I Could'a Been a Contender

Let's Invent a FaceBook Game!!
by Pat Darnell and this pistol



You know secret ambitions? "I always wanted to be a.... [fill in here your own contentions] !"

[Famous People who have been Homeless HERE]

Okay, So now we try to sort out various big names and their secret ambitions.

A major hurdle prevents this. We don't have any clue where to look for these secrets. so to Google we go...

[Rootabaga Stories: HERE]That's the idea but what is the Big Names Secret ambitions...
[GuideSpot: A-Z Guide to Your Secret Ambitions HERE]

[N.] "Take the day off, Tom Hanks. Use those opera tickets, Patrick Stewart. Get your nails done, Meryl. Today, audiences are going to gaze up at a ceiling full of stars and hear your voice explaining all of the gases, the masses, the dark matter and the infinite. Now if you’d like to make things really interesting, you could take the Kathleen Turner approach to voice-over narration and smoke a very large cigar, chased by a double shot of whiskey. No one paid for “average”. And don’t worry, friend, you don’t actually have to know anything about the universe; someone has taken the trouble to write it all down for you."

Google -- "I should have been a ________..." [To Be Continued........].

TROJAN DOG

For God's Sake, Do Not Eat the Cat, whatever you decide!
by Pat Darnell

Which of these pets pictured would make the best companion for Barry O, the Wife, and the Kids?

Also, can you identify the Peruvian Hairless Puppy in the group?

Some considerations that might be neglected in the Obama family's choosing stages are:
"Who will be washing rear ends, and tending to the animal's duty?"

"Is there ample White House Staff available to manage the extra family member's meals?"

"Will Secret Service be assigned to Fluffy?"

"What if their is no more food in the house, will they eat this pet?"

"Will the Obama's be getting a pet from just anyone? There are those who want to look like good neighbors, but really harbor discontent... and are malicious," as rumored HERE:

Peru Attempts To Invade White House With Tiny Hairless Trojan Dog
11 November 2008 | [SOURCE]
Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association have offered to send the new first family a Peruvian Hairless puppy. They say they want to send it because of Malia Obama’s allergies–the hairless breed is hypoallergenic–but we can’t help but wonder if they’re trying to scare the crap out of the girls with that ugly thing.

After all, -relations haven’t exactly been peachy keen between the U.S. and Peru what with them accusing us of trying to kill their president every other week.- * [Guanabee Ed: Uh, yeah, disregard that sentence. Heh.]

This dog could be code for some kind of warning. Or maybe it even houses little Incan warriors who will escape in the night and take over the White House while the Obamas sleep. Or maybe that thing just horrifies us. Either way, please, Obamas, get a goldendoodle.

References -- Peru Offers Bald Dog Of Incas To Obama Family [Javno]
Earlier: Video: Peru Holds Cat Eating Festival,
Enrages PETA Hippies

Comments:

* Dude, whoever wrote this confused Bolivia for Peru. As in, I’m pretty sure the relationship between Peru and the U.S is a-ok while Bolivia’s president is pretty paranoid about the U.S swooping in and ousting him. Seriously, people. Stop confusing one country with the other.

Ha, no, we’d never eat a kitty, even though the people of Cañete insist they hold the festival for health reasons.
They believe that eating cat burgers – and fried cat legs and tails – can cure bronchial disease. A 63-year-old local woman with 17 children and 70 grandchildren also credits cat meat for keeping her fertile. It is also believed that feline meat serves as an aphrodisiac.


Maybe the Obamas would like a pair of Turkeys.

Maybe this nice Urchin would suffice that "gotta have it urge impulses."