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Friday, October 12, 2007

Revelation is not just for the Chosen



Preparing for old age: It’s all about opening those Seals!!
In Heaven John
witnessed seven seals broken on seven scrolls. If you had not a seal of a bonded servant on you forehead then you were party to seven of the most explosive extinction level events ever attended.

In my own rights of passing, seven scrolls have obviously been unrolled that may be responsible for extreme aging events: the mirror reveals the progress.

The first seal is broken and I am given 5 bundles each of 10 pound fat bags that have made my girth grow exponentially. The second seal was broken and my eyesight was smitten by a third. I stumbled in darkness, until I fell into a lab where a technology had been developed -- and proven on 80,000 previous patrons. There I received lazed surgery and could see once again , just in time.

Now seeing clearly I could gauge a major shift in the abdominal area and very significant increase in shadows I was casting on the walls.

A third seal has been broken revealing several new developments. A third of my hair seems to be missing; a third of my face is moved into my chin, and some funny lumps cover a third of my skin. Oh yes, a third of my muscle has turned to lumpy butt parts, and my inner organs are singing in thirds. Significant thirds of the brain has fused into crystalline intolerance causing a third fewer people who want talk to me.

As the Fourth seal is broken extreme aging forces descend that levels the places I walk, luckily since my feet have turned to clay. It turns out a third of the previous acquaintances who used to visit with me now make a 133% larger circumnavigation to avoid me.

Also, tying shoes has been revealed to me as the baby boomer nightmare. Let me be specific. B-Boomers are the 4 million births a year average from 1946 to 1964. Beware the leaven of Man!!

Therefore, reported increase of 333% sales of Rockport Penny Loafers and Boating shoes with Velcro straps have paralleled sales of comfort fit jean shorts and Academy camo accessory. Really sucks, you know: others getting rich off my natural selection adventures.

“Who are ...Baby Boomers? During the nineteen years between 1946 and 1964, roughly 76 million babies were born. Approximately 17 million more babies were born than would have if fertility rates during this period equaled those of the early 1940s. ...As these 76 million Baby Boomers grew up, their sheer numbers have greatly affected every segment of our society and our economy. Today, boomers represent about 33 percent of the nation’s population. They are a group that will have a dramatic impact on the future of our society (Thompson, Jamie H. thompsonja@missouri.edu )” Huyer, J. (1997). Sources: AARP (1994). Aging Baby Boomers: How secure is their economic future; Single, Divorced, Widowed Professional Women: Retirement, a question of independence or dependence.



I should really stop here, daring not continue into the fifth through seventh seals, as this reveals almost too much detail for even the most stoic reader. You will have to wait for my novel to come out. >>pd

Reference
http://garyosborn.moonfruit.com/revelations2/4517448619

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