Retrieved by Pat Darnell
COLUMBUS, OH—With its membership swelling in recent months, the mysterious organization that secretly pulls the levers of American power was forced to suspend its weekly meeting Monday, having grown too big to fit inside Marriott Conference Room B. "To successfully carry out our clandestine operations and continue maintaining the ignorance of the masses, we will now require the full amenities of Conference Room A," said an unidentified man, who is believed to have covertly orchestrated the economic collapse of Iceland last year. "We must postpone the Cataclysmic Event until such time as a more comfortable meeting space is available." According to confidential records, the hidden regime's enrollment has more than doubled since it gained free access to the Marriott's swimming pool and gym facilities.Shadow Government Getting Too Large To Meet In Marriott Conference Room B
May 5, 2009 | [SOURCE]
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Nation Ready To Be Lied To About Economy Again
May 4, 2009 | [SOURCE]
According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 98 percent of Americans no longer appreciate President Barack Obama's attempts to break down the economic crisis into simple terms they can understand. Instead, many say the president should have the decency to insult their intelligence by using complex jargon to confuse and deceive them, perhaps even implying that the subprime mortgage fallout was just a big misunderstanding that resulted from a clerical error.
"I know when he's telling the truth, and it bothers me," recently laid-off schoolteacher Mary Hanover said of Obama. "He gets this serious expression on his face and says things like, 'This is the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.' Who needs to hear that? For Christ's sake, smile a bit and say we just found a diamond mine under Montana that's going to pay for everything. I'll believe you."
"Please, treat me like a child. Treat me like a five-year-old," Sacramento resident David Cooke, 64, wrote in a letter to Congress. "I lost everything when the Dow tanked, and I'm too old to start working again, so why punish me further by explaining in detail the clever ways these investment firms ripped me off and how they're all going to get away with it?"
Thus far, many policymakers in Washington have responded favorably to their constituents' requests, saying they respect and understand the public's need for dishonesty.
"I think we can accommodate the American people on this," Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told reporters. "Why, just today we made excellent progress with GM, whose CEO Fritz Henderson told us that every penny of federal and taxpayer funds would go directly to the construction of three new auto plants in Detroit that will create over 90,000 new jobs and spark the economic rebound we've been waiting for."
Continued Reid, "Things are looking very, very bright."
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