MooPig FWD Email Department :: "Brain Industries"

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from Kim Edmonds Malone
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

Like · · Follow Post · 7 hours ago
Kathy Tarbox Bowl likes this.
________________
Kim Edmonds Malone This is why teachers drink!! LOL
7 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Kathy Tarbox Bowl okay. the idiots that vote republican are starting to make sense. contraceptives need to be added to the water supply stat!
7 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 3

Kim Edmonds Malone I think you are on to something there woman!!
7 hours ago · Unlike · 2

Susan Drangstveit I clearly did not know the answer to any of these questions! I need more larning I guess. :)
4 hours ago · Unlike · 1

The Last Roundup will involve a First-born Collecting all His Siblings

Click on Image if you want to see it larger --

For cryin’ out loud; Position your Personnel to include type-Characters
By Pat Darnell

Did you ever notice that HoolyWood has room for only about eight to twelve personalities? After those are filled, then it is the waiting game for duplicate personalities to have each a turn at the top.
For instance type characters, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, and Ernest Borg-nine of Eight, and Jerry Lewis have a place in this lineup. I figure James Dean, Marlon Brando and James Garner are some other type characters that come to mind. Ginger Rogers, Bette Davis, Lucille Ball and Cher are also distinct leading and supporting types.

In this posting I will prove that modern diversity of human capital plays right into the lap of choosing who does what in your businesses.

Traits run in certain patterns, so says the entire body of knowledge of humanists-ologies -- from horoscopes to Brahmanism, modern psychology to zoology, and Joel Olsteinians to Presbyterians. Hey, I like to check my bio-rhythms, horoscopes and chi weekly, don’t you? Look at Britney's horoscope above. Will she eventually take a major role? I think so; she soon will follow the path of M Monroe and Anna N-Smith.

It turns out, for me Bruno Bettelheim started my whole thing when I ran across his studies on a theory. He states that there are only about eight fairy tale themes in the scope of literature. “Bruno Bettelheim is the author of The Uses of Enchantment, published in 1976, in which he discussed the meaning and importance of fairy tales, such as those collected and published by the Brothers Grimm.

"Bettelheim suggests that if children are allowed to read and interpret these fairy tales in their own way, they will get a greater sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. Bettelheim posits that if children are allowed to read about the trials, tribulations, successes, and failures encountered by the heroes of fairy tales, this will better prepare them for their own lives.” (Why iki peed ya)

So who has grown up reading a fariy tale and replaced Marilyn for instance, if only for a brief time? Out of the trillions who have tried including Jane Mansfield -- Anna Nic-Smith had a good run at it. The comic tragedy of the role is almost now an urban legend. Who will be the next? I guess it is Britney Spears seen here on her way back to rehab. Too bad Marilyn didn't have re-hab back then.
Elvis has so many impersonators, but I suspect Nicolas Cage is the understudy who holds the closest Elvis replacement proposition value. Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley were married for three months, shown below.

Finding a unique character is difficult to very near impossible for speculative casting directors. Collective conscience of the movie-going customers ranges very far developmentally from 8 to 80 years old.

Casting a character who defies gravity of an established role character is death for the casting crew in movie productions. So replacements must be blatant tributes, or subtle copies, or the movie project fails. Procurement of personas fitting the eight to twelve characters recognized by the public is a good model for human resources in growing businesses.

I continually find this tricky natural pattern of personas has merit and can hold its own in all general groups. For instance Presidential Cabinet, average families, kindergartens and daycares, Santa's Helpers, sevens of dwarves, drug cartels, Knights Templar... oh the list is endless full of sub-groups and tell-tale with the disambiguitions of inclusive types that are duplicitous, yet necessary. The key is for the business owner to not try to duplicate him or her self, rather hire type characters for the major roles in the business. Your C-Team might be led by a personality completely opposite of oneself.

So pardon if I ask:
“Who is going to replace Hugh Hefner?’ Our latent Midwesterner playboy persona is an Octogenarian and cannot last for very many more decades. Who is waiting in the wings to take over the Mansion? If you look at recent past earnings Playboy is losing its margin in the periodical readership game, for several years past now --

Well, the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ guy is in jail; the guy I work next to at my night job thinks he is two sit-ups from being Hef’s groomed heir, but is the average dork-wannabe playboy.

It turns out all the other playboys are semi-octogenarians too. That is why I think the only qualified replacement will be one who is amicable to women, tall, original, skinny and young:

i.e. Snoop Dogg.

aka Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr.[1] (born October 20, 1971), better known professionally as Snoop Dogg and previously Snoop Doggy Dogg, (Ibid. Why iki...)

A FAQ rises to one's lips: Who did Hefner choose as his frontispiece in 1953? Playboys Remember and covet?

“The first issue, published in December 1953, did not carry a date, as Hefner was unsure whether there would be a second issue. The first centerfold was Marilyn Monroe, although the picture used had originally been taken for a calendar, rather than for Playboy. The first issue was an immediate sensation; it sold out within a matter of weeks. Known circulation was 53,991 (Source: Playboy Collector's Association Playboy Magazine Price Guide). The cover price was 50¢. Copies of the first issue in Mint to Near Mint condition fetched over $5,000 in 2002.” (why iki peed ya)

-- BUT --

"In 2005, Hugh attempted to create an Indian version of Playboy for India, which would feature South Asian women and Indian pop culture articles, but no nudity. He wanted to have Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai on the cover of the first issue. The magazine was rejected." (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005005/bio)

I ask: Did Hefner forget the original tapestry of persona that kicks off a good rag? I think so. I disavow talk that Aishwarya Rai is secretly dating George W Bush, even if Jeb and Neil Bush are covering for their brother president. So, Hef blew the cover model choice for India; no match for M Monroe caliber.

Conclusion: Small Business Guide to Personnel Choices
I have recurring fantasies of owning my own company, and then incorporating with employees representing certain personalities who fill key leadership roles. Oh, you too?
For instance I covet the following personalities for my corp:

• My Sales and Marketing team would be led by the VP that would have been a rock ‘n roll band leader, or Hobo Band, at one time. I mean a band that had gone town to town across Missouri playing Honky Tonks where they split the door with the owners.
• My CEO would be someone who taught Kindergarten in public school, preferably from Hispanic neighborhood.
• My CIO, chief information officer, would have to be a Veteran of Foreign War, preferably disabled.
• My human resources VP would come from underpaid teaching and music background, such as an Orchestra or Band instruction.
• And my CFO, chief financial officer must be an Italian woman, or German nun, who has raised seven of her own children, and some children for others, who now has some time to pursue her own career in her late fifties.

Hey! I'm an Equal Opportunity Employer, get real! > pd out

References

The actor (Will Smith) met up with the princess of bollywood, Aishwarya Rai and gave her a detailed narration of the story and plot of his film; he then asked her if she would play the lead role in the film. He lavished a lot of praises on her talent and appeal in the west. According to sources Miss Rai was to star opposite Smith in Hitch but was unable to do so as she was busy with Gurinder Chadha’s film, Bride and Prejudice at the time. Aishwarya will definitely give this offer some serious thought.

Another reason for Aishwarya Rai’s heart to swell with pride is that American President George Bush would like to meet her. Miss Rai has received an invitation from Prime Minister Manmohan Singh for the prestigious power lunch with the US President at the Taj Palace in New Delhi. Following the lunch invite came a dinner invitation from President Abdul Kalam too. http://www.bollywoodmantra.com/1084_will-smith-and-george-bush-fond-of-aishwarya-rai.html

Anna Nic-Smith, CEO, CFO, CIO, Hefner, Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, Nicolas Cage, personnel, SMB, Snoop Dog, VP
SMB, Small and Medium Business Personnel Choices

the last roundup
Labels: Anna Nic-Smith, CEO, CFO, CIO, Hefner, Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, Nicolas Cage, personnel, SMB, Snoop Dog, VP

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Today is Marinell's Birthday

By Pat Darnell

A little girl was born in a place only legends remember. Foggia, Italy is remembered by some WWII Army Air Force men who were stationed there. Some of them remember Padre Pio, and the countryside. Some old red headed East Texas men told me once when I was a middle schooler, they had met and had a conversation with Padre Pio during their stay in Foggia, Italy. It was so foreign to me in my adolescence that I filed away that city's name for some future geography test, or forget it. Guess what happened to me?

It turns out our little girl was only then a glint away from being born to a post-troubled, Mussolini-confused, 1950's Foggia, Italy. Her parents married during this very bleak time in Italian history and somehow squeaked out a life together. The two had suffered untold misery growing up and the start of their years together showed no let up.

Both had developed interesting habits because of the depressed state of the country. For instance, our little girl's mother collected things. Mamma hid glass bottles in the attic, and stockpiled other reusable things, such as cloth, jewelry, and wooden utensils. Pappa had developed a game face without equal, and a right hand of iron to defend his growing family. Pappa is known for his ability to end a fight. Their combined habits, turned talents became the skills that produced a large and beautiful family.

South Italy is to this day very dissimilar to the Northern Italy genre. Culture in Foggia is all about family, home, and agriculture. Three children were born before Marinell, and four more afterward. Marinell remembers hard times, but she dwells on the sights, feel and smell of her childhood. She remembers most going to the beach of the Mediterranean during summer break. She remembers visiting Rome at least one time. And she pines for the local food -- cheeses, sausages, and tomatoes... olive oil and buffalo cheese, as such. These memories bring smiles to our birthday girl's face. She loves to get all brown-skinned, blushed and rosy in the summer... easy to do in Texas... I feel like this is a throw back to her happy memories of earliest times. Her tanning usually peaks about this time every summer, July 13th. Hmmmm? Makes me wonder...

Going to Foggia? Well it also has its own dialect. If you are from there, you can discern Italian from Foggian dialect. If you are a visitor, you will not understand a word. No lie; and folks will laugh at you if you try to understand. Just like the USA, the Northern and Southern Italian districts are mysteriously divided into farmers in the South, and Factory workers in the North.

That's all for now. We had a celebration at Chili's in honor of Marinell's birth, and toasted all within the sound of this blog. That includes CJ, the bartender, and Colleen the waitress, who made our afternoon something extra special. SALUT'E!! ChinChin....

Both Samantha and Patrick,ii Birthday :: 21 May

CELEBRATE !!

Birth Order -- Rat Pack

If We have ever Met, What is the First Question I asked You?
by Pat Darnell

[PHOTOS: from Flickr]
The idea behind Birth Order in trying to build a team of members compatible to the tasks, is that it, the order siblings are born into their family, represents a "significant unhampered event," before social, physical, environmental, and moral adaptations come to bear on the new personality. Also the new sibling can dramatically affect the situation and status quo of the children born previous.

But Birth Order has been studied and revealed as significant in our century by Alfred Adler (1870-1937), an Austrian psychiatrist, and a contemporary of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, was one of the first theorists to suggest that birth order influences personality.

Adler argued that birth order can leave an indelible impression on an individual's style of life, which is one's habitual way of dealing with the tasks of friendship, love, and work. According to Adler, firstborns are "dethroned" when a second child comes along, and this may have a lasting influence on them. Younger and only children may be pampered and spoiled, which can also affect their later personalities.[1] Additional birth order factors that should be considered are the spacing in years between siblings, the total number of children, and the changing circumstances of the parents over time.(WIKP)

And of course this assertion has been repeatedly challenged by researchers, yet birth order continues to have a strong presence in pop psychology and popular culture.

Go ahead and try to prove it wrong, but Birth Order is significant in religious and tribal institutions, as well as in most business institutions, partnerships, and corporations. For instance, the idea of Seniority, and Apprenticeships, Mentoring and Father\Son Generational businesses, all have this unspoken birth order rule in rites of passage. Women are not excluded in this either, as birth order restricts and promotes which child will enjoy what privilege or what sanction.

When the Human Resource person asks you about your family, they are really asking about you, and your birth order. I remember brothers who owned a White Hen Pantry together, John and James, and they never admitted to us employees that they are brothers, for the simple reason, they knew it would lead to ranking.

"Everything I do is wrong..." as a most often call for help in children today... could be the biggest clue to the loss of the knowledge of birth order. "Yes, everything you do is wrong, for your particular order in the litter."

It turns out oldest boys should marry oldest or youngest girl, and stay far away from middle girls. Second sons should follow the order and marry only second sisters... it is a catholic case for arranged marriages. Even in modern dating, it is a glaring empirical truth. Stay away from the older and younger girls if you are second son. Find the second sister... you will be happier. In other words the challenge is compatibility, not tiring rivalry leading to obsession.

So, a polygamist male first born will succeed if he sticks to oldest, and youngest mademoiselles? I suppose so... you prove it.

If you try to label your team members in this way, you will most likely be burned at the stake, as it is the most sacred of truths... next to motherhood, and divine love. Birth Order is one of the major underlying themes of holy books. Some historians have said that America is settled by Second Sons, and Second Daughters, who had no inheritance back in Europe. They moved to the shores of US to find a new life. It turned out to be fathers of a revolution, and writers of a new document... and so on.

It is best to study family offspring in fours of the same gender... [four sons] because certain truths reign in that structure. First child gets along with the youngest child. Second son must leave, and becomes the prodigal son. The first born is always with the parents, tending the everyday occupations of his inherited birth rites. It is not so clear today how this all plays out. But it is certainly feasible that the social order is instinctual in Humans, and applying it in Team Building is a great idea.

TEAM: Rat Pack --
So how do I assimilate this group of only children first borns, and their grouping in Entertainment fields...? Search me... eh.

Only child
Samuel George "Sammy" Davis, Jr. was born in Harlem, Manhattan, New York City, New York to Elvera Sanchez (1905-2000), a Puerto Rican dancer, and Sammy Davis, Sr. (1900-1988), an African-American entertainer. The couple was both dancers in vaudeville. As an infant, he was raised by his paternal grandmother. When he was three years old, his parents split up.

Only child
Peter Lawford -- Born in London, on September 7, 1923, the son of English World War I hero Sir Sydney Turing Barlow Lawford and the former May Somerville Bunny, Peter Lawford spent his early childhood in France and began acting at a young age. Lawford's mother was said to have dressed him as a girl in private up until age eleven. Lady Lawford and Sir Sydney were not married when Peter was conceived. Young Peter lived all over the world with his parents.

Youngest boy
Joey Bishop, youngest of five children, was born as Joseph Abraham Gottlieb in the Bronx, New York, the son of Anna (née Siegel) and Jacob Gottlieb, Jewish Central European immigrants.

Only child
Frank Sinatra was born in Hoboken, New Jersey, in 1915. He was the only child of a quiet Sicilian fireman, Anthony Martin Sinatra (1894-1969). Anthony had immigrated to the United States in 1895. His mother, Natalie Della Gavarante (1896-1977), was a talented, tempestuous Ligurian, who worked as a part-time abortionist. Known as "Hatpin Dolly," she emigrated in 1897. Although it is part of the Sinatra folklore that Frank had an impoverished childhood, he was actually brought up in middle-class surroundings, due to his father's secure job as a fireman and his mother's strong political ties to the Democratic Party in Hoboken. Following his teen years in New Jersey, Sinatra was interested in serving his country during World War II. But on December 9, 1941, close to his 26th birthday, Sinatra was classified as 4-F at Newark Induction Center, due to a punctured eardrum he suffered from a difficult forceps delivery.

Only child?
Dean Martin (born Dino Paul Crocetti; June 7, 1917 – December 25, 1995) was an American singer, film actor and comedian of Italian descent... Born in Steubenville, Ohio, Martin dropped out of school in the 10th grade because he thought that he was smarter than his teachers. He delivered bootleg liquor, served as a speakeasy croupier, wrote crafty anecdotes, was a blackjack dealer, worked in a steel mill and boxed as welterweight. At the age of 15, he was a boxer who billed himself as "Kid Crochet" (Kro-Shey).

It's open ended and you have to pick it up from here.... pd