Moo Pig Wisdom is a brilliant combination of Antiquity and Prequel Modern Flea Market. We respectfully ask you to mind your children while here.

Thursday, January 31, 2008


Friendster Editor "I pity the, Fool!"
MySpace Editor at MySpace ToolBox

Show Me the Stardust! Subjectivity of Music: Record you guys, RECORD! More Recordings, Now!

Honestly, the first time I heard Bob Dylan "perform" I was as happy as the day I learned I have to defecate everyday I am alive. I was suddenly the outsider, like Ayla the banished blonde in Clan of the Cave Bear novel series by J.M. Auel. "This is what I have to listen to if I am going to be a cool insider with the girls and guys?" thought I, at the tender age of 12.

Okay, such a reaction deserves some explanation. So, I did some research; this one took a long time. I'd say about 48 seconds later, I realized that Rap did the same to me and caused lower bowel reactions as well.

It turns out, Scatological Music might not be a category at Best Buy, however, I am here to witness and comment, so here it is.

Rap is the new Dylan that burgeons from Irish Pub scat.

Folk music has been coming to us in the present through the outhouses of time for centuries. How we sing and play is only a reverberation of what has been, and the useless sound bytes of what it is today. Today, however it is not live stuff, rather recordings and those recordings go on forever, remashed and sampled.

If you are a musician and you don't record, then you will only become the sunbeam that propels some apish mimick into stardom. You want examples? Here:

From the annals of myspace we get this stuff: "Roger Daughtry Keith Richards Anthony Kiedis Twiggy Jack White Dave Navarro Hugh Laurie And some dead people that I wish were alive... John Lennon ... 'If you think holding hands is all in the figers, grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers.' Megan, Female 20 years old Savannah, GEORGIA United States on myspace ?????

(spell check, dear one) Hey wait, those guys aren't all dead yet!

...Roger Daughtry Mick Jagger MC Hammer Elvis Presley Bob Dylan Snoop Dog Gene Simmons Harry Connick, Jr. Sir/Ms Elton John Bon Voyage' Jovi... you go on and list more in this mess of gimmicks; these are all latent wankers and tossers, because they are a few that come to mind who lived and perished the oats of the live and fully chopped trombonists, fender pickers, upright bassists... and frogs on the way to a gig~ who no 20 year old has heard of because there are no recordings to fast forward to the next generation of listeners! Open letter to all Megan's:

Julie Zuluaga
Luther Hughes
John Hughes
Hardly Human (eight piece band for chris' sake!)
The Mackrosoft...
Gary Hodges, and that's just the "H's"

This all comes about because I happened on to a web-site that features where I find the kinda thing that might keep me from yelling like I am today. I have been angry at the sick prince of anti-music for a decade for sounds to come out of the speakers that aren't anti-music! God has answered an old man's prayer. You too can get sanctified, keep searching.

Fortunately, features "Real throats, real shuffling, and real hearts; and usually unsung these artists do it better than those who steal, mimick and go to Hair Transplants for aged Rock 'n Roll Men."

You know I look back and my middle school band teacher, Mr. Munson, had more talent than the gathering of excrement that keeps getting re-hashed, and played all over from overhead bose speakers at Krogers to College Station North-Gate. The bouquet has become unbearable.

Show me you got the stardust in you. Come out, come out where ever you are, and record the living daylights out of your PC's, let us subjective half-brained listeners hear it. Start your own underground Area 42, for Chris's sake, if record companies are all prick-ly's, circumnavigate them.

There is unlimited band-width in photonics, like a smizzzural gillion levels of light waves available to you real shaker/choppers. What I would give to be in a hole-in-the-wall, listenin' to dusty Martins, with Billy the Hat drawin' from some back factory of lyrics. But I am limited too, like so many aged prime 'Bay Boomers ( So I gotta bring it home. I don't care if it sounds like someone holding a Hello Kitty microphone up to your performance: Record ya' bastards!

In conclusion: Many of us are sick of the Beatles, I certainly am. Lots of us don't have a radio on anymore, its too damn feeble. What do I like? Well, record your best chops and let me see if that is the stuff. Listeners, yeah you Megan, go to cdbaby and start a revolution!

There I wrote it. That's all I've got today. >pd

RIP early News Story Department: DGA thinks document is dodgy

Late breaking Writers's Strike advisory: The fifth draft of the tentative agreement between writers and distributors was received by the DGA yesterday from the opposing side, Jan 30, 2008 at 6PM. Writers huddled and quickly spotted flawed plot segments, over-staging and slipshod grammar. Union leaders perused for ambivalence.

Crunch writers then split up into teams and edited to include a darker foreshadow of verasimilitude objectives. Their thinking is that this will pop out what is implicit to the design and nature understudy of character development. Several parlays later, comes a call for a new scene to be written.

Writers have stayed up all night rewriting and will have a rough draft... if not full first revised draft of the fifth draft ready for Distributors to read tomorrow morning.

This just in -- Barry White has offered his blanket support for the new draft, and will be present at the submittal this morning. Also joining will be L. Ron Hubbard in a fancy ship from Venus. (RIP, 2008/Jan/31, newswire, 2:35 AM)

Professional Band Naming, a Startup bidness for you!

Stolen from Avitable
How to Make Your Own Band Album Cover:
1. Click Here for the band name The first article title is the name of your band.
2. Click Here for the album title. The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. Click Here for the album art. The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Like this:
Harry Kandel
I don't have anybody to respect

Coincidental Note: Harry Kandel (1885 Lemberg, Galicia - 1943 USA, Philadelphia) was an American clarinetist and bandleader, one of the pioneers of modern klezmer music. He ran an orchestra which consisted of a variety of instruments, including himself on clarinet, trombone, tuba, xylophone, cornet, violin, flute, viola and piano. Their hits peaked from about 1916 to 1927, and included "Der shtiler Bulgar", a 1926 song that was later recorded by Benny Goodman as "And the Angels Sing" and Ziggy Elman as "Fralich in Swing". (Why Iki Peed Ya)

Monday, January 28, 2008

Tat not for Tit

Well, Weeeeee Doggie Jethro, another blatant bash on Billary, as Barack is bidded top billing in race to embrace Presidential candidacy by the Irish bunch. [note to self] Someone needs to write up some pre-nuptials for a marriage made unleavened...
Kennedy Snubs Clintons, Backs Obama
By JEFF ZELENY and CARL HULSE,The New York Times
Posted: 2008-01-28 10:05:12
Filed Under: Elections News
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (Jan. 28) -- Senator Edward M. Kennedy, rejecting entreaties from the Clintons and their supporters, is set to endorse Senator Barack Obama’s presidential bid on Monday as part of an effort to lend Kennedy charisma and connections before the 22-state Feb 5 showdown for the Democratic nomination.

...Click on the title and go to aol news page for gossip on this, or not.Click through the photos on those pages for the answers. such as Question: Who is Sylvester Stallone supporting? Do you care who other celebrities are endorsing?

Pig says: "When I was in fifth grade I had a girlfriend named Karen Kay Kennedy: I wonder who she is voting for ?"

Answers Bull Calf: "Oh, KKK, ha ha; Pig, go suck on a slim Jim!"
Sarcasm Aside: Who AreThey [really] O'Backing?

"Caroline Kennedy wrote in a New York Times editorial Saturday that she supports Democrat Barack Obama."

Kill Bill Three, yo!
picture left: Too bad Hillary is not Irish, just married Irish.

"Mr. Kennedy called Mr. Clinton Sunday to tell him of his decision...
"The endorsement, ...which followed a public appeal on Mr. Obama’s behalf by Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of President John F. Kennedy, was a blow to the Clinton campaign and pits leading members of the nation’s most prominent Democratic families against one another." (2008, Jan 28)
Picture right: [So, the Kennedy's loaded up the truck and moved to Ala-O'Bama -- Hills that is... swimming pools, movie stars]
Meanwhile back at the Kennedy Compound: "On the night of Mr. Obama’s national political debut at the Democratic National Convention in 2004, he was preceded on stage by Mr. Kennedy, a symbolic bookend of the party’s dean and its new generation.
"A year later, near the end of Mr. Obama’s first year in the Senate, Ethel Kennedy asked him to speak at a ceremony for her husband’s 80th birthday. At the time, she referred to Mr. Obama as 'our next president.'
"'I think he feels it. He feels it just like Bobby did,' Mrs. Kennedy said in an interview that day, comparing her late husband’s quest for social justice to Mr. Obama’s. 'He has the passion in his heart. He’s not selling you. It’s just him.'” (2008, Jan 28.)

Picture right: Talk about your back-stabber, Bill might be going Tanisia all up on your backside, Ethel! surmises MooPig political analysts.
October 6, 2006 -- "At the gala, Ethel Kennedy presented the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Ripple Of Hope Award to President William Jefferson Clinton for his commitment to a more just and peaceful world..." MooPig asks: Is Bill no longer Ethel's favorite samba partner?

There you have it folks, "O'Kennedy bestowed a shellalagh and bar of Irish Spring on o'barack... (made for a man, aye, but the colleens like it too). Schools with an especially egregious record of and we'll be right o'barack!!" We at MooPig like to think our polls have made the swing vote occur [refer to MPW sidebar polls] Kennedy to O'bama, the Irish- Black ticket, is our first indication of the villain choosing the protagonist. MooPig still endorses Hillary as the goto gal, and has some advice for our leading lady:
"We are beginning to think Senator Clinton needs a 'B' added to her name to receive more Celeb/Democrat endorsements: such as "HillaryB," pronounced hill a rib. Having a 'B' in your presidential name has been big for nye 16 years now," says pig editors. "Its a trend not to be ignored."
According to, Senate fossil Teddy, DemMass, and ex-Pres B. Clinton are lookalikes. (2008,; MooPig guesses Teddy could not bear that he has a look alike in Bill Clinton, so he prompted to go with the opposites attraction forces, you know, Jungle Fever style... >pd/draft

Pribek, Jack; 8/Jan/2008. Is Bill Clinton turning into Ted Kennedy? retrieved today at:

Thursday, January 24, 2008

"Well, I think that you guys need to start looking at my dads polls, they're really awesome."

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Helium Three -- 3He

posted on 9-5-2007 @ 07:31 AM

Potential Energy Breakthrough: Alternative Approach to Fusion Energy
This story has been covered on ATS previously largely as a result of Dr. Brussard's presentation at Google. A recent article about Dr. Brussard's work prompted me to re-post what I believe is a very important issue. You can find an earlier ATS thread here. The recent article is here. The 90min Google video is here. The Google video is quite technical. However, if you can hang in there you'll come to understand how truly important this gentleman's work is. Dr. Brussard is no basement inventor. He has spent his life working under governmnet, DOD and US Navy contracts. Most recently he and his team have spent 12yrs researching and developing an alternative approach to fusion. His system produces no radioactive waste and is a fraction of the size (and cost) of the DOD's favored approach (which produces radioactive tritium as a byproduct --- used in nuclear weapons). Dr. Brussard has worked out all of the physics for his system, has built and successfully tested several smaller scale prototypes and only needs to develop the engineering to bring this technology to market. He believes it would take only 5-6yrs to make his system commercially available. The only thing he needs is private sector funding and engineering talent. This is potentially the real deal. I urge ATSers to watch the video and learn about this man and his work.

Writers of Blogs on STRIKE, Day Four

Bloggers on Strike Day Four

While we are waiting for the Bloggers Strike to end... here is a little cultural pearl for you reader:

“The writer who shuts himself up in a room and goes on a journey inside himself will, over the years, discover literature’s eternal rule: he must have the artistry to tell his own stories as if they were other people’s stories, and to tell other people’s stories as if they were his own, for that is what literature is.” — Orhan Pamuk. 2007. ‘My father’s suitcase’. The New Yorker. 1 Jan., p. 88.


Blogger is the Narrator of the Writers's Strike: Day Three
MooPig has this news item for readers concerned about the Blogger Strike. Organizers admitted to using the movie "the Royal Tenenbaums" as a encrypted code for the ensuing five year effort.

"We've been planning our walkout since December 2001, using 'the Royal Tenenbaums' movie release date as our clock. We inserted tags into the blogging community code under the tag 'OWILSON.' At the time we were in a microcosm of .com fascism, and wanted to do something in the face of criminals" says undisclosed source. "We figured we would find a common thread throughout the blogosphere in time to thwart chaos. That's why we thought MooPig was on to us, with their Quantum Chaos Randomizer. MooPig in its search for soul and sacrifice helped us move our plans up several notches. Many projects were finished ahead of schedules," said the source.
Owen Wilson is co-producer of the movie, thus ~OWILSON. MooPig has asked IT experts if they understand the encryption. "I do not see the reason for this grand effort by these so-called strikers," says a reliable source. "I am of the opinion it has not been the work of one master crazy person. Rather it is the culmination of several levels of organized teamwork."
MooPig editors look to the movie itself for clues. Here is a synopsis of the movie for those who haven't seen it: [LOS EXCÉNTRICOS TENENBAUMS, for Spanish press Two now]
Director/writer Wes Anderson and writer/actor Owen Wilson take a twisted look at a bizarre dysfunctional family of geniuses in their new film, "The Royal Tenenbaums." Told by way of a narrator, the film is described by Anderson as a movie that is a book, rather than a movie based on a book.
"Remember, during the day you could be only 6 degrees from a Tenenbaum at any moment," says cinematic intelligence agency, CIA, researcher Baub Bassetbaum.
"Royal's attempts at garnering sympathy are met with opposition and distrust by all members of his family except for Richie and Chas' two curly-haired sons.
"Worming his way into their lives, he discovers that, despite himself, he did genuinely miss having been a part of each of their extraordinary lives.
"Anderson and Wilson do a commendable job of showing that families are made up of individuals tied together by more than just blood. It takes more than mere words - or a few physical gestures - to make a family work. In "The Royal Tenenbaums," Anderson and Wilson allow personalities to evolve, allow bad guys to get second chances, and let love find its own unique path to heal wounds and mend hearts."
In addition: Investigators reported last evening of successfully calculating location for the source of strike mentality. You guessed it: triangulated signals put the source smack dab in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. The plot thickens, and swells, and becomes gelatinous.
And that's not all, Singapore correspondents allude to even a thicker plot:

"I ended up giving my wife my tenderloin and foie gras.

"Such sacrifice.

"As I struggled to finish the pasta, all lights went out and the soap suds snow starting spewing to the beat of Xmas music blasting in the background.

"I buried my face deep into the pasta.

"Then, Santa and his angels, yes, angels, made their rounds to each table. Couples eagerly hugged Santa while having their picture taken.

"Santa walks past us.

"OOoohhh! The pong!

"Santa stinks!

"For those of you do not know what Singapore is like, think Hawaii or Jamaica weather all year round. Then think of what happens if you wore a Santa suit in the tropical climate?

"All wonderful memories of Santa using Old Spice as aftershave from an old TV commercial, dissipated.

"Santa really stinks! The Wife and I bury our heads even deeper into our pasta. How could anyone hug smelly Santa?"

Santa Claus, Singapore, Bermuda Triangle, the Royal Tennenbaums; Have we just entered the world of Mis-Direction? or is this the 'Twilight Zone?' >pd/final draft2

This is Writers's probable reason for Guild Strikes; Who's gonna Pay?

In the news this week has been questions of "how long can the networks continue running repeats of Xena: Warrior Princess and I Love Lucy?" My favorite -- the History Channel -- hasn't had any new programs on for months. SciFi is looking more like if-sic, and so on. What do the Writers's Guild want? Who you gonna' call?

Looking for a pay raise has its moments. Why they strike is because they cannot get paid residuals according to the new technology that looms on the horizons. Bah, Humbug you say.
That is why MooPig opens up a big can of:


The convergence of electronic entertainment devices such as TV's, DVD players, and stereos with personal computers is finally starting to happen.

Purpose-built computers with direct support from Microsoft in the form of Windows XP Media Center Edition are available now. Even better news for the do-it-yourselfer is the availability of devices and software to create your own Home Theater PC (HTPC). Building a low budget HTPC was on my list of summer projects and this effort was greatly facilitated by the arrival of ADS Tech's "Instant TV" USB 2.0 TV Tuner.

Instant TV is an external USB 2.0 device that features a TV tuner and the capabilities of a Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In addition to watching television on a computer monitor (or television using TV-Out, the Instant TV can record to a hard drive, directly to a CD or DVD disc in VCD, SVCD, or DVD format, and perform Time-Shift recording functions.
Installing it
Installation is very simple, as one would hope with an external USB product. The product box and provided documentation very clearly state that Windows XP and USB 2.0 are required. XP is necessary to write directly to CD/DVD media and USB 2.0 is required for the throughput of the audio and video stream.

The software is installed before the hardware and includes an audio and video driver. Please note that they have been updated since the product release and can be downloaded from ADS Tech. The installer checks for Windows XP Service Pack 1 and if it is not found it will install Microsoft's USB 2.0 drivers.

The tuner can be plugged into a USB 2.0 port once the drivers are installed. The tuner requires a coaxial cable connection, but not a separate power source. Unfortunately, removing the tuner also means reinstalling the driver software. You don't have to use the installation CD each time, but you will have to click on numerous dialog boxes while the audio and video drivers reinstall. This isn't a crippling problem, but it is rather irritating... Poor us. MooPig Note: this unit is available at some WalMarts for under $100 including tax, if not available online. >pd
ADS Tech: retrieved at today.


Boggled & Blogged
Bunged highways are not an unusual occurrence in Houston. Absence of collisions is a new concept, that has police confused. Certain groups have shut down the highway to our Blogoshpere, in a collision-free coupe. Was it by subversion; does it pose any threat?

The quiet hum of the Internet is appreciably quickened at the start of the BLOGGER STRIKE yesterday. Somehow 'http://~header' has been replaced nationwide with 'http://~STRIKE Blogger.'

MooPig has been running extra shifts to make sure it is available when the news comes out. "We have assembled a team of cracker jack Aggies at an undisclosed location to monitor and report."

Apparently last night two people were taken into custody. Websites led special agents to an industrial office park in Valparaiso, IN. It turns out all pre-planned as at that location were a man and a woman in their late twenties who had handcuffed themselves to a post in their office. Some say the postal event was recorded of course by live feed webcam. The tiny surveillance cameras were fitted in NY ballplayer B. Williams' bobble head dolls all around the room.

Alledgedly son of billionaire Roy Welch, Roy jr., and Annabelle Leviton have been monitoring players of parts in a game called "Attrition."

Early views of the video recording shows Roy, jr. sort of spelled it out for us in the video stream, before the detectives arrived. He said, "After 9/11 his research team stumbled upon a quatrain written by Nostradmus that alluded to a Scribe Walkout in late 2001." It also referred to a communication break in long-standing invisible waves upon the air occurring about 2012.

"We started right away in 2001 organizing Internet Protocol state-of-the-art into a second internet, using rapid xenon processing," says Roy in the video. "We relied on web crawls through the IP to supply us with the body of knowledge we would need to start up. For instance we searched for the ignition key for the large subdural bootlog, and we found the answer in a business log. We needed the cosmic debris of baby Giraffes being born, so we set up shop at the Herman Park Zoo Giraffe tunnel. Yes, docents aided us in that task, and it works."

In interview with a docent on duty at the Hermann Park Zoo's Giraffe Tunnel, she offered this: "Well, giraffes do have seven neck bones."

"We needed a substantial grounded housing; we found willing Texans to fund our activity and help us. We chose the locomotive at Herman Park in Houston as the best low lying remote grounded vehicle," says Annabelle. "The Miller Outdoor Theartre Roof nearby is the dish we use to communicate with the satellite that Texans sent to orbit for us late in 2001."

"Even though it all seems clandestine; we are allowing ourselves to be incarcerated today in civil protest of the way writers are treated throughout history. If we don't do this now, who knows what will happen in 2012?" says Roy, jr.

Good question says MooPig. "Giraffes, tin roofs, quatrains, clandestine satellites? What next?" >pd/draft

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Bulletin: BLOGGER STRIKE / Day One

MOO PIG Special Report!!!!!
The steady thrush of QWERTY keyboards is hushed Nationwide...
MooPig thinks it may be Grand Acronym Mass Hysteria
Late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning Academicians who say they are frustrated went on strike. What follows is another Moo Pig Exclusive Scoop. Late Tuesday night 64% of blogs went silent. Yes, Frustrated Academicians have followed suit with the Writers Guild. "Apparently the only blogs still active," says spokesperson, "are blogs by:
  • Insurance sales groups,
  • Hairdressers,
  • and, Pilots of the Caribbean."
Early back-link studies show the blogger zero is an addres callout: http://Roy_Al_Les_Tennenbaum.blahger/~/amaboyrallih+Huma@Buddenbrooks.fred
"A highly subversive blog has been operating out of the Giraffe tunnel at the Houston Hermann Park Zoo," reports one source close to the event. "The hot spot has been the antique steam locomotive that had been parked outside the Zoo gates." The Locomotive had been a Herman Park landmark for over fifty years. It was relocated to the Houston RR Museum. The museum is located at 7390 Mesa Road on Houston's northeast side.

Specifications of the steam locomotive are Houston, Hermann Park-SP (T&NO) 982 (2-10-2), Baldwin '19 and

Visitor One enters the newly relocated land-bound Locomotive. Visitors never knew that there were 1700 pounds of Xenon processing equipment humming in the boilers of the landmark engine. Early reports can't confirm when the processors might have been put into the nose of the locomotive.

MooPig has been contacted by spokespeople Blog Out '08, who have asked us to stay online with reports from their point of view. "We will not let amaboyrallih extinguish the last hope of freedom," said the transmission. MPW will honor the request. "Possibly understanding the Writers Guild Strike will help in finding out why the blog-nation is trying to leverage the Internet protocol." To MooPig it looks like acronym hysteria.
Strike: Writers Looking At the Fine PrintBy Brian Stelter

Updated, 6:59 p.m. January 17, 2008 As the industry rushed to interpret the Directors Guild of America’s deal with the studios, the Writers Guild of America said it would carefully evaluate the terms of the agreement:

"Now that the DGA has reached a tentative agreement with the AMPTP, the terms of the deal will be carefully analyzed and evaluated by the WGA, the WGA’s Negotiating Committee, the WGAW Board of Directors, and the WGAE Council. We will work with the full membership of both Guilds to discuss our strategies for our own negotiations and contract goals and how they may be affected by such a deal.

For over a month, we have been urging the conglomerates to return to the table and bargain in good faith. They have chosen to negotiate with the DGA instead. Now that those negotiations are completed, the AMPTP must return to the process of bargaining with the WGA. We hope that the DGA’s tentative agreement will be a step forward in our effort to negotiate an agreement that is in the best interests of all writers."
>pd/final draft

On Blog-Gigs; what dedication!

Please, kind readers, tune in to this hard-working blogger, PIXELMARX... it is a work...
"There are times when a pen is mightier than than the keyboard and satire more revealing than the truth. And so IrishSpacemonk has put his political thoughts into a cartoon blog just about every day since July 30th, 2007.
"...And a tip to any new blogger looking to start out…look for an idea that allows balance, and that’s maintainable. Post everyday for the first 30 days to establish your blog. But then have that evaluation period, and don’t keep posting just because. You need to rest."
"This probably happens to every anxious blogger that enters the blogosphere. You post obsessively for a month, watching your stats, hoping to see your authority on Technorati increase, or your page rank eventually happen on Google. You make friends, you comment on other blogs, you work 24/7.
And then sometimes nothing happens. Or a lot happens but not the sort of happening you hoped for. You start to question all your efforts but enough good happens to keep you going. You keep posting every day.
"About the time you start to see success…you get really tired. So tired, that it takes more success the next day to keep your posts coming.
"Do you give up? No, of course not. You’re still in denial. You still think it’s a maintainable system to pull off 80 hours weeks between your full-time day job and your full-time blog. (By the way, I truly believe creativity cannot happen in a tired mind.)
"Then events happen that are never expected. Tipping points that make your realize you’re going to have to make a decision. You’re going to have to trust that people will still visit without posting every day. You have to trust that the foundation you’ve built will last.
Yes, this cartoonist is at that point.
"PixelMarx was launched as a simple experiment: Draw one political cartoon every day until the election of 2008. The first cartoon took exactly 1 hour. The quality sucked. By the end of the week, the cartoon quality had increased dramatically, but each drawing now required 3 hours from start to post. And that didn’t include the time necessary to nurture the site, and grow its web presence.
"...30 days became a target date for evaluation. And 30 days passed with success. But the evaluation never happened. It was just easier to keep on drawing.
"Then this blogger realized quality was better than quantity - after a few select cartoons really started to draw traffic. This happened last week, and ever since then I’ve been debating posting this third blogger bomb - The Dose of Reality.
"For my regular readers - thank you. And keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe to my RSS feed so you only visit when I have a new post.
"I do plan to keep posting, just not every day.
For those readers just visiting, take some time and explore. And a tip to any new blogger looking to start out…look for an idea that allows balance, and that’s maintainable. Post everyday for the first 30 days to establish your blog. But then have that evaluation period, and don’t keep posting just because. You need to rest. At least that’s what the Doc’s told this IrishSpacemonk." (retrieved today from: )
Hey all you MooPigs, I could not say this any better. You remember me telling you about my problem with sleep deprivation? It's all Cosmically Connected, like Kozmic Debris. >pd

MooPig Supports the Hill Click Link here for compendium of knowledge that is our candidate; in her own words!
Readers: don't let MooPig Down, a vote for Hillary is, well, a Vote for Hillary!

"It is a Miracle: Just a swipe of Hillary's hand turns George W. back into a toddler," shown at last night's meeting of the NYGiants.

George W. had wanted to show Hillary NYDem, he can hit as hard as NYGiant's front line, instead he got the fountain of youth.

At this Kodak moment Hillary reportedly might have said: "Kindness does not deserve kindness? Eh, Georgie Boy?"

"Blart!!" gurgled W.
[Translation by MooPig: "W warrants: ...that random acts of kindness will always be paid forward in a society like middle America."]

Hillary might have probably then turned to her personal aide, Huma Abedin [Lawdin] and could have whispered: "Get me the f8^*k out of here; that kid just shi*&t his diaper. Mothahf*&&r, phewww!!" The girls then skid-daddled across the street to meet up with Ralph, Pierre, Oscar, Osama and, oh yeah, Bill.

To the Hill with Hillary.

Bald Pate in 2008!

We Love Huma, too! Just like You!

And... Who's the Cuckold now, Bill?
Adopt our Slogans Department.
Pin the tail at Elephant/Donkey.huh?

MooPig on the campaign trail, at the tail end..."What a mess!" MPW/pd/final draft

River Polls

River Bottom Community drives politics, not Politics drives community.

A late breaking word from our East St. Louis correspondent Dint Lareaux, is just come in:
":go ahead Dint!"

"As we rolled into town, there was obvious discontent with Hillary," says Dint. "See this KFC sign in the central business district? It reads: Hillary Special, 2 Fat thighs, with small breast and a Left Wing. Now how do you suppose they determine the 'left wing on a chicken?"

"We sure don't know, Dint," says the studio.

"It has to do with some sly river-wit that only is understood by the residnets," says Dint

"We are running a poll in the bottom lands near where the Missouri and Mississippi River join. There is a pocket of voters in here who are twenty-three generations of bog-trotters. Their vote often tells us how so goes the federal voting in November," explains Dint.

"These Americans are little known outside the bog-trotter profession -- and very hard to find sometimes, this last nomadic group may not survive the next century, unless they adopt some changes," says Dint. "But the looks of things is more like they are living high off the hog."

"Yew, gwain twa intoovew me?" asked a little girl.
"Yew see, we getta finger marked blue after we voted," said the little girl's mother.

"We were able to capture this beautiful scene just outside the Mayor's Mansion," says Dint. "Well, that's all from the bottom lands. I have to get to the Pub before the snow gets any deeper."

Monday, January 21, 2008


This year, Super Bowl is just a Pre-Pro Bowl Scrimmage, by Pat Darnell
MooPig Wisdom on 21 Jan 2008 11:45

Let me get this straight: Giants, then, are heavy underdogs for Super Bowl XLII? That supports my point.

Basking in glory of yesteryear and of post-game drain of Sunday’s collide between old-time rivals:

"We are not picking teams; we are picking a game," says retrospective MooPig and friends. "And we feel the game isalready been played: Bay against York!" says MooPig editors on previous Saturday posts. In other words for old-timers in our group the Super Bowl is already done. Next week Super Bowl is ‘ahem, like a pre-season scrimmage for Pro-Bowl encounter to follow from Hawaii. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

“This weekend [past] I and the Pig [have been]anticipating the championship between Packers and Giants to be the only game worth watching for the year; Favre versus Manning; Old man being challenged by the younger bucker,” said bloggers of MooPig friends on Sunday morning. “I bet the network, FOX this year, will have fewer viewers on Super Bowl Sunday than those who monitored Sundays’ battle at Lambeau,” says Blown-nee from Houston.

Now it’s moot, but we still feel the game ended as it should with the younger blooded QB overcoming the veteran ball handler. “Wow, it looks like Brett can’t focus... look at his face,” said Whats_ur_t_time via webcam from Zeeland, Michigan in the final minutes of regular play. “Yeah, he looks beaten down just enough to not be at his best. ...And look at his eyes all watery from the freezing chill.” Just then Mr. Favre threw the ball like it was a Buick right to Giant’s CB.

Cameras panned and went in close to Favre's face, that is, the exposed parts that were flaking off in the weekend chill. Remarks of minus thirty made MooPig’s little finger and left eyelid start to ache in memory of 30 below wind chills, while trying to work outside at 38 north latitude of the windy city. “That’s why we left Chicago,” says Arthur_itis, the MP clan leader, now retired in TX at a warmer 61 degrees yesterday. "Look at Favre's face. He looks like Schwartzeneggar at the end of T-2."

Hey, compare this one to the NY Jets and Baltimore Colts of Super bowl fame III, 1968 season end, asks the collective of old-timers in cyber sphere.

Was or was not trapeze act of Manning and Burress too much like past tandem act of Joe Namath and Donald Maynard. Namath and his linemen invented the 4000 yards passing records for the next 3 generations of footballers. Superman Johnny Unitas on the other hand was the ground and pound school.

Besides reinventing football offense with the forward pass, after Namath’s knees were patched up many times, someone invented the no hitting the QB below the waist... roughing the passer rules. The Baltimore Colts’ defense would rush in low and grab Namath’s legs and twist like killer alligators. Joe “Broadway” Namath would fall like a twist of rope, as his pass was more often on target and caught. "Yeah, now if you stomp too loudly around the passer, flags fly," says 6foot5 from Missouri.

All else is just moot. Plaxico "Plexiglas" Burress was as transparent as a schooner, and as transcendent as Chriss Angel, as the playing field became less and less level, leaning down hill for Burress and Manning’s aerial aerobics.

Another trend grist could lie in “...the 1958 team, led by coach Weeb Ewbank and quarterback Johnny Unitas defeated the New York Giants at Yankee Stadium 23-17 in the NFL championship game. The game, the first-ever utilizing the overtime rule, is generally considered to be among the greatest contests in professional football history. [Why Iki Peed ya] wikipedia, retrieved today.
So, before I forget why I’m commenting this morning, I want to thank the teams and fans, writers and bloggers in here, and especially the Television groups for bringing me unforgettable images from yesterday’s hostile environment.

We must never forget this is a game of blood and muscle, and the forty yard dash. "How fast the heart recovers after its effort to propel the body of large human determines how fast the limbs recover," says osgood_slaughtery our local Pop Warner coach. In Sunday’s playoff I saw the full Monty of human effort, and the younger QB Eli recovered his circulatory quicker to outlast the older Brett just long enough to get the ball first back into field-goal range.

MooPig very much wants to congratulate the teams for giving us fans one of the grandest Championship games in our viewing history. Also, many viewers were hooting and hollering at the Rustler’s Rest, Houston, and all afternoon as they stopped by to get some supplies, or to get warm.

We asked Grace, matriarch of RusRest, if she was cold, hanging around the store: “No, but I’m going to get one of those heated benches like those guys are sitting on.” It made us all think and we decided the Giants’ benches must have been powered by the bunny who keeps on going, going, and going all the way to Jupiter. "Hey, just ask NASA." >pd

Friday, January 18, 2008

Lyrics Day: Cosmik Debris, Frank Zappa

As Zappa puts it: “We’re satirists, and we are out to satirise everything.” [ Miles, 2004, Frank Zappa, p. 135-138. ]

The mystery man came over
And he said Im outta sight!
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me
But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, dont waste your time on me
The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin his box wont do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But itll cure your asthma too
And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, dont waste your time on me
(dont waste your time)
Ive got troubles of my own, I said
And you cant help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the light
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldnt even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!
And I said look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?
Dont you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, dont waste your time on me
Dont waste it, dont waste your time on me

What ever happened to the Old Rugged Cross?

Seems trivial to go on about the splinters and knot holes of life, but...

probably continue this stream will I till the day I expire.
Is it
Brain stimulus,
wide open at early stages
then retains previous levels
of respiration and spinal fluids. Or something like that.

Attention Ignaries: The XLII SuperBowl will actually be played this Weekend... as far as I'm concerned

LBDA aside, Giants will come down the Beanstalk this weekend:
OOPs, wrong giants......

Giants and Packers may very well not be personified names of animals like Lion, Bear, Penguin or Sperm Whale...

...they are mythical names of consumers and patrons of large big dumb animals, LBDA, industries.

"We are not picking teams; We are picking a game," says MooPig. "And we feel the game is Bay against York!"

This weekend I and the Pig are anticipating the SuperBowl LXII pregame between Packers and Giants to be the only game worth watching for the year. Favre versus Manning; Old man being challenged by the younger bucker.

Mythical encounters of the correct kind..... Giants versus the Packers: "Yes, we will be throwing the pigskin all day," said both Quarterbacks.

There... this is a better picture, and tastier:
As the... "usual sixty-eight or so meat-packers will have butchered hogs and salted the meat to feed to the army. Rock Island's federal arsenal supplied ammunition. [Before] the [game] the meatpackers, including [descendants of ] Phillip Armour and Gustavus Swift, who developed the Chicago Union Stockyards, ...using Chicago's railroad network, shipped cattle from western pastures, butchered the animals at their stockyards, and then sent the meat nationwide in refrigerated railroad cars." All shipped via the Northwestern to Lambeau Field, for this stadium-packed one-in-a- life-time standoff between old and young. Hog and Giant; Lamb and Cyclops --

Besides January 27 --
A Day in Super Bowl History -- Ouch!!!
On this date 16 years ago, the NYGiants beat the Buffalo Bills 20-19 in the Super Bowl. Giants' coach Bill Parcells summarized his game plan this way after the game: "Power wins."

Huh? Most of today must be random day. Get your Moink-joink going.

I can't even tell you names for the teams in the other playoffs for the other conference. 'Scuse while I google that info. OOP's: again couldn't fine that info, but I did find this: "They say that cheese is milk's leap towards immortality. What that tells us about the cheese bra, I do not know. I don't really know how to unpack this, but considering it exists at the intersection of food and sports, I feel a duty to share it. Just the thing to wear to a viewing of a painstakingly restored VHS of SB XXXI highlights," said the gurgling cod.

BRIE--NG it on!! Whey me down wid' it.
- and -

"17th Century Presybyterians say the darndest things
You wonder why some words fall out of favor. Came across one yesterday that is overdue for a revival: "Ignaries." It means "ill-informed persons." Viz: "The ignaries on television called the governor a man of integrity." A tip of the fin to Robert Baillie for bringing this word to my attention, and generally bringing the Glaswegian, won't find it in no OED ruckus. Out there in Codland--use it three times today in a sentence."

This will be MooPig Kind of Day at Lambeau, a dream come true: "We are excited! The Big Apple giants could get Packed, or the Cheese could get spread all over the kettle moraine," says the symbiotes.

"So, Ignaries: forget the rest and this weekend watch the Best! Because We are MooPig and you're not."

Besides, this could be you:
A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front.
He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.
The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat; you know the cheese-bra lady? We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now alas, my wife is dead."
The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.
"Oh no," the husband said, "they're all at the funeral."

We are all so going to miss the Cheese-bra Lady!!>MooPig/pd/final draft

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

2045 Grand Re-Opening of MooPig Wisdom; and Grandist Scale of Class Structure Oddity

Bourgeoisie Upper class Ruling class Nobility White-collar Petite bourgeoisie Upper middle class Creative class Gentry Blue-collar Proletariat Middle class Working class Nouveau riche/Parvenu Pink-collar Lumpenproletariat Lower middle class Lower class Old Money Gold-collar Peasant/Serf Slave class Underclass Classlessness...
MooPig is planning its Grand Re-Opening for August 29, 2045
    Mistress of Ceremonies TBA: Could be the Older version of the lady pictured above
  • If you are not assimilated by then, you will be, so get your Moink On!!!
  • It will prove to be a Grandiose Affair with Sleds and Bells
  • and, Always read the Fine Print!! Hear ye, Hear ye this Public Announcement

Funding to be Provided in receipt of its Rebate from Microsoft; pending litigations filed in the spirit of conjecture for compensations provided for in the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation from 1994 - 2045, blah 'd blah 'd blah 'd

"Yeah, we decided to just give it all back.. of course we kept the interest," might have said Melinda Gates in a most likely pre-re-opening meeting over some future weekend. So goes the saga of twenty-first century King Solomon, Bill Gates, and his mag-significant other, Melinda.

It's 2008, January and Fortune Magazine is reporting from the mansion just above the Gates Way to MSN copper mines of Legend. Somewhere in Washingtoniana...

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation had assets of $37.6 billion at end of 2007. Bill Gates just said his usual: "'Yes, we're a couple that has fun discussing fertilizer while we walk on the beach,' Bill says proudly. 'Melinda is more scientific and reads more than 99% of the people you'll ever meet,' he says" (Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56).

The cryptic couple apparently reviews annually around 6000 grant requests together in their chairman's office at Microsoft. The Gates Criteria for turning on a flow meter of cash to a worthy cause? "...Early on she and Bill agreed to focus on a few areas of giving, choosing where to place their money by asking two questions:

  1. 'Which problems affect the most people?

  2. 'And which have been neglected in the past?'" (pg 47-48)

[this is where natural snooping and curio put moopig on the $-scent for a grand-re-opening]

  1. MooPig is ambiguously problematic for at least thousands, and

  2. MooPig has been neglected for all of its life, past and future!

FORTUNE's Philanthropy section states: "Bill surprised Melinda on New Years Day, 1994 by arranging for Willie Nelson to perform just for them at their marriage that day." Then apparently they proceded to just-right-size their bridal house. It is reported 40,000 square feet of newlywed horror, back then: "It was a bachelor's dream and a bride's nightmare. So the bride took control and performed nu'veau riche surgery, 'If I do move in's going to be like I want it to be,' said she [Melinda]" (Housing Crisis, Pg 56, paraphrased).

Melinda and Bill have a philanthropy jones: "I'm in wholesale. I'm not retail," says Bill. (pg 56) While Melinda says "A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing," per Warren Buffet's philosophy. This translates into "giving 95% of their fortune away within their lifetimes," says Fortune. [See also: Warren Buffet's bequest in same article, pg 54]

MooPig, sitting right here, says "Huh?"

"'My fatal flaw?' Melinda says laughing during [FORTUNE's] third and final interview. She sometimes wishes for a simpler life" (pg 56). We the editors at MooPig speculate she wants the simpler life 5% of the time, and goes for the Queen of Philanthropy 95% of the time. [See Also: Ima Hogg, Hogg Philanthropy]

I submit locked in this story is the Hilton Syndrome that follows nouveau riche throughout history. Poor Bill and Melinda. And what about their children? Can Melinda plan for the ensuing spouses of her children? Will her daughters all marry one-legged veterans of foreign wars, in support of the cause? MooPig asks the hard questions. Will Melinda's sons pay dowries to have and husband Bush-women from the Kalahari? Lord help them all. [See also: Hiltons giveaway +- 95% of Paris's inheritance; must be a trend]

So how does this interview end? "She [Melinda] was giving herself a pep talk. 'I told myself , "But I do know enough."' She [had] completed her goal for the day: calling for the eradication of one of the worst diseases the world has ever known [malaria]. Tomorrow another goal. Maybe it will be even bigger."

[Weee--doggie, Jethro, start up the motorized buggy ..I swear that is the final words of the article] (pg 56).

Even though all is fair in war and philanthropy, and even though I could not be having this orgy of opinionated moink pig latin in here via the Internet without Microsoft, and even though metaphor is mightier than the pen is... I think Melinda's fatal flaw is "Brown pant suits," and the worst disease in our world is "nouveau riche philanthropy, along with the first signs of incontinence."

"'Bill is an awkward guy,' says Warren Buffet, a close friend of the couple. 'He's lopsided, but less lopsided since he's with Melinda.'" (pg 54)

Resistance is futile. >pd/final draft2


Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56

Whaley, Arthur L. 2006. Sage Foundation: An Objective Rating Form to Evaluate Grant Proposals to the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health, Abstract: vol 30 # 6, retrieved from .

©Frank, Robert L . June 24, 2007; Sunday Times, Bookfirst, Paris Hilton syndrome and how to avoid it. The one problem the super-rich can’t solve with money? What to do with their messed up kids, Extracted from Richistan by Robert L Frank to be published by Piatkus Books on July 2; retireve from:

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