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Saturday, March 28, 2015

Sunday Funnies :: Mashed Martial Articles and Memes





























3/14



















__________________________Reference
Unless referenced with a LINK or caption, Sunday Funnies is a bunch of pirated MEME's from faecesBook, YouTuber, Tweet'um and Tweet'um dee, Redditt, and other places where sources have been lost and are unknown. Give 'em Hell Henry. If you are offended then ASWC ... ask someone who cares.
http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/Ask+Someone+Who+Cares



Thursday, March 26, 2015

MooPig "How to Write a Blues Song" Department

Hey Jeff, Have you ever Fancied Someone you Shouldn't?
by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 26, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Hostility is worsened when humans try to intervene. Not a good opener for a Blues song, but very pertinent. As is oftener the case our lives are carved out not as a map of ideals we live for, rather by choices made along the way while in places that embed themselves in our heads.
"I was in the street
On Grand Avenue..."

There is a relentless hope in all to love and be loved no matter in what place one finds himself. Unless a person is fully jaded, he is looking for someone to share his journey. Many choices we make are begun while looking for a partner.
"People huddled
Cold and damp..."

Without partnership, cold places seem colder, hot places seem hotter, and wet places seem unbearable. But with chosen partners the coldness is manageable, more of a friend, and less of a ghost. Our Blues song lives in a sort of faded social corner in our minds, the in-between land, a non-committal zone. We liken our situation to others who magically have made choices that ease their lives. Our situation seems comical to others who fancied what they should have fancied and didn't shoot for the stars.
"My lady dropped me
from a four story building..."

In the pain of a mix up, like picking the wrong gal, if one were living on Venus, he would be frozen, fried, and crushed in a Venus-crush. Every field he walks in would be filled with cockle-burrs, and ticks, that stick onto his flesh. And he has little choice but to rip them all off his skin, and continue roaming.
"She sure enough threw me
Off a four story house..."

Then, as a form of self-preserving, our minds lock onto a repeated utterance or theme. In the Blues song this is the Refrain. Some of these utterances coupled with melody can become the chant of an entire generation of human offspring. It can rock the micro waves till hotter than a moon beam.
When I dove,
My blood froze,
On that cold avenue.
She clapped her hands
whipped her hair, and s'ed
'Papa, that weren't cool.'

And so it is questionable who threw who, and what will become of him that hit the floor? Reminded that this is written in late winter, say March, and the beautiful death of winter can be another yet softer snow, covering every available surface. Hollers of people on the avenue are strangely reflected off each snowflake as cars, houses, eyebrows slowly collect snow. Voices carry on snowy evenings, and various tragic and humorous situations are picked up. All around cars are stuck in peculiar positions, dogs jump and bite the air, "Wasn't there a sidewalk there?" And words never convey all that is going on.

Out of diversity of life comes genius of adaptability in snow muffled cries of success and failure.

Old Jeff, Old Jeff,
c'mere and rest...
...Your toasted self...
Feeling kind of hungry,
just might be that you could help.






Monday, March 23, 2015

MooPig Billionaire-diot Department :: "Make the Bible a Textbook in Schools"

[Picture LINK]

Ego of Billionaires is Implausible
Data Remix by Pat Darnell  |  March Madness 23, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Not to worry. Billionaires are too far out of the loop to ever get their way. HA! Who talks to them after their first fortune? Only people trying to stroke the ego's of billionaires remain in the loop. To be in the Wilk's entourage, we imagine one would have to take a lot of abuse.

So where did they manage to make all their b-b-b-billions?
"...Last year, [2013] the Wilkses added about 12,380 acres to their Fergus County holdings alone, where they now hold title to about 91,450 acres – about 143 square miles. In nearby Golden Valley County to the south, the Wilks brothers added more than 8,700 acres to their holdings in 2013, boosting their property there to about 43,750 acres. In adjacent Musselshell County, their holdings held steady at 64,000 acres, land that encompasses the Pronghorn Ranch previously owned by Earl Holding of Sinclair Oil fame.
As of 2012, the brothers owned 276,000 acres in seven Montana counties, not counting their holdings in other states.
The Wilks brothers acquired their fortune from selling their interest in Frac Tech in 2011, a deal that was reportedly worth $3.2 billion. Frac Tech was an oil fracking business, the same technology that’s being used to fuel North Dakota’s Bakken oil shale boom (BRETT FRENCH Billings Gazette. Mar 1, 2014. LINK)..."

If you want to make big bucks in this country, 'guess you have to own lots of land and all its mineral rights. I am not making any friends by looking down on robber baron's largess ... if I were a person with position and/or power, as a person who has something to lose, I might profess a totally different cause for this tirade. But for now I am in a dither about the wasting of our land.
"...A scam is a fraudulent business scheme, or a swindle, and a deliberate ploy to defraud ignorant, naïve, and stupid people out of their money or assets.  There are many reasons idiots fall for obviously dubious “deals,” and stupidity aside, greed is often the culprit. But fear of losing something certainly plays a role. Republicans have had a thirty year run convincing stupid poor people looking to get rich, and morons terrified of other Americans taking their “stuff,” that giving up everything they have to the wealthy will magically transform a dirt-poor imbecile into a billionaire, save Americans’ liberty in the process, and teach the government who’s boss.(Rmuse. Sunday, March, 22nd, 2015. LINK)..."
This all started with this article:
Meet the Billionaire Brothers You Never Heard of Who Fund the Religious Right: "The fracking boom has produced a surge in wealthy Texans. The fracking boom has produced a surge in wealthy Texans. In 2002, the Wilks brothers created Frac Tech, which produced equipment used in fracking, or in industry parlance, “well stimulation services.”  In May 2011, Dan and Farris sold Frac Tech to a group of investors led by Singapore’s sovereign wealth fund for $3.5 billion. Their share was reportedly 68 percent of that total, and they showed up on the 2011 Forbes 400 list of the wealthiest Americans with an estimated net worth of $1.4 billion each.  The most recent Forbes list put their estimated wealth at $1.5 billion each. (In our gilded age, that puts them near the bottom of the Forbes 400, and barely gets them into the top 40 in Texas. But you can still do an awful lot with $3 billion.)"

And, why are billionaires always "moralists?"
"...CBN’s Brody reported: “The Wilks brothers worry that America’s declining morals will especially hurt the younger generation, so they’re using the riches that the Lord has blessed them with to back specific goals.” One of those goals may be David Lane’s insistence that politicians make the Bible a primary textbook in public schools (ibid. ) ..."
'via Blog this'

Small fish need not join this ring of fire. [At this point in time I am having second thoughts about the simplest thing, re-financing my little house and property.] You see, Timmy, when you are dealing out there, and you are a high roller, very few legal actions are followed. Most of the robber land barons depend on loopholes, stealth, extortion, and any other means to achieve their objective to own "land." Citizen groups usually find out about a shady land deal two to three years after it has been developed. Then the local politicians are just a bunch of "small fish" barking at the moon.

In land deals it takes about ten to twelve years to realize the returns on investment. Holding large parcels of land can be paid for by divvying up small parts of the whole and selling off to developers.

CONCLUSION
My bonnie lies over the ocean ... my bonnie lies over the sea ... this ditty is just like a land deal. The meaning is unclear, the outcome is based on some sort of shielded loyalty, it depends on a minority largess in heaps, and just doesn't quell the angry spirit of the excluded class. You see, the bonnie is not a girl at all, it is 'Bonnie Prince Charlie' (Y ikki peed ya. LINK).

And we often say we are going to quit writing about billionaires, and kings, and hucksters, but we still find them as good contrast to the middle class that reads us as we go along. Here is a Boy Scout version of 'Bring Back ...'
My mother makes beer in the bathtub,
My father makes synthetic gin,
My sister makes fudge for a quarter,
Wouldja believe how the money rolls in?
My mother, she drowned in the bathtub,
My father, he died from his gin,
My sister choked on her chocolate,
My stars, what a fix I am in.
SOUR GRAPES
This post made me: __feel better, __feel good, __feel like middle class, __feel poor, __feel like opening my Bible, __feel like vomiting...


__________________________Reference
http://prospect.org/article/meet-billionaire-brothers-you-never-heard-who-fund-religious-right
http://missoulian.com/news/state-and-regional/petition-asks-to-halt-montana-land-exchange-with-billionaire-wilks/article_61736ede-a1ca-11e3-88e0-0019bb2963f4.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Bonnie_Lies_over_the_Ocean
http://www.politicususa.com/2015/03/22/real-economist-krugman-calls-gop-budget-trillion-dollar-con-job.html

Friday, March 20, 2015

MooPig Brain Industries Department :: "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy -- ACT"

[Picture LINK unknown]

Empirical Status for ACT
Re-directed Articles by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 19, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Thanks to John Franks who posted about ACT on faceBook. Say you have a pet Narwhal, and it never seems to be happy in your pet palace you built for him. As he suffers, you also suffer, and things get all confused.

I think we may be on to something. ACT is a therapy that is being used in cases of PTSD. When my Dad was in his final days, he was at the VA Hospital, checked in for lots of old age ailments. His suffering was not pretty, nor quiet. I in fact suffer PTSD from his agonizing final journey. He used to say he had so many pains he couldn't count that high, and one of the results was that he would lash out at me, or whoever, was with him. He didn't mean it, it just happened. Communication broke down, and I couldn't get him what he needed to overcome his death rattle. He was hurting and what he said to me hurt. I absorbed his trauma.

But it was not a physical hurt, you know what I mean? But I as his son felt like I wanted to escape any of his criticisms of me during that episode. Escapism has been my whole life long journey, now that I have my father's death as a fixed point in time, maybe I don't have to escape anymore.

ACT | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science: "Developed within a coherent theoretical and philosophical framework, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a unique empirically based psychological intervention that uses acceptance and mindfulness strategies, together with commitment and behavior change strategies, to increase psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility means contacting the present moment fully as a conscious human being, and based on what the situation affords, changing or persisting in behavior in the service of chosen values."
'via Blog this'
"...Buttressed by an extensive basic research program on a associated theory of language and cognition, Relational Frame Theory (RFT), ACT takes the view that trying to change difficult thoughts and feelings as a means of coping can be counter productive, but new, powerful alternatives are available, including acceptance, mindfulness, cognitive defusion, values, and committed action..."
CONCLUSION
I need this therapy.

_____________________Reference
https://contextualscience.org/act
https://contextualscience.org/about_act
https://contextualscience.org/ACT_RFT_Reader_s_update
https://contextualscience.org/act_faq
https://contextualscience.org/act_in_popular_media
https://contextualscience.org/special_populations
https://contextualscience.org/marketing_materials
https://contextualscience.org/list_of_resources_for_learning_act
https://youtu.be/z-wyaP6xXwE


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

MooPig Language Department :: "Italian Fact of the Day #46: Pronunciation"

Italian Fact of the Day #46: Pronunciation - It's...: "Italians pronounce every letter in every word. This is an interesting contrast to French, a language [the writer] studied for eight years, which sometimes ignores the pronunciation of the last half of a word and replaces it with a breathy noise. Even Italian Americans ignore this fact of the Italian language when pronouncing Italian words. Often Italian Americans drop the last letter or two, contrary to Italians. “Mozzarella” becomes “mozzarel,”"
'via Blog this'


CONCLUSION
We be tootin' our own horn in 'dis malfunctious hip hop err der. So, betta stiffen up you bizkit an' put you'a bun inna oven, shitferbrains, befo' you getta eggplant. Pass me the fajol, and rigot.

______________________Reference
http://teresa-masterson.tumblr.com/post/50342652013/italian-fact-of-the-day-46-pronunciation-its


MooPig :poop: Department :: "Pet Lovers' Derivatives"

[Picture LINK] "..."You often have to carry a bag of hot poop for many long minutes while running into every attractive opposite-sex acquaintance you have."..."

"Scruffy has to go outside, Junior..."
Martial Mashed Article by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Test for whether one is a bonafide writer or not ... "How many times do you have to look up the difference between 'affect' and 'effect?'"

There are two kinds of people, those who let their pets poop all over, and those who let their pets poop all over but never mention it. I have been both kinds. Unfortunately, our pets' pooping all over affects our long-standing watersheds. See article below.

Are Americans ready to 'effect' martial law on pets pooping all over? Ha! *[Let's see if I did that correctly]*  LINK -- I still can't figure it out.

As a young person I let our Pekingese-Cocker-Spaniel, Baby, poop all over the back yard and just avoided it as I mowed the yard. As a young adult I let our Border Collie poop all over his dog run. I couldn't organize my own wastage's, how could I affectingly manage our pup's waste?

Now after several scat sorties by this blog, I find I am still dilettante, and never will get it through my thick skull that the pets are pooping all over the place. Unfortunately, I have genetically passed on this shortsightedness to my children.

No Poop Fairy, so manage your pets' waste - National Green Living | Examiner.com: "The most effective way for pet owners to limit their pet’s contribution to source water contamination is to simply clean up and dispose of pet waste. As long as the droppings are not mixed with other materials, pet waste should be flushed down the toilet."

"...[I]n Northern Virginia, a dog population of 11,400 is estimated to contribute about 5,000 pounds of solid waste every day and has been identified as a major contributor of bacteria to the stream. Nearly 500 fecal coliform samples have been taken from Four Mile Run and its tributaries since 1990, and about 50 percent of these samples have exceeded the Virginia State water quality standard for fecal coliform bacteria, according to EPA..."

CONCLUSION
Food in; poop out.

____________________Reference
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/affect-effect-grammar.html
http://www.examiner.com/article/no-poop-fairy-so-manage-your-pets-waste
http://www.dogster.com/lifestyle/dog-walking-picking-up-poop-bags



Tuesday, March 17, 2015

MooPig Brinkmanship Department :: "What me Party?"

Happy Ste Patrick's Day, Ya'll 
Martial Mixed Articles by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

Will the Ghosted spirit of Saint Patrick should raise him up from his deep sleep, and animate him that he blew his whistle to gather all the broods of vipers to be slewed by hymn in perfect balance with nature? Ah, ye can only wish. If'n Ste Pat could eradicate all the gossip that there is a two party system in the US by slewing their ranks, and shew there is an indentured slavery system to which justice must be served; Hear ye, hear ye, button up your over coats, for the cold chill of ineptitude covers the young buds with frost. Faeries dance about the tall hats of government imbeciles, and broadens their noses. What me Party? [what_me_ party.com does not come up on Google, ha ha!]

[Picture LINK]

Neither Major Party Cracks 40% Favorability in Latest Poll: "Bottom Line For some time, numerous Gallup trends have been showing Americans largely displeased with government's performance and leadership. Through it all, at least one political party was reviewed well, but now -- perhaps because of the constant brinkmanship going on between Obama and the Republican Congress, but maybe for other reasons -- both parties are floundering."
'via Blog this'

CONCLUSION
And here we have yet another day that as a retail flurry in eating and drinking opportunity dawns on March 17, 2015. GALLUP polls tends their lines to find out that nobody likes any of the politicians in the USA. Over 60% of the citizenry thinks unfavorably of the Democrats and the Republicans. We only say: "We told ya' so."


______________________Reference
http://www.gallup.com/poll/181985/neither-major-party-cracks-favorability-latest-poll.aspx
https://twitter.com/MADmagazine
http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2015/03/17/mads-tips-on-how-to-better-enjoy-the-st-patricks-day-parade-2015-edition
http://www.history.com/topics/st-patricks-day
http://www.st-patricks-day.com/
whatmeparty.com   ... this web page does not exist






MooPig :poop: Department :: "What 's in it for Me?"

MooPig Trend Spotter 
Re-directed youTube by Pat Darnell  |  Mar 17, 2015  |  Bryan TX

If you be poopin' you can bet that MooPig scatological will be snoopin' and we got your back-side. Benny Hill couldn't have done this commercial as well as she does it. Bovines and all, if it smells you still think you are in Nirvana. What's in it for me is that I don't have to sit on a warm toilet seat after you and also smell your deposits. Warm seats is bad enough.

Girls Don’t Poop – Poopourri.com | Poo~Pourri | Spritz the bowl before you go and no one else will ever know: " Poo-Pourri is a blend of essential oils that virtually eliminates bathroom odors! Our award-winning before-you-go® sprays come in a variety of scents and sizes. "
'via Blog this'




CONCLUSION
Product gets 4.5 flushes out of 5. We LIKE.

___________________________Reference
http://www.poopourri.com/


Thursday, March 05, 2015

MooPig Internet Disclaimers Department :: "Here's a Doozy ..."

Copyright - 2014 Money Map Press, LLC. The Money Map Press is a publishing company that does not act as a personal investment advisor for any specific individual. Nor do we advocate the purchase or sale of any security or investment for any specific individual. The proprietary recommendations and analysis we present to readers is for the exclusive use of subscribers. Readers should be aware that although our track record is highly rated, and has been legally reviewed for presentation in this invitation, investment markets have inherent risks and there can be no guarantee of future profits. Likewise, our past performance does not assure the same future results. Warning: The past performance of any trade whether actual or hypothetical is not necessarily an indication of future results. Stocks, futures, currencies, commodities, CFDs, options and all types of investment trading can have large potential rewards, but also carry large potential risks. We make absolutely no representation that gains or losses demonstrated in services published by Money Map Press LLC are likely or achievable. Hypothetical trading examples also cannot possibly take into account the impact of liquidity or buyer and seller demand, and do not allow for slippage and associated trading costs and concerns. One must be aware of the risks and be willing to accept them in order to invest in the markets. One should never trade with money that one cannot afford to lose, and one must accept that there will be losses, and one must be able to sustain these losses, both from a financial as well as an emotional perspective. Recommendations are for the exclusive use of subscribers and can change at any time. This work is based on SEC filings, current events, interviews, corporate press releases, and what we've learned as financial journalists. It may contain errors and you shouldn't make any investment decision based solely on what you read here. It's your money and your responsibility. [ http://pro.moneymappress.com/MMRBSSH39PPM3/PMMRR269/?iris=267040&h=true ]

[Did you actually take time to read that?]








Unless referenced with a LINK or caption, this is a bunch of pirated MEME's from faecesBook, YouTuber, Tweet'um and Tweet'um dee, Redditt, and other places where sources have been lost and are unknown. Give 'em Hell Henry. If you are offended then ASWC ... ask someone who cares.
http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/Ask+Someone+Who+Cares



__________________________Reference
http://www.seqlegal.com/free-legal-documents/website-disclaimer
http://law.tm/disclaimers.html
http://www.goldmark.org/jeff/stupid-disclaimers/
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/disclaimer
http://www.dol.gov/dol/disclaim.htm
http://lolsnaps.com/funny/41708






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A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"

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GAZA by Pat Darnell for the Age of Attritionally Challenged

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