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Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Golf" -- OR -- "Pizza" MooPig's Multiple Choice Thursday Therapy

Howdy, Benefactors, no one took a bite last week... so here it is again, ya' bunch of divot duffers, pizza stuffers.

Open Book, Surprise Quiz that gets more-'n-more Ridiculous toward the End, and eventually Falls into Disrepair
by Pat Darnell and Roots of Imaginations

1) 350 Slices per second is the rate of ::
A) Golfers daily teeing off on first holes of America's Golf Courses badly
B) Consumation rate of partaking a slice of Pizza in America today

2) Ham, bacon, sausages, and smoked meats contain high levels of the amino acid tyramine, which triggers the brain to release norepinephrine
A) a good catholic case for not eating pizza before bedtime.
B) a brain stimulant that makes us feel alert and wired and ready to conquer eighteen holes for a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
C) A and B are both correct

3) Bite, apron, iron, Bermuda, green, waggle, wager, Birdie, par, eagle, albatross, eagle-doblos, bogey, snake, stroke, hook, shank, slice, heel, grain, cleek, stimp, fore, Texas wedge, blue, wormburner, trap, Mulligan, free drop, sweet spot, links, grass, ...
A) A concise list of pizza toppings, like Tomato sauce, chili, pizza, and spicy foods, pepperoni -- that can cause Digestive disturbances as common sources of sleep problems, but many people fail to make the connection. Acidic and spicy foods can cause reflux, heartburn, and other symptoms that interrupt sleep.
B) Combinations of these words in a round of golf on any day can cause reflux, heartburn, and other symptoms that interrupt sleep.

4) "1905"
A) The first pizzeria in North America was opened in ~this year~ by Gennaro Lombardi at 53 1/3 Spring Street in New York City.
B) Modern pizza has been attributed to baker Raffaele Esposito of Naples. In ~this year~, Esposito who owned a restaurant called the Pizzeria di Pietro baked what he called "pizza" especially for the visit of Italian King Umberto I and Queen Margherita.
C) 'It took me 17 years to make ~"this many"~ hits, but only one day at a round of golf' ... Hank Aaron

5) Pizza on Golf
A) Accepts credit cards
B) There was a time when joints like this were all over the United States. Now they are not.
C) ... not roadkill
D) all of the above

6) Pineapple, bitter greens, smoked salmon, red onion, and edible flowers, pickled ginger, minced mutton, and paneer cheese, red herring, Mayo Jaga: mayonnaise, chocolate, potato and bacon, eel and squid, Green peas
A) A concise list of pizza toppings, like Tomato sauce, chili, pizza, and spicy foods, pepperoni -- that can cause Digestive disturbances as common sources of sleep problems, but many people fail to make the connection. Acidic and spicy foods can cause reflux, heartburn, and other symptoms that interrupt sleep.
B) Combinations of these words in a round of golf on any day can cause reflux, heartburn, and other symptoms that interrupt sleep.

7) "UFC" stands for
A) What we all watch from our couches while we down a half-dozen pizzas and gallons of milk
B) "Unnatural Foursomes Championship" of Golfmen

8) Women's Polo Shirt for Pizza Hut Uniform, Made of 100% Polyester
Model Number:YSP-SH0904064
A) Can also be worn to play golf
B) Cannot be worn to play golf

9) "CHOP"
A) hit the ball with a hacking motion
B) the word immediately after "pork" as a topping on Islamic Pizza ...
C) Something to do with ICP

10) "DRIVER"
A) ... the club known as the 1-wood
B) ... the club that hits the ball the farthest
C) It is a person that very rich people have
D) Delivery Person on wheels who brings pizza to you
E) nearby Runner wearing an apron and has flour in his hair who brings pizza to you
F) All above might be correct
G) A,B,C, and D and F are all correct

Alternate Question:
11-Alt) Birdie Obama is ::
A) ... one stroke under par on a hole at any US or an Ally's Embassy Golf course around the world
B) ... a President in over his head wanting to play leapfrog, but he is all alone with no one to leap over
C) ... some name that is creeping into Geo-Political articles that speculate on the President's objectives, rhetoric and reasoning
D) This refers to a first in American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate… won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate… then was hired by a clergyman who had sex with a subordinate! It's a perfect birdie 3 -- Mel Reynolds, his new job? Ready for this?? YOUTH COUNSELOR at Operation Push
E) ... Big Bird met Michelle Obama on Sesame Street for an afternoon of ninteenth-hole smorgasbordin', and they were the same height, thus now share names

Bonus Questions: Special TERMS and Conclusions
12) "LINKS"
A) another word for a golf course
B) This originally meant a seaside golf course.
C) par-baked names on TWITTER
D) "C" above is incorrect

13) "ROUND"
A) Shape of a golf ball
B) ... shape of common pizza pie
C) Earth after Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 14 hundred 92
D) Only "B" is correct

14) A logical conclusion to this Multiple Choice Test could be:
A) Some of the lore and terminology of Golf is similar of Pizza's food dynasty
B) Only with Pizza can we be keepin' it real: because to be a pro golfer is pure fantasy ...
C) Golf and Pizza are modern conventions of leisure-tronics
D) I don't know: but I been told: Eskimo Pizza is mighty cold ...
E) Golf is a road you drive; if you want Nancy's Pizza ...
F) " ... I can't recall when I have attended a national conference with a more clearly defined objective than this one. We are here to document outdoor recreation trends and explore their meaning for the future. Perhaps it is because of our preoccupation with present crises and growing uncertainty about the likely outcomes--a loss of faith in the lessons of past experience. One might well define the current economic inflation as the price of hopelessness; the cost of uncertainty; the economic expression ,of our unwillingness to plan for a tomorrow that we cannot comprehend. But, whatever the reasons, we are finding future-telling an increasingly difficult task. ..."
G) " ... [B]ecause of decentralized modes of personal and political decision making, patterns of outdoor recreation will vary across the Nation. Distinctive regional identities will re-emerge with their own unique playtime and sport preferences. In addition, energy limitations and other emerging regional cultural values will influence outdoor recreation interests, merging into identifiable styles of living that will exert a powerful
influence on where people seek to live and work. ..."[HERE]
H) Only "D" is correct

15) Somalian Fox Hole
A) ... a brutal trap on the final double dog-leg of the US Embassy's nine-hole course, par 5-Ninth at Mogadishu
B) Sarah Pallin's secret NGO [non-governmental organization] hideout, somewhere near Aden Bay in Somalia, for Rougue-funded political gains in push for World Empress
C) ... where leaders of the free world go to hunt foxes on horse back, with hidden agendas, but unaware of the land mines placements
D) ... code name of the deep underground site in Somalia where Barry Obama sent the FOX News team  personnel, currently guarded and surrounded by Somalian pirates and apprentices, all wearing pink ribbons for 'Breast Cancer Weeek'.
E) ... CB handle for the Texas Sheriff played by Jackie Gleason in the movie classic Smokey and the Bandit
F) ... for this question; your guess is as good as anyones'

[note: you may need a Life-line to answer this #16, whew!]
16) And what would a Thursday Multiple Choice Surprise Quiz at MooPig's be without a slur on Barry H Obama and his "500-thousand Dollar Pizza" negotiations tactics back in Spring, 2009?
A) "In noting that, Barack Hussein Obama flew in Chris Sommers, 850 miles from Missouri, because [Barry]likes Sommer's pizza. Sommers brought 20 pounds of dough and 3 gallons of pizza sauce to which [Barry] Obama had another party at taxpayers expense while Americans are being brutalized off the coast of Somalia."
B) "If Sommers was flown in on private jet, the pizza's probably cost $250,000 a piece. If one adds up the costs of the Somali "negotiations" the pizza's probably cost over a million dollars a piece."
C) "Taken on average, [Barry] Obama was eating $500,000 dollar pizza's for a party while Americans were being held hostage by terrorists."
D) "Enjoy your pizza........oh that's right none of you were invited like Peggy Noonan is still waiting on her slice. (lame_cherry, HERE)"



Next Week :: Riding Lawn Mower OR Watermelon

5 comments:

Argentinians Winning The Drug War With Cultural Diversity said...

After all the time travel we've been doing, you must be starving!

http://www.fromargentinawithlove.typepad.com/from_argentina_with_love/2009/09/pizza-de-palmitas-con-salsa-golf.html

MooPig said...

Gee, thanks, commentor with name longer than comment.

I am a hungry jet setter space gleeb: if you didn't get a chance to erad the whole article -- it turns out to be very interesting.

It reminds me of a related secret group operating in southern hemisphere; FYOD, LLC. I attended one of their posthumous motivational seminars in Orange County, and they had Golf Salsa on the gratis shrimp and vege tables ... yummy yummy got golf in me tummy.

You get a "D" on the Surprize Quiz. Try again next week.

With warmest regards,
Pat Darnell and Friends

d2r2 said...

Alright Mr. Wisenheimer...

1. A
2. C
3. B or A
4. C
5. D
6. A or B
7. None
8. A & B
9. Fishermans' worry
10. G is right
11. Next question
12. D
13. Play 18 and roll the dough
before you toss it
14. Sorry, but "Golf" is a failed
VW experiment
15. The caddies drive you around
the course in 1989 Toyota pick-
ups with 50 caliber machine
bolted to the bed. Turbans
have been replaced with TW caps

Of course we all know that the real answer to the quiz is " The
individual 200M medley in the world record time and gold medal style of Michael Phelps...that 'Water-Hole-In-One' golfer for the ages."

MooPig said...

Wow, D2R2, if this keeps up we will have to inform Mensa of your advanced cranium potentialities.

Yep. Your grade is "A+" with a 110% ponts for extra credit [and extra effort] included.

Maybe I whould quit trying the Wiesenheimer angle... yes?

d2r2 said...

Okay,I'm ponying-up.
Matt Rodriguez, the newest member of the Hooking 'n' Slicing Lumberjacks from SFA Golf 101 fed me a few answers. Remember his name so we can say I knew him when, after he becomes another PGA millionaire, and won't acknowledge who really taught him his swing and links savvy.
Oh well, don't stop your bombast Mr. Wiesenheimer, we need you more than ever.
See you after class at the driving range.

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