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Showing posts with label last word. Show all posts
Showing posts with label last word. Show all posts

Thursday, January 28, 2016

MooPig Anecdote Corner :: "Luigi, Luigi, Luigi..."


Mike Adkins

A older couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts" she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself".
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked "Do you shave?" "No" replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?" "Oh, yes" said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department... very generously indeed.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed. Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him "Did you see it?" "Yes" he said "but why the hell did you have to show her yours". "Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before". "I know" he said "but the dart team hadn't!"
  • Mike Adkins My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 30-odd years ago.

    Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

    Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate.

    After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondary school. "Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner!" he beamed with pride.

    "When did you leave to go to college?" I asked. He answered. "1965. Why do you ask?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

    He looked at me closely.

    Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit, bastard asked... "What subject did you teach?"
    22 hours ago · Like · 1
  • Mike Adkins An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. 

    The two gentlemen were talking, and one said "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would re
    commend it very highly." The other man said "What is the name of the restaurant?"

    The first man thought and thought and finally said "What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one" replied the man. 

    He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled "Rose... what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
    21 hours ago · Like · 1
  • Mike Adkins Luigi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those beautiful shoes so much... it's all he can think about.

    After about 2 months 
    he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

    Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani's for the first time.

    He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?" Taken aback, Sophia replies "Yes, Luigi, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?" Luigi answers "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?"

    Next he asks Rosa to dance and after a few minutes he asks "Rosa do you wear white panties tonight?" Rosa answers "Yes, Luigi, I do, but how do you know that?" He replies "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes... how do you like them?"

    Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red. He states "Carmela, be stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!"

    Carmela smiles coyly and answers "Yes Luigi, I wear no panties tonight..." Luigi gasps "Thanka God... I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Armani leather shoes!"
    21 hours ago · Like · 1

    Mike Adkins A newly retired cop was walking down the street, on his way to a retired cops breakfast, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for a meal. The retired cop took out his wallet, extracted a twenty dollar bill and asked the guy "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of food?" "No, I had to stop drinking many years ago when I was a cop" the homeless man replied.

    "You were once a cop?" "Yes" the homeless man replied. "On the force for 12 years, until I was fired for drinking on duty and I lost my retirement after wrecking a patrol car the same day".

    "Will you use this $20 to only buy donuts and coffee instead of buying nutritious food?" "No, I don't waste time with sugary foods" the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive and eat as well as I can".

    "Will you spend this $20 on green fees at a golf course instead of good food?" "Are you nuts?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years since I was fired from the force".

    "Will you spend the money on a woman over in the red light district instead of buying good food?" "What disease would I get for a lousy twenty bucks? I hate whores" exclaimed the homeless man.

    "Well" said the retired cop "I'm not going to give you the money now. Instead, I'm going to take you to a terrific cops breakfast around the corner and get you to tell the retired cops your story, then you get the money".

    The homeless man was astounded. "Won't these officers be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting, man". The retired cop replied "That's okay. It's important for them all to see what a cop looks like after he has given up beer, donuts, golf and sex".
    22 hours ago · Like · 1

    Thanks Mike.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

MooPig's Let's Pick On ... "Rick Scott"

[Picture LINK]

Lowest Form of Humor Department
by Pat Darnell and the Herd  | Feb 4, 2012 | Bryan TX

MooPig's Lowest Form of Humor Picks Department preys on persons' looks. We are mesmerized by the images we run across online. Give us more images! But, it is truly the lowest form of humor to make fun of someone's looks. Eh?

That doesn't bother us. Today we have selected the governor of Florida, Rick Scott, who we think exemplifies the new, and future, "look" of politicians in the USA.

Big eye stare, haunting smile, fetish crazed jaundice, bald pate, skin stretched tightly over a skull, obsessive compulsorily confused... that is the LOOK!

Here are a few Examples:



All images are unretouched, that is , unretouched by human hands. Everything you see here is unreconstructed for your viewing delectation ...

MooPig thinks this "new and future look" is the look of zestful gloom, melancholy pain, sadness, sorrow, trouble, unhappiness, and worry.


________________Reference
http://www.browardbeat.com/found-gov-rick-scotts-double/
http://southfloridadailyblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/rick-scott-truly-outsider.html
http://www.salon.com/2011/02/25/rick_scott_joins_the_scott_walker_fan_club/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/6203736333/

Sunday, January 03, 2010

MooPig Movie Reviews :: "Public Enemy 2009"


Public Enemies - 2009
Johnny Depp takes on the role of Dillinger in the newest film about Public Enemy Number One. Directed by Michael Mann and also staring Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis. The film follows the charismatic Dillinger through his bank robbing career.
Photos recently appeared on the Internet from Colliard.com of Johnny Depp as John Dillinger in Michael Mann’s Public Enemy. The hair, ruby sunglasses, shirt, tie and pants easily place the actor in the depression era.
I looked at a couple of photos of the real Dillinger, and he certainly isn’t as handsome as Depp.
Michael Mann’s Public Enemy will prove out anyhow. He’s a true filmmaker. (2008; SOURCE)
"Answer the Question, or they'll put you down a Black Hole in Cook County ..."
Review by Pat "Ratta Tat" Darnellingerer, and Hub Paiges

Last Week; Bryan, TX; Out on DVD -- Romanticized warfare until half-way to the ending, Public Enemy 2009 is all that. Dillinger dies, as he is historically supposed to have --  in the end, the sole survivor of his gang, as all his loyal gangsters are deceased. They were all cut down by Special agent Purvis -- Christian Bale: "We will fight crime ... with science..." [paraphrased from movie dialogues] That's not a tough posit to accept, as we are conditioned already with lippy-masterwork Batman by C Bale.

Dillinger? He is a 1920's rock star who cuts the flab of our national money reserves like a butcher. He makes elaborate ploys for robbing institutions relieving them of large sums of **1926-1931 - FIXED Gold standard, 5 years-Backed Certified US Buck$... for his own discretionary spending.

And the Dillinger Gang use their tommy guns like cleavers, thanks to modern lab enhancing cinema tech. Fire leaps out of Depp's Dillinger's guns like flame-throwers; very impressive. In our face cinematography. ... But woe, he is ratted out by his most trusted woman friend, a lady in red... but in our 2009 Depp's version -- a new specification is presented as the "lady in orange dress under a white sweater..." [Paraphrased]

Special Agent Purvis puts the squeeze on Dillinger's illegally immigrated, lady in red-orange, friend; threatens her deportation, and, well, it spells the end for the boy rebel from Indiana. Dillinger gets fingered.


Simultaneous to the underpinning Purvis chase, the USA National Crime Fighting Budget is challenged by another ambitious young man, J Edgar Hoover. Public Enemy 2009 presents the idea that "JEH" appoints sharpshooter Purvis as Crime Syndicate Boss, while he goes about setting up his G-Men Nursery. Purvis greases each Dillinger Gangster one by one. Hang in there -- this review is almost over.

It turns out, that history was written to include big budget Federal Government Crime Fighting because it was impossible to bring criminals to justice in states where they were wanted. Dillinger Gangsters enjoyed conditions like Illinois being safe haven for them, while they had crime sprees in other states -- like Ohio. Criminals crossing state lines was okay, No extradition in those days. Finally Hoover gets his way, extradition, and criminals start standing trials in states where they did their master works.

But you will have to watch the entire first half of over-the-top bullet delivered billets of lodging, and car fantasy escapades, [or you may cat nap through them like I did] -- No less, boys with guns, or, rather, -- equivalent to the fire power of RAMBO all five eponymous series [yes five] -- to get to the truer nature of John Depp's "Dillinger." J Depp provides us transfiguration on the mount, he transfigures through to the movie's ending; as a character otherworldly, in his finial role as emotionless, walking-dead, gang-less, gangster leader.

Johnny Depp's Dillinger walks among the Pharisee Populace of the Chicago Bureau of Investigation as if a savior with a last death wish. That part, near the end, you should stick around to see ...
[end of pdaf MooPig review]

Dillinger's last words are reported to have been "Bye Bye Blackbird

Born in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1903, Dillinger was raised by his older sister after his mother died in 1907. Rebellious against his strict father from an early age, Dillinger quit school to take a job. His father moved the family to the country in an effort to keep a lid on his son's behavior, but it had little effect. After getting into trouble with the local law for stealing a car, Dillinger joined the Navy, but soon deserted and was given a dishonorable discharge.

--PHOTO: Left ... the r'ill dilli'nger....

It turns out after Navy faux-pas "... Attempted to rob a grocery store, but ... quickly caught. Following his father's advice, Dillinger confessed and was given two consecutive sentences for assault and battery with intent to rob and conspiracy to commit a felony. His received 2 to 14 years and 10 to 20 years in the Indiana State Prison.

While in prison, Dillinger learned the ins and outs of bank robbery from the pros. After his own release, he planned and arranged the break out of his friends, who soon became known as the first Dillinger gang. The second Dillinger gang was formed after he escaped from another stint in jail. Baby Face Nelson was one of it’s better known members.

Plot Summary for "The Public Enemy (1931)" Tom Powers and Matt Doyle are best friends and fellow gangsters, their lives frowned upon by Tom's straight laced brother, Mike, and Matt's straight laced sister, Molly. From their teen-aged years into young adulthood, Tom and Matt have an increasingly lucrative life, bootlegging during the Prohibition era. But Tom in particular becomes more and more brazen in what he is willing to do, and becomes more obstinate and violent against those who either disagree with him or cross him. When one of their colleagues dies in a freak accident, a rival bootlegging faction senses weakness among Tom and Matt's gang, which is led by Paddy Ryan. A gang war ensues, resulting in Paddy suggesting that Tom and Matt lay low. But because of Tom's basic nature, he decides instead to take matters into his own hands. Written by Huggo (Unknown Source)
Tom's bad way of life is constantly set up against his brother Mike's, who has a job during the day and goes to night school. Mike will enroll in the Marines to fight in WWI. He will come back and will constantly try to put Tom back on the right path. Written by Natacha Godaillier (Unknown Source)


Friends Tom and Matt go from small time to big time crime during prohibition. Tom tires of his mistress Kitty ... he pushes a grapefruit into her face ... and falls for Gwen who resists his advances except when it look as though he might dump her. When Matt is killed, Tom goes after the murderers. Written by Ed Stephan stephan@cc.wwu.edu

Great hub...great work. Back in the 1960s we had a neighbor who claimed that they killed her son and not John Dillinger. She told us that her son had been arrested twice because he looked so much like Dillinger. He had also gotten in some trouble by claiming he was Dillinger to the ladies. He went to Chicago for business. Her son dissapeared at the same time Dillinger was killed. She never heard from him again. [Tom Cornett says: SOURCE] http://hubpages.com/profile/Tom+Cornett



PHOTO's: Neither of these two women are in the movies, but they will get Last Word, if interviewed.

**Theory:
The gold exchange standard was established wherein each country pegged its currency to the US dollar and British pound which were then supposed to be backed by the dollar. When the depression began countries tried to cash in their pounds and dollars for gold. That "run" on gold forced the end of the gold exchange standard. 1926 - 1931 ...
1931-1945 - FLOATING Fiat currency, 14 years
Fiat currencies reign worldwide leading to huge economic imbalances from country to country and was of the major contributing factors to the beginning of WW2.
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