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Monday, August 15, 2011

Report from the Middle :: "Three Hole Aggregate Playoff"


"The cowbell in my family is an iconic thing."
By Pat Darnell | August 15, 2011 | Bryan TX

I took some time off from watching The Knife Show Marathon, with Tom O'Dell and friends, this afternoon to tune in to the PGA Championship from Atlanta, Johns Creek, Georgia. Unfortunately, it was just as sliced, diced and chipped as the cutlery show.

The leader was about five strokes ahead, but his unmarketable name "Jason Dufner" probably is the reason he bogey'd 15, 16, and then 17, while the guy in second place birdie'd the same. In second was "Keegan Bradley," who MooPig Segment Marketing Editor, Milton Miltie, says, "Is a name that doesn't remind patrons of ammonia smelling golf shirts and turf stained golf shoes, like "Jason Dufner" does."

The regular tournament ended in a tie between the two and required a "three hole aggregate playoff" to determine a winner. After the second hit by both players, the playoff went all for Keagan Bradley's way to victory. MooPig Editorial Staff gathered in the Break Room to watch on our twenty inch TV, as the playoff churned.

"It's real low humor to make fun of people's names like that," said MooPig's Humor Editor, Monroe Maroon.

"Naw; we're just musing. We are noticing the PGA golfers in this Post-Tiger era ..." Milton said.

The two well-matched players, Dufner and Bradley, re-played the 16th, 17th, and 18th holes in the final minutes of the tournament. Some old, but good, catch-phrases were muttered around the tables by the gathered staffers. "Drive for show; Putt for dough." "Rookie." "Uncle Miltie."

The Chicago Sun-Times would later say: "And the winner is . . . rookie Keegan Bradley, who looks more like the kid who delivers your Sun-Times than someone gracing its pages."

The UK Daily Mail would report: "New USPGA champion Keegan Bradley is up from 108th to 29th in the world rankings - and joins the list of those now ahead of Tiger Woods."

"I think I remember something about Keegan and his family..." said Gretchen Glee, MooPig's Staff Caddy and Ball Washer. "I seem to remember -- Keegan Bradley got emotional thinking about a cowbell." That hit a note with the MooPig Staff.
It turns out: " ... The [cowbell] that is in the World Golf Hall of Fame. The one his grandmother rang after every win by his famous aunt, LPGA Tour great Pat Bradley, whose 31 victories included six majors."
That's MooPig's Report from the Middle, where the women always ring the cowbell, the men all finish in the top 1%, and the children pray for rain.

1 comment:

d2r2 said...

...and the pets donate their table scraps to the poor.

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