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Saturday, May 24, 2014

MooPig Report from the Middle :: "Women and the High Kick"

Girls' Kicking
Mixed Martial Articles by Pat Darnell  |  May 24, 2014  |  Bryan TX

One time a writer at MooPig Enterprises submitted a short story in which the girlfriend of the protagonist whipped around and put her foot in his face, just as a warning. He deserved it, he was a minister, and was talking trash to her. We didn't publish that story; at the time it was written in 1985, it was not a regular thing to see women kicking faces of men. Move ahead about 30 years and we look forward to heroines in cinema kicking the tar out of everyone -- men, women, robots, but not children's faces, thank goodness.

[Picture LINK]

Hitting girls, women, in my time was taboo. They can pound on me, but I keep my hands down. So today I see men beating the shit out of women and vice versa to my saddened realization that I have outlived my demographic. I remember Cagney slapping a woman in a WWII era film. But that was my only remembrance.

The only high kick was what women aspired in dance teams.

[Picture LINK and LINK]

This high kicking had no hostility behind it. It just demonstrated female agility. In MooPig Site Reviews: Efforts of the Generalists' in Post-Modern Pre-Revival Modern Pre-Quel Age we discuss the high kick as part of sports, parades, circuses, and other surprising unsolicited entertainment.

I don't think you will find any classic poetry about the subject of the female high kick. It is a Google quest to find "High Kick, Female, Poetry." You don't see any combination like this, only single parts of that phrase... Modern poetry winners still talk about the body in terms of its collective parts ... Here's a title that contained all the parts of the search, but was not what we are looking for ... "...

Poem gets high school football player suspended, kicked off team


If only this young poet had spent his passion on women's high kick:

It happens so quick
Only a camera can catch it
one round buttocks thrust forward
in that lady's high kick ...

In a flash of pony
She stands on one set of toes
And expects us all
to maintain our repose.

But heavens to mergatroid
Extending her femur like an android...
We see angles that snare
Our subliminal attention unawares.

Thank you Bathsheba's
thank you marching bands
... and thank you camera shooters
for showing me these rooters!

Hoorah for Uma Thurman
David Carridine, and Serenity
... Who killed Bill, determined
With high kick proficiency.

[Another impromptu poem by Pat Darnell based on a failed Google search]

 Welcome to the debate.. and take note. We need High Kick Cheering if we are to Survive the next generation of female heroines in cinema; they need to learn somewhere, why not in high school drill teams. MooPig discusses yet another benchmark capability of Middle American Know How that Values expression by our National Treasures from other Southern Locales ...

Special thanks to Buffy, Wonder Woman, Zena, Ellen Ripley, the Rockettes, Kilgore College Rangerettes, Dana Scully, Sarah Conner, my ex-high-school-girlfriend Becca James, and all the rest. And a special hello to all the parents, boy friends and siblings who are saying: "Yeah, she's in the line tenth from the left!!!"

[YouTube LINK]

That's our MooPig Report from the Middle, where women are strong, men are good looking, and the children are above average.


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