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Saturday, September 04, 2010

TABASCO or Louisiana's Hot Sauce Response to Pribek dot net


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I have noticed over my half-century that the Tabasco bottle is the usual choice in restaurants in Texas. Generally there is always the three standard bottles of Tabasco, Louisiana's and a Green one on every table in Texas greasy spoons.

This match is not warming up too fast. I am thinking... if I was preparing for the hurricane to hit my town, would I go for the Tabasxo or Louisiana's ...?

Now that is the ultimate paradoxical question, I'd say, because all hurricanes stimulate the shopping urges. It turns out, in my land of hot sauce ooze, Texas tea, I live a life of therapeutic endeavor. Which brand is best for keeping the worms out of my system ... besides picking a green pepper off the garden bush and biting down ... Louisiana's is by far the better choice. Mix with a chaw of Big Red twice a year [yes, you have to swallow the juice once] ... and you should be worm free.

First) Let's talk nuance: okay? Like wine tasting (which is a long story in itself) hot sauce is the same export of the grounds it is developed in. As for Louisiana's, I first experienced in Galveston Cafe when I was ten or so, left an indelible mark on my tongue. "I will come back to that one day," said I.

Louisiana's was on the table along with Tabasco, and a green unlabeled sauce [which everyone will always say DON'T try the green One!] to this day I have tried several times, and find it palatable, until I retain a seed of it between my gum and frenum -- YIKES!

In Louisiana for real there also is a black sauce that I have never been man enough to try ... but some women I know have tried it. They put their cheek numbers on their plates first to keep for afterwards.

Despite receding gums and all, when pounding down a half-dozen oysters on the half shell -- even in Chicago -- I prefer Tabasco, or Louisiana's to add the sniff to the bite... you know?

I remember being at a corporate Christmas Party in Rosemont, Ill, when I worked for the Japanese... they prepared for us a huge seafood table next to which I bellied up and grazed. After several plates of boiled Gulf shrimp with horseradish style cocktail sauce, I moved on to the raw oysters -- with a few drops of Tabasco on each slurping.

As my face turned to beet red, and as my stomach said "Ah, thanks for the challenge, Space Child," -- my wife noticed that the Japanese women started following me around and all their children gazed up at me with astonishment. It was truly a John Candy moment.

Good clean fun; YEP!

But all the while at that Christmas bash I wished I could have had a bottle of Louisiana's on hand for the oyster taking. Not as widely known I think.

In the South, I have seen young anorexic style girls, at least two, bypass the salsa dish and go directly to the Louisiana's with their bag of Dorito's and hunker down with a "grab, spot, drip drip crunch, a whole bag!" -- as if they have not eaten in weeks. [Probably like our almost lost Chilean gold miners, when they get their first empanadas from above today.]

Which brings me the the second part of this comment.

Second) Let's take this match to the real people -- the Chilean Miners trapped in the mine shaft 2000 feet below the surface... which would they choose to go with their special meals from the borehole that sustains them?

They probably have never heard of either brand!

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