Turn the Tub Around :: No Trans Fat :: Last Tango in Kroger's

Housewife Discovers the Butter Aisle and has Last Tango in Kroger's before Super Bowl XLIV Party
by Pat Darnell


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Bo5DhUxtTw
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SUPER BOWL XLIV Commercial Break for MooPig

We were given an Invoice for $5.3 Million for this Super Bowl TV Commercial Spot -- We decided to run it for FREE here...
by Pat Darnell

Remember, MooPigsters, this might come via emails, so click HERE for today's Entrails of Dead Comedians :: MooPig Commercial that got Canned... [pdaf]

MooPig Site Reviews :: "A word from IndyStar Funnies Man Gary Varvel"

Clip Retrieved by Pat Darnell [HERE]

Friday, in the Indianapolis Star, ... [Gary Varvel] will have a full page graphic novel on the Super Bowl-bound Colts. It is called, "Ava-Star."

On personal note [from Gary Varvel]: "I've been a victim of identity-theft. I got a voice mail message from someone who said that he met Gary Varvel in a bar and spent several hours thinking he was talking to the Star cartoonist. When he saw my photo on my blog, he realized that it wasn't me. For the record: I don't frequent bars. So if some guy in a bar claims to be me, ask him to draw your caricature, then tell him that Varvel doesn't go to bars."

The Colts won the AFC Championship and ... week's "Caption This" contest was won by David Clements, New Whiteland, IN - "The easiest way I knew to get us to Miami was by going to the air."
Runners up: Pam Summers, Greenwood, IN - "Aw, shucks, any NFL MVP could do what I'm doing."
Paul Walorski, Columbus, IN - "I'm excited...Polian said he'd let me play in the next game."
Rick Abbott, Indianapolis - "Look its a "Jumbo Jet" flying Rex Ryan back home to New York !!"
William Billings, Indianapolis - "Saints fan, President Obama, will be adding our Super Bowl victory to his list of lost causes." [SOURCE]


Mr Varvel holds these cute "Captions Contests" for us all to behold. I like it. It fits my bombastic nature. [pd]

Here was this Week's --

Apple unveiled their latest gadget this week. What do you think this kid's response is to the new Apple iPad. If you have a humorous retort, send it in the "Caption This."
Just post your caption on the comments link above the cartoon. Keep it clean (this is a family newspaper). Keep it brief (brevity is the soul of wit). And if you can't do those two things, keep it to yourself. When you write, include YOUR NAME and the name of the CITY WHERE YOU LIVE. Your deadline is noon Thursday.
The winning caption will be printed in the cartoon along with runners-up captions in next Sunday's Indianapolis Star print edition as well as posted online at garyvarvel.com. [SOURCE]

Colts arrive in Miami - The Indianapolis Star Galleries

Colts arrive in Miami - More The Indianapolis Star Galleries

View this gallery at The Indianapolis Star: Colts arrive in Miami

Saints :: Colts

Retrieved by Pat Darnell and S. Mash-Mowth Glimmerski

1. The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "The (SAINTS or COLTS) are Super Bowl contenders."
Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"

2. Why do (team) players keep their Wonderlic results on their dash boards?
So they can park in the handicap spaces.

3. What do you get when you put the girlfriends of a dozen (team) fans in one room?
A full set of teeth!

4. Why did the (team) players miss their flight for the big game?
They were stuck on a broken escalator!

5. If you see a (team) fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your bike

[SOURCE]

6. What do you get if you see a (team) fan buried up to his neck in sand?
More sand!

7. You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of (team). You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the (team) fan… twice.

8. What do you call a (team) fan with half a brain?
Gifted!

9. Why are the (team) like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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10. What did the average (team) player get on his Wonderlic test?
Drool!


SUPER BOWL XLIV Pre-Game CHATTER [SOURCE]

• Ailing Colts DE Freeney wants to test ankle Friday
• Saints shorten practice to remain fresh
• Super Bowl logo will have new look, starting next year
• The Who warms up for halftime show
• Freeney says ankle pain subsiding, hopes to play
• Saints' Shockey, Sharper, Vilma practice
• Saints very pleased with Brees, want contract extension
• Dungy 'would be absolutely shocked' if Colts lose
• Irsay: Colts QB Manning will be NFL's highest-paid player