Causality and Making a Difference: the principle that everything has a cause.
Mixed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell | Mar 28, 2016 | Bryan TX
In a God forsaken media wasteland, real news is lost to the masses. When despots are sought for their image as if that is some kind of thing I want to see, I cry too. That particular image is a demon, pornographic and desperate.
As little people, we who exercise our freedom to not listen, to not react, to not be phased -- agency, force, and skewed quality of imbeciles pandering to masters who practice hegemony dominates our airwaves. Blimey!
Do we, the free, sit by or do we muster to bring about, make happen, accomplish something different in our head spaces? I think we can if we just concentrate on other stuff. No sweat.
“The main problem in any democracy is that crowd-pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage and whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy—then go back to the office and sell every one of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece.” ― Hunter S. ThompsonGet out your divining rod and tell me how you would react to an ailing friend?
K-- I was wide awake until 3 a.m. last night. My mind gets SO noisy at night sometimes and I am way too conscious of time. Seems to go in slow motion. I have very important doctor's appts at the end of the week and all I'm trying to do is hold on. It's exhausting you guys. I'm trying SO HARD to be strong for fiancé so he doesn't see how hard this is for me. It's so fuckin exhausting. I just think he's seen me bawling my eyes out enough. He had to see me grieve my Mother's suicide in 2011 and after she died I SO wanted to join her for a while. Geez, now I'm crying. But, instead I got myself off of the painkillers I had been addicted to for 18 years. He's seen enough. But you know, after going through all of that, I feel so weak & afraid of what's going on with me right now. I've never been more afraid in my life. Does anybody have any input please? I don't just live one day at a time, I live one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. How do you guys live with this?
S-- I am so sorry that your struggling to find peace of mind. When I have complete silence sometimes my mind and thoughts gets out of control and I try white noise. I also have to rationalize with my self ( self talk) continuously to stay positive and keep good thoughts in my mind.
K-- I've been struggling to find peace of mind for over a year. When I'm alone, like now, and at night when my fiancé goes to bed are the worst. I have insomnia so I keep weird hours. This last two weeks have been exceptionally hard. Do you know what I keep trying to tell myself? Most people would've ended up in the psych ward permanently if they had to deal with what we have to deal with every day. Sometimes that thought helps. My fiancé tells me I'm strong and amazing and I don't know how to believe that.
K --Geez-I just can't count on anybody in my personal life. I'm sitting here bawling by myself and nobody in my life gives a shit. The saddest thing I've ever been told was don't count on anyone for anything & then you won't be disappointed. I'll just wait for my meds to kick in & then maybe I won't give a shit anymore either. So, basically everyone in my life can just suck it!
K-- Sorry to sound so whiny, y'all. I was raised to never ever show weakness. So I'm still finding it difficult to just let go of everything I'm thinking and feeling, you know? I keep waiting for one of my relatives (deceased now) to show up and kick my ass!
Patrick Darnell -- K, when it gets like this, as you report, I have found some interesting things to do. One close friend suggested I take off my socks and walk barefooted outside in the lawn... Another friend suggested hot water with squeezed lemon and a teaspoon of honey, sipped without electronics or TV on... Another said read a real book, with pages to turn, for about thirty minutes a day... And my favorite, start with your spleen telling it how wonderful it has been, tell your gall bladder the same, gut, lungs, legs,feet, and so on ... Then praise your brain... Finally, listen to music harmonies that make you tingle. And I will do all things too.
K-- I'm listening to music right now to try and get thru this Patrick Darnell, music and books have ALWAYS been my bestest friends in the world. I'm having a hard time concentrating on books, my favorite shows, so this is what I'm doing for now. Listening to music and doing a little bitching on here! lol Thanx a lot for the input. I keep wanting to say to all of you thanx for not making me feel crazy, which is ironically funny cuz that's why I'm here. I'm just not used to sharing my feelings this much. But apparently I need to.
Patrick Darnell -- Wonderful to hear you love books... I wanted to also mention at my age I have met all my demons, and have found that they are all pussies. Just sayin'. When it roars, I know too well, it is hard to do anything, so just stand up and defy it.
K-- On a more positive note, I've received more positive input from people who've never met me, never looked into my eyes in one day, yesterday, than I received phone calls all last year. What I mean is, you guys are a godsend. Thanx for letting me vent. The demon thing I wrote earlier, that's my way of trying to cope. I've been writing for 25 years. Last year I wrote my first piece of fiction, a very, very short story about a girl and her Mom. It was my way of saying goodbye to my Mom. Maybe I'll share it later if anyone is interested. It made several people cry, including my doctor! Lol Known him for 10 years. I'm very lucky I have a great doctor. I really am trying to get myself in a better mood!