Report from the Middle :: Some Discussion about so-called Recruiters

Sunday Muse Deconstructions
by Pat Darnell

Mormon, Muslim, Jesus Freak, Hare Krsna, and Gay are the most "visible" recruiters of "cause" in my lifetime.

There may be dozens more, but these pseudo-religious sects seem to be the most prevalent. Although these are usually not the most represented in a community, these minorities make a big stink about their beliefs and life styles.

Speaking from personal experience, as usual; how is it persons who feel one way may one day feel less that way, but do a bloody lot of damage along the way?

While these others try to persuade us that their "way" is the best course: it is my opinion this liberal use of fervor for a cause is misdirected on most of the population in the USA.

Mormons come directly to your door, two at a time. It is more for them than for you. Mormons say they send their youth, and new recruits, out to begin their missions. Jehovah Witness send new partners out for the same reasons. In all fairness, most denominations, Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist provide training and funding for similar Missionary service, but rather these more established religious sects send their young recruits to foreign lands.

Muslims use all means they can think of to atone their religion to modern, or secular, thought and action. Yet they have terrible anti-women sentiments that defy modern human rights thinking.

I actually had the delirious pleasure of side-stepping Hare Krsna [shaved heads wearing orange sheets] banging tambourines at the Houston Airport in my teenage years. During once a year vacations that my handsome Dad provided us kids, we were solicited by this mob. This was when Hare Krsna's wandered freely about the airport promenades. Then someone made it mandatory that all religious solicitors must be contained in outlined areas, with boundaries designated by airport authority.

That is when the Hare Krsna would reach across their line to try to grab me to sell me a George Harrison album, "for the cause." I never understood what the cause was, except to support the person selling me stuff so they could continue begging at airports. To each his own, I have said.

To provide some contrast, I would like to include the groups who have not tried in any way to recruit my support. In similar religious groupings -- Catholic, Orthodox Greek, Buddhism, Shamanic, Brahmanism, Judaism or Jewish -- especially not Orthodox Judaism -- Pagan Churches, and Nazi-like Arianism have not tried to recruit my sentiments. As a matter of fact those who practice these religions have actually run me off.

I might have been too normal, too straight, or too milk-toast Methodist for most these groups. Truth is I am so normal that I defy statistics. Therefore, if I haven't seen these other fervor driven cults and things cross my path, it is no wonder.

I am sure there must still be Voodoos, Cannibalism, Scarification Cults, Vicuñas, Air-benders, Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles, and the like out there. Possibly some weird stuff in prisons exists beyond my experience... and then the whole illicit drug cultures ... must be millions of recruiters out there for Star Trekkisms... eh? What about kid show cults, and anchor women worships ... not to exclude all the porn and pseudo social internet rubbish. How about the Cult of the Whistle Blowers?

As one can see I need another long vacation; but let me reiterate my first observation. Certain groups in the minority stats, still try to recruit others to their "religious fervors." Yes? No? Maybe so? What does it matter?

It matters not much: because this is just a Report from the Middle where the men are Methodists, the women are strong, and the children are not required to go door to door -- and the dogs are trained to not waste barks.
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Sour Grapes: Bill Maher

Religious / Relguious / Religulous are Garrulously Related ...Huh?
by Pat Darnell

I have a bone to pick with cardinal pundits, who stand up and boast they know the lines before the lines are spoke... Okay?

There, I said it. Unfortunately my most recent failing as a cool objective bystander is presented to us in the new docu-drama Religugious-ocity.. or something like that, with Bill Maher.

Maher is a once and not any more comic, and it is pathetic for him to even try a lamentation of religion. He never even mentions the Hopi Creation Story, or the House of Malediction for menstruating women of the once named Congo. How daft is that?

And in keeping with the mode of operation that I always use to con flag my essays... I want to talk about how this is better described in Godel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Braid by Douglas Hofstadter. You see Timmy... err Billy, the anti-semitic nonsense you keep asking yourself about yourself is actually an anti-semantic question... I repeat more slowly -- ...you ...are ...questioning ...the ...anti-semantic:

A semantic network of the word BITTER, showing associations of the other words/concepts that denote bitterness. The length of the connecting lines reflects the degree of closeness from the associated words to BITTER. (STRUCTURE AS TEXT, Hypertext and hypermedia, no date; retrieved HERE )

To Bill Maher the Bunkboard rider I have this pearl of wisdom for you: Religions have a unique constant. It is a fact that Religions that are formed among "believers" will always split in to different "sects." Look around and there's the Orthodox Jew, contrasted in the Reform Jew; the Catholics and the Dutch Reform Lutherans; the fastest growing Church in history Southern Baptists and the contra Mellowed out Methodists... oh dios mios.

Here's how you tell; Bill -- Go ahead name one thing you do religiously. Is it brushing your teeth? Is it biting your fingernails? Is it plucking your eyebrows? In other words religious behavior is that grooming you personally need to get you through the tedium of days.

If your sect suddenly decides they aren't going to brush their teeth anymore, you or I might have to split apart from that group of people. You see Billy, it has do do with semantics of grooming, more than you know. I hope this helps you because you look a little bit tired in that Daily Show interview the other night.

To be politically incorrect -- Bill you seem a little long in the ear, and teeth; not to bring up the obvious, but maybe you are in over your head this time... oh, I mean every time. Most of all we wish you could be like Bill Gains and expunge the bombast, but in your interviews apparently you have not kept up with your critics who seem more on track than you:

"Talking to a melting pot of the faithful, Maher worms his way into the niggling contradictions of our cherished belief systems. There's a ticklish, childlike logical glee to his view that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are fairy tales for adults. Religulous isn't an attack upon God but on the vain, deluded things human beings say and do in His name." (By Owen Gleiberman; Retrieved HERE)

Duh !!! And "you're welcome" for the free advertising, ya' knucklehead. (pd)