MooPig's Who would win in a Cage Match #3

Snipped by Pat Darnell  |  Sep 23, 2012  |  Bryan TX

Eric "Butterbean" Esch

--OR--

Troyal "Garth" Brooks

Buford: 'Evelyn, what would happen if you swallowed Uranium?'
Evelyn: 'I don't know. What would happen, Buford?'
Buford: 'You would get atomic ache, Evelyn.'

Pugilistic Pat and the throw down with Dangerous Dan

I am a deconstructing sort. That's right... give me something and I will deconstruct it using weapons of opportunity. I'm a downer... a buzz-kill, last out of the gates ... party pooper. Yet, sometimes I'm the life of the party.

So, maybe you don't want to tempt me? Some of you cherished readers do tempt me, all the while knowing my tangential personality. So here goes another miserable anecdote --

Everything I Needed to Learn, I Learned in my first dirty Boxing Match

by Pat Darnell, Moopig da' FURST

I have children, six of them. Some are step-children, but I got tired of that nomenclature long ago. They are all my charges; and I ask them equally questions that they could never answer. What questions? Oh, like "... now that Bird Flu and Swine Flu has hit the scene, what is the cure for the common cold -- not Chicken Soup anymore ... eh?"

So if my children are looking in today -- I just want you all to remember this inoculation:

Boxing tells me everything that I need to know to pass on the wisdom of deconstruction. Like this:

What is the first rule of boxing -- the referee gets the fighters to center ring and says "I want a fair fight." Thus, the first rule of boxing and life ... no?

Secondly the referee says -- "Protect yourself at all times."

Stern warning ... no? Third in the order of rules -- "No hitting below the belts."

Fourth -- "Pay attention to me, and do what I say at all time."

Fifth -- "Now, lets touch gloves and come out fighting."

Okay, that is what is supposed to happen. So when I put on the gloves for a round in Dan Alexander's garage for a bout with Dan -- all pro ex-guard for the 77 to 89 NY Jets. I thought there would be the usual center ring discussion, build up or something. Nope. Big Dan just walked over to me and knocked me out. BOOM, I hit the floor [they tell me] ... the next thing I hear is Dan: "Darnell, are you okay?"

I swaggered to my feet and said woozily: "Wow, I really do have a glass jaw." Took off my gloves and sauntered to a chair ... I was the evening's informational entertainment for my buddies, "Hey everybody," yells George Sands, "This is what a knock out looks like."

It really only hurts one's pride, you know; some pain later with headaches, oh and yes when one remembers the episode almost forty years later.

No one after put the gloves on with Dan the rest of the night. Funny peculiar, but I now think old Dan had been practicing that chin trick for knock outs and waited for some knucklehead to try it on. Dan was kind of sweet on my girlfriend, Julie, and ...well chalk it up.

Getting knocked unconscious is a trip. I do not recommend it. If you have never experienced it, that is okay. It is similar to being anesthetized as when pulling teeth or such. You go out, and you come back like your moments of unconsciousness never happened.

"Get your Bell rung, Darnell?"

"Hey, Dan, no one sang the Star Spangled Banner yet."

"Boxing is 'bout as Dead as Woodrow Wilson..." said Randy Coutre

Vic Darchinyan --Boxing's Rebounder?

MooPig "Sports and Gambling Department" has a Question...

by Pat Darnell and The Ball-Chinians

That's helluva name this boxer has -- Darchynian -- makes Men in Black seem almost like Prophets. Are today's dying out Boxers actually Alien Species from "out there?"


Aliens on our staff are being tight lipped about it all... we are impossibly unsure about Boxing as a thriving sport since our close coverage of the Beijing Olympiad.

Boxing was noticeably forgotten and not attended. The only " judges" for boxing events that Beijing could find were Chinese women street vendors, from rural districts. Everyone else had found an excuse to not judge boxing, kind of like skipping jury duty here in USA.

###Boxing News Flash :: "...how do you rank him, [Darchinyan] ? ...what's your opinion of him... "...me, i think he's [Darchinyan] something special and will be the next big draw in boxing.. if he wins his next fight he'll be a 3 division champ.. he's quietly making a name for himself..he has power,personality and his boxing skills are improving"

He [Darchinyan] is one of my current favorite fighters. I glad that he finally made it into the top ten P4P list.
###############


Me and my brother used to laugh at Vic [Darchinyan] (cause of his cocky attitude), then he got KO'ed and acted as if he didn't, and was ready to bang again...Classic!!!

Then he [Darchinyan] rebounded, and he has been destroying people ever since. He has learned from his only loss, and it has made him a stronger fight. He has learned how to use his right hand -- he was sort of like pac, a one handed fighter -- and it has made him that much better.

He [Darchinyan] has speed, power, and loves to bang! What is there not to like?
P.S. He wins the rematch with Donire.

Throwing the Game? No Proof, just Gut Feel...

by Pat Darnell, a question

I have a simple question. Does it seem like John McCain is making decisions as if he is trying to throw the race?

Sometimes the truth is more strange than fiction. In this case it appears that someone who has the say so, said "Okay, John, you can run for President; but you will not win."

For instance -- Obama already beat up one woman contender... why pick another as his Republican VP running mate?

-- and why does McCain look like he isn't all that interested in the big prize? He is on the merry-go-round, but not reaching for the gold ring... in my estimation.

Obama came from nowhere, with plenty of bias and prejudice seething in his careless speeches, and slanted slanderous attacks on establishment. How did he do all that damage control so fast, while McCain can't get a break on any of that Jeremiah Wright, Michelle, dirty boxing stuff?

I am convinced that McCain has reached as far as the "big whatever they are's" will let him. It is mandatory for the Democrats to be in the Executive this term, according to some deal cut decades ago?