.” (LINK)..."

[Picture LINK]

This bit started with this article:

One Billion People Still Practise Open Defecation, Endangering Public Health: UN: "Tom Miles GENEVA, May 8 (Reuters) - One billion people worldwide still practise "open defecation" and they need to be told that this leads to the spread of fatal diseases, U.N. experts said on Thursday at the launch of a study on drinking water and sanitation. "'Excreta', 'faeces', 'poo', I could even say 'shit' maybe, this is the root cause of so many diseases," said Bruce Gordon, acting coordinator for sanitation and health at the World Health Organization."
'via Blog this

"... Many countries have made great progress in tackling open defecation, with Vietnam and Bangladesh - where more than one in three people relieved themselves in the open in 1990 - virtually stamping out the practice entirely by 2012."

"...India's government has now woken up to the need to change attitudes, he said, with a "Take the poo to the loo" campaign that aims to make open defecation unacceptable, helped by a catchy YouTube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU  ."


CONCLUSION
Depend on MooPig to keep you informed. We will be monitoring all forms of excrement through out the world, and maybe make some charts up, and possibly mash a bunch of articles together to help you in your scatological pursuits. Remember -- we at MooPig will always be better than FOX News! Don't want to set the barre too high now.

EPILOGUE
Things we still want to know:

1. Has Bill Gates entered the stage where he locks himself in a Hotel room and doesn't bathe?
2. What became of the Westboro Baptist Church media whores?
3. Does Jose still work for Kennedy Underground Utilities Company? His job was to find water, no matter where he was.
4. If I put Erika Eleniak's picture on this post, will it become a number one in page-views post?
5. Why do networks pixel-ate out sponsors on UFC fighters' shorts and shirts when they show reruns of their fights?
6. Why does my foot shake when I type? Is that restless leg syndrome? I am, after all, almost 60. 

Erika Eleniak in "Under Siege"

________________Reference
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/one-billion-open-defecation_n_5289049.html
http://www.ruerude.com/2011/10/paris-dog-shit-poop-capital-of-the-world.html
http://knoxwulf.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/cell-phone-conspiracy/
http://youtu.be/_peUxE_BKcU
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/04/science-of-flatulence-farts-oops-poops.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2010/06/best-poop-blog-post-of-2010-nominations.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/02/todays-non-syndicated-funnies.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/10/moopig-archaeology-nano-second-ancient.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/02/letters-department-bill-gates-2013.html
http://moopigwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/08/moopigs-medical-diagnostics-and-health.html

MooPig Tech Coroner :: "Bank Officers"

Bank Officers are becoming Extinct
mashed articles by Pat Darnell  |  Feb 19, 2014  |  Bryan TX

[Picture Credit unknown]

New technologies of 'Quantitative Easing,' and 'BitCoins,' and 'Non-Causal Derivatives' are leading Bank Officers world wide to hurl them selves off buildings and to commit suicide? For instance at article: "... Richard Talley, the 57 year old founder of American Title Services in Centennial, Colorado, was found dead earlier this month after apparently shooting himself with a nail gun. ..."

Death by nail gun is a terrible death. This pandemic of mysterious deaths by suicide seem to me to be heinous. No other word satisfies my senses, that these self-murdering bank officials were facing something many times more heinous than death by their own hands. Right?

Is there a consensus on this trend? My Google search shows 22 million results ... YIKES!

8th international banker to die in a month jumps off building in China | Intellihub News: "HONG KONG (INTELLIHUB) — All month we have been reporting on the suspicious string of apparent suicides that have hit the financial industry.  Multiple bankers have been found dead in recent weeks, all of them have been ruled suicides despite the fact that little information has been released in some of the cases."

"Those who had high profile deaths, like the man who jumped from the top of the JP Morgan HQ building in Europe are highly publicized, but overall, very few details about any of these deaths have been made public.  Now this week, another investment banker has jumped from a different JP Morgan HQ, on a different continent, this time in Hong Kong, China."
'via Blog this'

CONCLUSION
I predict a new reality show title: " ... Banker Suicide ..." Will he jump?

Listen I know there is nothing to laugh at here. Suicide is a serious, and heinous way to conclude a life. In my proposed reality show I would have the 'jumper' wearing a bungee cord. We cannot see the truth because it is hidden in the minds of all the financial people out there. It is like a collective hive of humans who prey on humanity, while looking status quo.


___________________Reference
http://intellihub.com/8th-international-banker-die-month-jumps-building-china/
http://beforeitsnews.com/banksters/2014/01/bankers-committing-suicide-2434076.html
http://armstrongeconomics.com/2014/02/18/are-bankers-committing-suicide-for-a-connected-reason/
http://youtu.be/SAChQIdXIKc
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-02-12/another-jpmorgan-banker-dies-37-year-old-executive-director-program-trading
http://www.prisonplanet.com/third-banker-commits-suicide-within-a-week.html
http://universalfreepress.com/does-banker-suicide-trend-signal-upcoming-crisis/
http://www.kultusbook.com/2014/02/recent-banker-suicides-questionable.html

MooPig's Medical Diagnostics and Health Alerts Department :: "You're Taking a Crap Wrong!"

A MooPig Poop Scoop; "Correcting your Anorectal Angle"
Thanks to Affiliate Correspondent Joe Holesworth  |  Aug 22, 2013  |  Bryan TX

So you already live with animals -- teenagers -- and now we find yet another class actionable suit situation with porcelain potties in the western world. When in Japan, do as the Japanese; yes they squat. But alongside their squatter toilet, in their public toilets, you will find Johnny Crapper sitters ... as Japanese become westernized.

Health Alert: You're Taking a Crap Wrong! This Is How You Poop Properly « Medical Diagnosis & Procedures:  "According to Henry L. Bockus in Gastroenterology, the standard textbook on the subject: "The ideal posture for defecation is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure increased, thus encouraging expulsion ...".

The reason is because of the puborectalis muscle."

'via Blog this'

CONCLUSION
Draw your own conclusion but take heed: not only is squatting good for elimination - it's also great for maintaining or reclaiming mobility and diminishing back pain.

_____________________Reference
http://www.amazon.com/Bockus-Gastroenterology-Set-William-Haubrich/dp/072163687X/
http://medical-diagonosis.wonderhowto.com/how-to/health-alert-youre-taking-crap-wrong-is-you-poop-properly-0139696/
http://www.squattypotty.com/
http://teri.ourhealthcoop.com/2012/08/squat-to-poop-correct-alignment-when.html
http://www.stratoblogster.com/

MooPig Re-run Fun :: "I'm in my Fifties now, so I'm going to start suing"

Class Action Suits We'd Like to See: Article Originally ran 12/30/08 12:10 AM
by Pat Darnell and the Herd | Jan 27, 2013 | Bryan TX




What, Me MAD?
by Pat Darnell | 12/30/08 12:10 AM
I think I will start with a Class Action calling out Mainstream Actresses --

To kickoff the new year, I will file a petition to get back all that is taken from our family by actresses and actors who do not maintain their natural looks. First off Meg Ryan will receive a copy for cutting down her nose so that she looks like Charo when I see her in movies now, 2008. "I don't pay my buck fiddy to see what the actress thinks I should see, I pay to see Meg Ryan as she is," says I. "Give me back my money."

Then I might follow up with a suit against the computer industry for finding so many ways to make it more complicated to write a letter to my friends.

I should include the education system in my appeals for teaching me binary math when I was in elementary school. I think it messed with my logical development, and interrupted my growth. "You want proof? Just look at this blog... yeah, proof, up yours!"

Women who have scorned me, false gods, and the entire authorship of Scientology will hear from me: including Wayne Newton for not singing high notes anymore.

I might single out for class action suit demanding compensation to MAD Magazine readers for MAD going on TV with stupidity and tasteless parody... oh yeah that is what they do. Maybe I will have to rethink that one.

Other groups who need to answer for their less than ideal performance: the IMF, beekeepers, and meat eaters. Hey New York, do you ever eat a steak? Philly tell me you don't eat a lot of steak? How could you let the beef industry falter so far away from its main purpose? Beef recalls in 2008, where's the beef buddy boys?

Beekeepers, how did you obviously fall down on the job so completely and lose all the bees?

International Monetary Fund, how did you just go and let US bankers and securities groups dip into your enormous cache of funds with hedges and gambles? Aren't there any other nations in there to watch things?

So, Meg, you have done so much damage to yourself, it seems you have suffered enough. So I am going to remind you with this punitive subpoena to appear before the court of human race opinion as you ought to be, not as you so often make us try to envision you might be.. How do you like them apples, old girl? You've been served.

This is going to be a GREAT year, 2009. I am truly excited!

 [...]

HA! We were bluffing! But seriously, folks, shouldn't we be compensated?

MooPig 12 Days of Doom Prep :: DAY Seven "Gloomy Sunday"

Gloomy Sunday by Rezso Seress, 1933 
Retrieved by Pat Darnell  |  Dec 15, 2012  |  Bryan TX

"Gloomy Sunday" is a song composed by Hungarian pianist and composer Rezső Seress and published in 1933, as "Vége a világnak" ("End of the world"). Lyrics were written by László Jávor, and in his version the song was retitled "Szomorú vasárnap" (Hungarian pronunciation: [ˈsomoruː ˈvɒʃaːrnɒp]) ("Sad Sunday"). The song was first recorded in Hungarian by Pál Kalmár in 1935. It became well known throughout much of the English-speaking world after the release of a version by Billie Holiday in 1941. (wiki)

Uploaded on Jul 11, 2009
Sinead O'Connor - Gloomy Sunday --
Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach
Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided
To end it all
Soon there'll be flowers and prayers
That are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know
That I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart dear
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday
Gloomy Sunday

____________________________Reference

http://youtu.be/98LDN37-N3A

http://youtu.be/48cTUnUtzx4

http://youtu.be/TCEJtUNe90A

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloomy_Sunday

MooPig's Tech Coroner :: "Farmers' Demise"

5 Million Farmers Sue Monsanto for $7.7 Billion: "The practice of using renewal seeds dates back to ancient times, but Monsanto seeks to collect massive royalties and put an end to the practice. Why? Because Monsanto owns the very patent to the genetically modified seed, and is charging the farmers not only for the original crops, but the later harvests as well. Eventually, the royalties compound and many farmers begin to struggle with even keeping their farm afloat. It is for this reason that India slammed Monsanto with groundbreaking ‘biopiracy’ charges in an effort to stop Monsanto from ‘patenting life’."

'via Blog this'

“Monsanto gets paid when it sell the seeds. The law gives producers the right to multiply the seeds they buy and nowhere in the world is there a requirement to pay (again). Producers are in effect paying a private tax on production.”

It means Monsanto is trying to catch a tithe from every corn kernel grown in the world, applied to its sanctimonious halls of unscrupulous worship. It is a double tap for the giant GM seed maker ... only this time there is a blood trail on that grain that won't go away.

Back in 2008, the Daily Mail covered what is known as the ‘GM Genocide’, which is responsible for taking the lives of over 17,683 Indian farmers in 2009 alone. After finding that their harvests were failing and they started to enter economic turmoil, the farmers began ending their own lives — oftentimes drinking the very same insecticide that Monsanto provided them with. (ANDREW MALONE. 2 November 2008. HERE)

Yes, farmers offing themselves with the very insecticides that Monsanto provides! YIKES!




_________________________Reference
http://readersupportednews.org/news-section2/312-16/11795-5-million-farmers-sue-monsanto-for-77-billion
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1082559/The-GM-genocide-Thousands-Indian-farmers-committing-suicide-using-genetically-modified-crops.html




___________________Reference

I'm in my Fifties now, so I'm going to start suing

What, Me MAD?
by Pat Darnell
I think I will start with a Class Action calling out Mainstream Actresses --

To kickoff the new year, I will file a petition to get back all that is taken from our family by actresses and actors who do not maintain their natural looks. First off Meg Ryan will receive a copy for cutting down her nose so that she looks like Charo when I see her in movies now, 2008. "I don't pay my buck fiddy to see what the actress thinks I should see, I pay to see Meg Ryan as she is," says I. "Give me back my money."

Then I might follow up with a suit against the computer industry for finding so many ways to make it more complicated to write a letter to my friends.

I should include the education system in my appeals for teaching me binary math when I was in elementary school. I think it messed with my logical development, and interrupted my growth. "You want proof? Just look at this blog... yeah, proof, up yours!"

Women who have scorned me, false gods, and the entire authorship of Scientology will hear from me: including Wayne Newton for not singing high notes anymore.

I might single out for class action suit demanding compensation to MAD Magazine readers for MAD going on TV with stupidity and tasteless parody... oh yeah that is what they do. Maybe I will have to rethink that one.

Other groups who need to answer for their less than ideal performance: the IMF, beekeepers, and meat eaters. Hey New York, do you ever eat a steak? Philly tell me you don't eat a lot of steak? How could you let the beef industry falter so far away from its main purpose? Beef recalls in 2008, where's the beef buddy boys?

Beekeepers, how did you obviously fall down on the job so completely and lose all the bees?

International Monetary Fund, how did you just go and let US bankers and securities groups dip into your enormous cache of funds with hedges and gambles? Aren't there any other nations in there to watch things?

So, Meg, you have done so much damage to yourself, it seems you have suffered enough. So I am going to remind you with this punitive subpoena to appear before the court of human race opinion as you ought to be, not as you so often make us try to envision you might be.. How do you like them apples, old girl? You've been served.

This is going to be a GREAT year, 2009. I am truly excited!