Moo Pig Wisdom is a brilliant combination of Antiquity and Prequel Modern Flea Market. We respectfully ask you to mind your children while here.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Updated: "Among the blind, the squinter rules" [anon]

Moopig Wisdom has beautiful crows feet. Keep up the efforts everyone.


by Squinter from the Hinter
UPDATED: Barnyard Humor and what dya get?

Every town I got a Witness*
by 'Blind Pig Drawler

Only thing is
If I'd quit d' dreamin'
I'd forgit to breathe
Yes sir, I'd shore enuff' be afraid

y'see I got no money saved
No town is mine
Only got a mouth harp
And I is blind

a girl took up with me
'n we traveled up'n yonder
she took real good care of me
thas' when I began to ponder

One night she t'were too cold
'after she'd gone t' sleep
'couldn't hear her breathe, no mo'
Now I got too many promises
I can't keep

I will tell you this:
Every town I go
I got a witness, ya' know
is allus' someone there
Allus' t' help me around

One was my li'l Princess
now she's in the ground
in every town I go,
allus, I got a witness
takes my blind self around.

*Title absconded from Pribek, Jack; (, 2008) as allusion; part of ongoing conversation, Feb 08.

Ever Think of Iran? Now and Then? This Story-line Never Changes... never!

NOW: April 28, 2006 --and--
Name: Yaakov Kirschen Location: Israel
I started Dry Bones in Jan 1973. Since then I've been known as "Bones" to friends and colleagues. This is the first time I've ever shared the "stories behind the cartoons." Enjoy.

THEN: January 23, 1979

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

UPDATED -- Schnickelgruber -- 1978 Guinness World Record Holder

See Comments:
11. Belling the Cat
This is an old children's story that often applies to peoples' opinions.
There once was a group of mice living in a house. There was also a cat in that house. The cat liked to chase, pounce on, and eat the mice.
One day, one of the mice came up with an idea. "The basic problem is that the cat is just so silent. What if we were to put a bell on the cat? Then we could hear the cat coming and run away. We could thus run around the house much more safely."
The other mice all, of course, agreed that this was a really good idea.
There was unfortunately one problem with this idea. Who's going to put the bell on the cat?
The mice never did come up with an answer to that dangerous problem ( Christopher B. Browne's Home Page )

Think back to the fable for a moment. Would the lives of Aesop's mice be improved if the cat had a bell around its neck? Surely. Would the bell save the lives of future mice? Absolutely. Would the belling of the cat erase (or at least mitigate) the specter of terror from the hearts of the mice? Without a doubt. Could the deed be accomplished without risk or sacrifice? Almost certainly not. (Jeff Edwards is a retired U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer, and an Anti-Submarine Warfare Specialist...)

Sittin' on the Devils Between the Sheets of the Files

“The International Fraud Incident of ‘08, MTC #8 March 2, 2008: The BlogNinjas are raring to go with more Mystery Topic Challenge goodness. You don’t have to be a Blog Ninja to take part but if you want to read and then vote for your favorite, come by:

“Last Thursday I received a call from the fraud department at Visa. It seems someone created a duplicate of my debit/ATM/credit card and used it at truck stops in Alberta, Canada and again several days later at an amusement park in Baltimore, Maryland. I suspect I’ll never know how they got my number, what they bought with my money or why they needed those things.”

Devils between the Sheets; Commercial Espionage in e-Commerce 1998 - 2008

by MooPig

“There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight. The sort of script which is used in this book can be very easily obtained by anyone who has once learned the knack; but disposed or excitable people who might make a bad use of it shall not learn it from me.” (C. S. LEWIS, MAGDALEN COLLEGE, July 5, 1941)
Part One: Identity is who you are; or is it what you do?
The root of all evil is the Love of Money. I have always been really good at seeing the imperfections in things. Things and objects take on a magical dimension for me. When it comes to imperfections in human behavior, however, it turns out I do not easily read others. I either lack the knack, or make bad use of empathy.

In my spare time I once studied, trained, passed Health-Life-Property-Casualty exams and joined Jumbo Life Insurance company at NW Regional Office in Chicagoland, Rosemont, IL. Mind it; this was Jumbo's number one regional office in the country, a model for all others.

Until this time in my world of work, my work was engineering, science, and design, and had run with it. I had not reached a comfortable level of understanding science of finances. So I did a rather silly thing, to the chagrin of my wife and bairn. It was a change in career I perceived I needed to pursue. Hey, we all have a thirst for implicit knowledge, I am no exception.

The skinny is that because education of finance is bound by ethics, I reasoned jumping ahead by joining a securities sales group would work to our favor. This way I get inside workings and implicit structures explained by insiders of money businesses. "It will build confidence in money matters, and finish my character," I kept telling myself.

There were four of us newbie’s, with four diverse backgrounds and personalities. One guy was a previous Pawn Broker of fifteen years from Rush Street, another came from Real Estate Sales, and the third was a retired Army Colonel.

The second week, we were asked to take an ethics test. The whole force hunkered down in their cubicles. I buzzed through the test knowing I only had to make a seventy percent to pass, and really it was no sweat. Hey I’m an upstart!

But my Pawn Broker classmate, well he was puffing and panting. Pete, his name, kept looking down in his lap, and I could see his Ethics book there. I chuckled to myself. He saw me and whispered, “What did you get on number four?”

He in his late forties; I, early forties, as are most the sales force... “Uh, ‘C’,” I answered.

Then I looked around and saw many were in the same boat. “You only need a seventy to pass, Pete,” I whispered.

“What?” he looked miserable. He looked sick. His manager came over to look over his shoulder and whisper something to Pete.

The exam prompter, a retired sales manager walked past us. This morning ballet of our managers going around averaging all the answers and coming back to those in need, “Seven is ‘B’, ten is ‘none of the above’,” whispered Pete’s manager.

You see our sales managers were tutors and mentors and we had training tasks, besides tests. We both got regular reviews, partners as it were.

Then as the exam prompter circled again, everyone, men, women and cheaters, took on the 'old boy' look. I guess we were all trying to look objective and unconcerned.. laid back money movers.
“Cheating on the Ethics Exam,” I still chuckle. Everyone passed the exam, and we moved on.

Part Two: Is it Legal, is it ethical, is it the right thing to do, who gets the benefit?
So one day, several months later, I decided to look into the depths of a long time customer’s file to use as a reset button for setting new priorities. Maybe I could make my client's life a little more comfortable.

I lagged behind the others at first so I figured this dabble in a key client's file would help me with people. Guess what? Pete it turns out is a people person. His success at sales and service was immediate.

We had this antique data entry system, that if I describe it you could die from laughter; standard pre-1989, pre-MSDOS, miraculous it did anything... I may have forgotten more formatting than my children will ever encounter, thank God and all His pierced Saints.

My client, Ray, was fighting cancer that had recently invaded his kidneys. His bout with cancer cells put him in miracle category; he was on his eleventh surgery recovery. My mentor/manager George, introduced me to him so I would take care of his account. I visited once a month chatted and collected premiums, or delivered payouts. But my secret self wanted to know more.

His file did tell the whole story and more. By now I had the 'insider' look and walk of a money man. I pulled my cancer client's manila file and read through all the stages of his longsuffering illness. However, as I read the file, between the lines were insider protocols. Little devils jumped from the pages, and I realized my manager had put me on this case to teach me how to say ‘No’ to a person with terminal illness.

Last week I heard a joker in the lobby tel about how 'it is the first policy of Insurance Companies: Pay no Claim.’ It turns out; it is very difficult to wrench a payment from multi-levels of adjusters in Insurance pyramids. “My God man, my client just had his kidney removed!” I was becoming a people person?

Believe you me it is a messy business, selling paper. I am ethical, and did not cheat on my exam... well I did help Pete a little... but this day I asked, “How far can I go, or should I go, into my client’s money business?” What at first was desire to find a closer tie with my client, turned into a magic bus ride -- it was one of my most unbelievable experiences.

Tapping all the way into this man’s finances, to a point where I could have transferred all his assets anywhere. Withdrawals would have been easy; I had all his numbers between the sheets of his hard copy file and the antique green screen.

The only question that stops an identity theft would be 'Why?' The theft was not motivated, and would never match any activity of Ray's identity history of transactions. Yet there he was -- hung out to dry, as it were.

Remember, as a new hire I am supposedly bottom feeding trainee, not privileged, lowly upstart. My experiment flooded me with unfavorable results, so I tried another client and was able again using terminal, phone and file, to repeat the procedure all the way to a retired couple’s accounts: sadly, totally true.

Between the sheets of my clients’ files I had social security numbers, birth dates, intakes on all conditions of living situations, even children’s’ up to date information, and it was kept current by many with access. Regional terminals linked to home offices spewed out privileged information on the client’s past transactions, balances and history. With the phone I could elect voice-over menus and press in any numbers needed to access the client’s accounts.

Part Three: How strong are bonds holding an Identity together?
If someone benefits from the crime, then Identity Theft. Hopefully Jumbo has updated the files and data so there are encryptions preventing snooping like this. But now I know we are all on the same boat-ride, surrounded by leviathons. Unfortunately I had begun to see an unseaworthy vessel, with many imperfections, at Jumbo. "So money business is not in any way exacting," I concluded. Bonds that hold identity together are, after all, subjective.

“How good an agent would I make, knowing now what I know after crossing the line as I had?” I could fill the abstract traditional agent role, but it is ruined by the new destructive knowledge I now possess. Internally, the identity of each of my clients’ holds together, as long as I hold together, but it is still not enough. Until the safety of the identity is incorporated in the larger structure, it isn’t safe by any means. Regional Managers, Account Managers, Account Associates, Adjusters... who is in control? All of them. And who is in control of them? No one.

What happens if a new subjective motivation enters the picture? Jealousy for instance could set in motion an outsider to invade my client base. Well it happens... and it is easy pickings.

Curiosity set me on a subjective path that could have destroyed identities. I learned each identity put on the Internet is similar to a personal ad. Personals historically advertise one’s qualities and desires. Again subjective considerations follow one's identity.

Whether the ad is read and answered or not, is a risk taken sometimes just to make the one who advertised ‘happy.’ But any ad risks identity through permanent numbers and could lead the 'wrong person' to an innocent personal storehouse of information. Misuse of another's information causes extreme ‘unhappiness.’ Subjectivity is the bonding abent of our identities.

There is no punch line to this story, except that I evolved through failure. I don’t have the stomach for selling paper. I blossomed as a more empathizing person after my experiences in financials; maybe I never was all that unsympathetic after all.

I learned how the securities business is conspicuously inefficient, subjective, and involves identity floating on a random act of happiness or unhappiness. How to avoid it; it is a jumbo tangle of inhuman numbers and number games, structured like pyramids; nagging me, and I am sure others.

Still I want to feel ‘happy’ with my identity. And, when happy, I am like all others, naturally wanting to extend my ID into the sphere of virtual e-commerce. In most cases of identity risks, I have taken charge of its safety, while much is left to un-manageable circumstance.

Conclusion: Pawn Broker Pete
Happiness is thus a measure that a person computes, taking into account both one's self-estimated internal stability, and self-perceived normalcy relative to external society.
When our identity is reduced and refined to code-lets and glyphs, our ID grows larger than life; however, our organic, purposeful, humanity to nurture the human race grows extinct.

"...The sort of script which is used in this book can be very easily obtained by anyone who has once learned the knack; but disposed or excitable people who might make a bad use of it shall not learn it from me.” (Lewis, CS)

In my life lesson: Jumbo Insurance Company’s overall goal could be succinctly stated as producing one happy top level agent, who out of the four of us upstarts was none other than Pawn Broker Pete. We three others faded into the background, just not suited for higher levels of arm twisting and identity crashing.

En route to his goal, Pete is guided by the happiness of the intermediary structures he has made. Uncertainty for the rest of us lies in the certainty that Pete will eventually find our identities sittin' inbetween the devils of the sheets of our files.
Photo: (1916-17) The Pawnshop; The pawnbroker's daughter Edna Purviance condemns assistant John Rand for hitting Charlie, "a mere child!"

Please visit the Mystery Topic Challenge Blog to view all of the other entries. Once you've read them all, please be sure to vote HERE in the Sidebar for your favorite.

Posted by MooPig who is really Patrick Darnell, who lives and loves and pursues happiness in Brazos Valley, Texas -- and has no more to do with Jumbo Insurance Co.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Need We Say More?

(2004) Reckless Driver, by Hendrik Hertzberg "...More than any other single person, Ralph Nader is responsible for the existence of automobiles that have seat belts, padded dashboards, air bags, non-impaling steering columns, and gas tanks that don’t readily explode when the car gets rear-ended..."

Friday, February 22, 2008

the "American question" revisited

Our children grow up , learn things and uncover the ptolemic questions we tired of so many years ago. They stick it right back in our faces, demanding answers like we did. And they grow up smart, at least they all seem to have their specialties going, backed by a lot of schooling, the internet and talk radio. My sons know their Founding Fathers and they see the genius of it all - what took place when this nation was knit together in the 1700's. They have also seen where the propaganda breaks down and it always comes around to "slavery", the American question. Still.
Now we oldies all got tired of "the question" sometime in the late 1970's after 20 years of ugliness. Everybody did and we've been letting time work. And it has.
But the kids still want to know how come "all men" didn't really mean "all men". They want to understand how men who kept others chained and caged could shake their fists at England for subjecting them to political servitude. They need to grasp exactly where the disconnect was for these wise intellectual giants between the lofty platitudes and the maintenance of their kitchens, stables and fields. They want to know which Jesus was in their hearts, the real one or the impostor.
So they bring it all up again for us, scratch open the wounds of humanity anew.
This is what I've learned recently in my renewed curiosity after sitting down one-on-one with several blacks and discussing this head-on :

First, I don't feel guilty anymore about any of it. It's "history" and not even my history at that.

Second, black-americans have no interest in pinning guilt on whites. They got over that somewhere along the way too. The cry of the 60's for reconciliation has been sincerely replaced with a reasoned call for recognition. At the heart it is a compelling plea - "understand that we don't know who we are! All that we do know is rather shameful, disjointed and fractured. We want to first be recognized as having value as a people group just like everyone, not just us but our forefathers also."

Third, the real Jesus was at work in the hearts of many back then, but far from all. They were shaking the foundation of the world (and risking hanging & quartering) by denouncing aristocracy as a fraud, asserting that God did not ordain one class of humans as "nobel" and others "common". Though many called for going further, eliminating slavery, there were not enough of them. I am convinced that no power or intellect on earth besides the love of Jesus can overcome bigotry in men because slavery in all forms is of Satan and only Jesus ever could or ever can stand against that slave pimp. The French revolution was totally of "men" and ended in butchery because they could not stand against the Hater of Men without Jesus. He twisted their fine intentions into his will for more destruction.

So, this is what I tell my kids and then I listen to hear what they think. And pray for their world as I assume our parents prayed for ours.

"Clinton backers may find an alternative..."

MooPig Wisdom contemplates the obvious: ...One who puts pop culture on a pedestal, puts wisdom in a coffin.

"Clinton backers may find an alternative named McCain"
Feb. 18, 2008, 8:34PM

Despite the hard contest between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, party leaders keep telling Democratic-leaning voters that they have two good candidates. They are right, but one of them may well be a Republican.

Far from the pumped-up Obama rallies, centrists who voted for John Kerry last time now say they are considering John McCain — especially if the Democrat is the vaporous Obama. At least that's what many are telling me — and I'm telling myself.

One friend said he'd vote for the New York senator, and if she's not the candidate, then McCain. When I reminded him that he doesn't like Hillary, he shrugged. Another acquaintance e-mailed, "Hillary is to me extremely unlikable, but I do not regard likeability as a qualification."

The notion that many Clinton voters cannot be easily transferred to Obama contradicts much "expert" opinion. But a Super Tuesday exit poll suggested there is something to it. While 52 percent of Obama's supporters were amenable to a Clinton candidacy, only 49 percent of Clinton voters said they'd be happy with the Illinois senator, according to the survey by Harvard University's Institute of Politics.

And at that time, the news media were still lavishing love on Obama. That situation is about to end. "He's the fashion plate of the moment," an editorial page editor remarked, "but fashion week is over."

Sophisticated commentary now notes the growing creepiness of the Obama campaign: Its aversion to substantive policy discussions. The sermonizing — "In the face of despair, we believe there can be hope." And the messianic bit — "At this moment in the election there is something happening in America." (That would be he.)

Volunteer trainees at Camp Obama are told not to talk issues with voters, but to offer personal testimony about how they "came" to Obama; makes the skin crawl.

Centrists generally do not find cults of personality entertaining. The mass hypnosis reminds them of the mortgage frenzy — all these people buying into a dream and not caring about the fine print.

The Republican Party, meanwhile, has given them a choice. This is despite the best efforts of its right wing to pick a candidate against whom any Democrat would be better. And the more the radicals beat up on the Arizona senator, the more he looks like a contender to moderate Democrats.

Why might this group like McCain? Count the ways. He had the fiscal discipline to vote against the Bush tax cuts in 2001 and 2003, and the decency to complain that they unfairly favored the rich. He's OK on the environment, concerned over global warming and against oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He supported tighter fuel-economy standards and opposes torture. John McCain is not an embarrassment.

Of course, much could happen before November. To try to make up with the right, McCain might hedge on the very positions that moderates admire. He's already vowed to make permanent the tax cuts he once opposed.

And there's the war in Iraq. McCain courageously slammed the Bush administration's early handling of it, and the troop surge he supported has calmed things in Iraq, at least for now. But he has yet to adequately explain why going to Iraq was ever a good idea.

On the Democratic side, Clinton might prevail and thus offer a serious alternative to McCain. Or Osama might decide to get serious and apply critical thinking to real issues in a way that appeals to wonky centrists.

What Democrats must understand is that their moderates now have another candidate to consider. And this slice of the electorate is big enough and grumpy enough to swing a general election to John McCain.

Harrop is a syndicated columnist based in Providence, R.I. She can be e-mailed at .

>contributed by D2R2

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


MooPig Opens its New "Land O' Questions Storefront"

In recognition of critical thinking, logic and anti-logic, and the rather disembodied way many feel, MooPig has lent some space to QUESTIONS:

These are the rules for the Store:

1) You can rent space for your argument, on a month to month, week to week, or even hour to hour, paid in advance.

2) Content is to include, but not limited to the following guides:

"Asking questions is a powerful human activity, and because of the power of questions, they can sometimes be experienced as rude or invasive by those who receive them. If you decide to ask someone one or more of the deep questions proposed in the above article, it would help your dialogue if you would begin with the kind of conversational openers described...

Whom do I love? By whom am I loved? Am I more loved or loving? How intimate are we? How close is close enough? What are we doing together? Do we help each other broaden and deepen the reach of our caring, to become more compassionate? What clandestine emotions fear, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, sorrow, desire for revenge - keep us from being authentic with each other? When do our vows and promises become a prison from which I and thou must escape to preserve the integrity of our separate beings? Can we renew our passion and commitment? When is it time to say goodbye?
Who is included within the "we," the community, the polis that encompasses and defines my being? Who is my neighbor? For whom, beyond the circle of my family, do I care? Who are my enemies? To what extremes would I go to defend my country? Can I be just, loving, merciful, and be loyal to my profession, my corporation, my country? If we were to measure our success by Gross National Happiness (the national standard of Bhutan) how would our economic, political, educational, and religious institutions change? What would have to happen to convince sovereign nations to wage peace rather than expending their wealth and creativity in producing more deadly and genocidal weapons?

Think of the crises every Adam and Eve must negotiate as composed of three interlocking circles: identity crises, love crises, social crises.

What is happening to me? What comes next for me? What is the source and meaning of my restlessness, dissatisfaction, longing, anxiety? What do I really desire? What have I not brought forth that is within me? What have I contributed to life? What are my gifts? My vocation? What ought I to do? Who says? What does my dream-self know that "I" don't? What story, myth, values, authorities, institutions inform my life? What is my ultimate concern? How faithful am I to my best vision of myself? At whose expense has my wealth, security, and happiness been purchased?" (2000)

But we all know why you really want to rent some MooPig space... don't we?
Keen, S. (2000) Apology for Wonder, Fire in the Belly, To Love and Be Loved, and Faces of the Enemy: Reflections of the Hostile Imagination.

UPDATED: MooPig's -- "What's in a Name?" Department

It is buge'wazee to be a hip blogger. So MooPig is opening up a can of hipster to show a photo essay of the oldest human profession known: guitar pickin' and grinning.
{~~~~this is how you hold a guitar pick, ...circa Stone Age

"What's in a name?" Today's name: GIBSON

Every representing picture following has a Gibson in it, except the girlie pictures...

{~~~How to Pick and Grin, ....circa BoJangles Era

{~~~~How to stand very still for photos, neither pickin' nor grinnin' ...circa Boston Tea Party Era

{~~~Gibson-like Girl, dawning of the exaggerated anatomy age... circa: 1935-60

{~~~tokens for Gibson Girls.... circa anytime

{~~spin doctors and voodoo instruments of fatal confusion, git-fiddle not yet idiot proofed, but they are cool looking, circa: pre-idiot proofing era

Pre-Excorsist era instruments looked like devices of torture, used only by sicko's of WWII. After that was the Cold War, and it has lingered on as the Roswell Cover up era. I like to call it....

{~~~~Orwellian tinkering with modern technology, and dawn of the greys and further examples of major exagerrated anatomy in the male shape... circa Orwellian Era

{~~~~How to impress the girls, and paint with broad brush strokes while investing large sums of money in technology that is impossible to understand or fix if it breaks... circa: Cinematography Age

{~~~~~How to full court press, dunk and take handouts by a GIBSON, circa: All Rights Reserved Era

{~~~the year James Dean died, and the Gibson classic arrived, circa 1955 pre-386 computer age

{~~~~Full accessories now perfected, whereas before this era, you didn't need this cabinet for shit, all you previously needed was a grin and a pick... circa: Accessory Era

{~~further relics of Idiot Proofing Era

{~~a GIBSON grinnin' with pickup girls before posing for a mug shot, staggeringly, circa Hey Baby Era

{~~~~Grinnin', pickin' Basketballin' and eatin'....circa: Present Day Son of Gibson

{~~~for all those gibson's who come to MooPig for girlie studies.... circa: Gibson Girl, the Next Generation

And the Payoff... nothing to do with Gibsons.

{~~~ Gibons Girl 2008... "I got dos' Gibon Ridmz, all up and down my spine... and my bags are packed... and I was a Gibson girl back in Park Ridge... yabalaba labi a yo yah, digga digga o'chay." circa to the moon, Alice

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

UPDATE: Castro poised to pass on power to ...

...the younger generation!!


Late Breaking UPDATE: Retired Castro is going to be seventh member flautist in Skiffle Jazz Band out of Ealing, England. He got a call right after his resignation from "Chubbie Checkers" Chavez, who signed on as Catro's agent.

"It's a match made in Heaven," said Andrea Bocelli, leader of the Bocelli Skiffle Band.

This stroke of good luck for Fidel follows his signing a deal with Adidas jogging suits will adequately fund the "Castro Fund for Eradication of Scurvy, FES."

"It will be good to be a Limey in the Autumn of my life," said Castro in an after-signing banquette. The amount of Castro's contract is undisclosed.

"He [Castro] will be contributing musically in the nose flute department," said Andrea in his broken English.
The group will be opening at the Fes World Sacred Music Festival after a stint at the CASTRO Theater in October.

Other offers considered for the retired Dictator were signing with the Guantanomo Bay Buska'teers, or the New Guinea chick group the Reynold's Rap.

{~~San Francisco's Castro Theater

"In final consideration, we wanted to go with the prestigious Bocelli name," said agent Chavez.

We asked Hugo if he intended to manage Castro full-time and resign his various crowns. He did not want to respond on that possibility at this time. >mpw

{~~ New Guinea Reynolds' Rappers

Guantanomo Bay Busketeers, ~~}
On the road again~~]

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Granny Gang 2005

The Granny Gang Does Branson, A Fun Stuff report - by Suzanne Hill Fitch, 2 May o5

(Retrieved entirely from here today: )

I wanted to tell you about our summer vacation. (2005)

After spending 4 days together in Las Vegas, in 2005, Judy Reiler Cochran, Joan Litherland Ford, Syble Horn, Elayne Stewart, Hallie Schilling Shoemaker, Patti Bobo Dozier, Winona Jones Dutton and myself decided to push our luck and see if 8 women could get along for a week. (I would love to tell you about our trip to Las Vegas, but what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas).

So on May 5th of this year, seven of us (Patti had to miss the trip, due to unfortunate timing of hip surgery) loaded up in a Suburban and took off for Branson, Missouri.

With Winona at the wheel, and Elayne as our trusty navigator, we back seat riders spent our time laughing and singing "On the Road Again" and all the old songs from our dear Austin H.S. days. We made it to Hot Springs, Arkansas the first night, where we did what we do best---eat and shop.

The second day, after a brief stop to see the Winona Wildlife Preserve (no kidding) and a short visit with Judy's daughter, we made it to Branson. Joan took quite a lot of kidding about our lodge, as she picked it out over the Internet, but it was fabulous.

The weather was unseasonably cold and rainy, ruining Syble, Elayne and Joan's plans for golf. One night we had a storm that turned our little backyard creek into a raging river, but we managed to find plenty to do: eating, shopping, going to shows and stalking our nextdoor neighbor, Charro. After making the nightly shows, it was back to our lodge for late night cards, dominoes and popcorn.

[picture right; Platters at Branson] ~~}
Our favorite shows were The Platters, where we sang along all the old songs, and a luncheon cruise on the Branson Belle Riverboat. We spent one day in Eureka Springs (see below), cruising the shops and on to the Passion Play that evening. On our late night trip back, we were stopped by a police officer, who after shining his flashlight inside the car decided he had nabbed the notorious "Granny Gang." After many laughs, he let us off with a warning not to cause too much more trouble.

Unfortunately, Friday rolled around too soon and we had to pack up and head back to Houston on Saturday afternoon, still loving and speaking to each other, laughing and planning for our trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, next May."

Thanks Suzzanne; No one can say this any better...when grannies go for a ride! >pd

Thursday, February 14, 2008

UPDATED -- Kings: FAQ about Gender (this is scientific)

FAQ: King-sized Questions

FAQ: How did King George W Bush get elected anyway?
:doesn't anyone see how the Saudi's Royal Family basically hired Geo W Bush to kill their black sheep relations Osama bin Laden and his bunch of gold diggers?

FAQ: Four Players, and you have four cards in the deck, and all four cards are the Kings. Which cardholder will win?

FAQ: You are Mussolini, and you want to leave a legacy of Sainthood. How do you go about it?

FAQ: Why do Men lie about sex, and drinking?

A Copper asks a guy he just stopped how much he has been drinking -- a trick question -- a guy answers: "Oh, lets see, only two beers tonight." If you say any number, then copper knows you are inebriated... its a confession, knuckleheads!

And men generally lie: Two beers translated is actually "two kegs, two cases, two drums, two barrels, two beer trucks," and certainly not just two bottles of 2% beer.

FAQ: Why do men exaggerate about sex?

First case is apparent... virginity. However after that mishap... the second case is about how many, how much, when, and how long -- when men talk about their sexuality.

For instance: Misnomer John Holmes said he was with 14,000 partners. This is a salesman's list price. The true value is 30% of that number. (It is a very good rule of thumb for all you wannabe sex partners on both sides of the gender... just reduce any number to 30%, that way you only have to go to first base)

Talk is cheap, but lets see what kind of numbers we are talking about?

:and doesn't anyone ever wonder about John Holmes the other King, thought to be a King of porn, who had sex with 14,000 other persons... how much semen filled sperm cells is that? Let's see, 14000 x 300,000,000 = 4,200,000,000,000 sperms (if only for one ejaculation each on average 300 million each time.)

:but we argue it is more like 30% of that number -- 4,200 partners x 300 million = 1,260,000,000,000... which is still a lot of male spirit to spill. It is biblical in degree of lost seed, so Abraham would probably say. The answer lies in rule-of-thumb, and cigars as Monica would disparage.

Men not having the balls to tell the truth is a good catholic case for lesbianism for you girls, but this author cannot recommend any course of action at this time. [Please keep your comments to a minimum.]

FAQ: Who is incharge of the Dead Sea Scrolls?

:and doesn't anyone ever question on a daily basis who is in charge of the Dead Sea Scrolls?

FAQ: What is the huge hurdle in determining when a human is a human?

:at conception...? well not as far as J. Holmes was concerned.

:and what is the sex of a freshly fertilized egg growing from "zygote" -- Male or Female?

:does any of this compute to any worthwhile numbers? Okay a good approach is the number of abortions either known or calculated. In some sex journals I read in the past, average Polish women in the Red-blockade Says, had average eight abortions during their child bearing years.

In 1999 I remember asking a FAQ, about the Kingdom of Poland, and a very nice lady, fresh immigrant from Poland, about the population of Warsaw. "Did you know Poland has zero population growth?" she answered. It means the number of babies being born is less than the mortality rates, at that time.

Valentines Day 2008, get your e-card early!!!!!

'american greetings' Had this on their landing page this morning...
Beep! Honk!It's a Traffic Jam!
Because of high traffic on our site, the page you are trying to reach is unavailable at the moment.
Please try again in a few minutes. That's right!

Beep! Honk!It's a Traffic Jam!
Because of high traffic on our site, the page you are trying to reach is unavailable at the moment.
Please try again in a few minutes.

Meanwhile back at the election '08 ponderosa:

Breaker 19, Hillary, Come back!

Story Update:
Urban Word of the Day February 14, 2008: Valentime's Day The 14th of February. It falls on the same day as [Valentine's Day] except this one is only celebrated by 5 year olds. I.e. "...My daughter rocks, she got Valentimes from all the boys at school on Valentime's Day."

Who's Your Beagle?

"Beagle WINS! Beagle WINS!"

Can't you hear it from the great Sky Box in the air... Harray Canary yelling! JBeagles braying: Once it starts this roof top caucaphony could raise the bones of Moses.
All Beagles can howl with a winning spirit; even you Stevenator. They, as a breed, won some serious national sweepstakes for best puppy, or something uniquely under-doggishly makes good story. See story below. MooPig would like to say from one freaky show animal to another: "Way to go Beagles!"

"We at MooPig usual track large big dumb animals, rather than pets... but any champion raises the animal farm chatter, it is exciting for us. That's one for you, Rufus McUno, in a million-to-uno odds," exclaims MP. "We are very proud of you!"


"Rufus [retired 2006 winner at Westmnleaned in for a better look at the other dogs. Suddenly, the colored bull terrier with the football-sized noggin pitched forward, falling off his tabletop and tumbling to the ground.
The popular Westminster winner was OK, with only a scuffed-up paw to show from his 3½-foot slip over the weekend. Barking, he was soon sipping water from a champagne glass across the street from Madison Square Garden, promoting America's No. 1 dog show... Starting Monday morning, another 2,627 dogs will try to follow Rufus' path to the prize silver bowl."

"...Uno, almost 3 with pleading eyes and plenty of tail-wagging personality, could break out of the Westminster doghouse. He might follow the lead of Underdog, the Disney movie last year based on the old cartoon - no beagle has even reached the seven-dog best in show ring since 1939. "To have the general public see an average dog going and competing and actually winning would send a signal that everyone can do it," said Eddie Dziuk, one of Uno's co-owners."


Numero Uno, Beagle becomes first of his breed to win Westminster
Tuesday, February 12, 2008 11:43 PM

The only dog consistently listed among America's most popular breeds for nearly 100 years, a beagle had never won in the 100 times Westminster picked a winner. That changed when judge J. Donald Jones pointed to this nearly 3-year-old package of personality... ( retrieved today:

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


"Verisimilitude lascivious remorse turning point starving eligibility for intuitive asexual healing "

Blog Archive

SUNDAY :: bishop FM 105.9 Auckland


Gary Grainger LIVE BluesShow from Auckland, 6 to 8PM LondonTime .... you listen too.


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A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"

A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"
GAZA by Pat Darnell for the Age of Attritionally Challenged

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Bill Gaines said it

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