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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Today is My Berate Day

My Berate Day...
Y
es that is a pun.
Don't fret though, it is my Birthday. However, I wish to berate a few people, places and things for my day. A summary follows:

People first:
Most of us don't know when to retire -- but I can name a few who should completely lick off and find a quiet place.

Places:
Since I was little, I have had this thing for straight lines. Maybe I am Stuart Little the dweeb, or was strained through the sheets. Yet here I am, living breathing, breeding, eating, in my abode.

So this becomes a sort of: Summary of Rights Under the Fair Provisions Act of 4.54 billion, BCE, years ago, "an oligarch reached an Earth mass." I have a right to complain about other people's domicile as much as they have a right to complain about mine.


Things: A common question I am confronted with almost everyday now -- Why would my friends and relatives think I am trying to do something to them when I call them to say "Hello?"

Guilty? I am when others call me. I am afraid they are going to try to gain entry to my [ho hum] life and sell me a time-share on their pyramid, without the fondue party!

For instance you know the schtick: "Hey Pat 'Only $300 now [and $23.34 a month for 3 years] and that makes you a Plutonium Member; ...But if you go with $900 initial payment, [and $23.34 a month for 3 years] you could start as a MicroBioGenetic Element' !!!"

"Is that front-end loaded or back-end, Ted?" I usually ask.

So, as usual, my day passes and I go back to my endless conjecture and fascination with all 22,000 years of collected human knowledge at my finger tips. Such as:


"...We had eighteen candidate stars on our list, ordered in terms of increasing uvby - determined metallicity, and to keep track of them, we named them after heavy metal bands:..." (April 27th, 2006, Mötley Crüe;
greg posted in exoplanet detection)


What better glee than this? On my behooved half- century plus a few ...I and you, get to ride a highway circling the globe only John Glenn could've dreamed. I and you are tethered to the dreams of the whole world...

I only hope you precious all are as veraciously celebrating our one more year of
human existence, as I am today !! God Bless us all... now that wasn't so bad, eh?

Better yet, Retire!









JUNE 4

wm faulkner


1864: 60,000 Union soldiers die during the first month of General Ulysses S. Grant's command--more Americans than killed in the entire Vietnam War.

1919: US marines invade Costa Rica.

1962: William Faulkner's last novel, The Reivers, is published.

1989: 2,000 students and workers are killed in Beijing's Tianenmen Square (the Chinese government officially denies any deaths occurred)

3 comments:

Pribek said...

I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to explain an exciting program that will benefit your family, and we all know that, family is the most important thing, right?
So, if something exciting was going to benefit your family, you'd be interested in hearing about that, wouldn't you Mr. Darnell?
Sure you would. (nod head at up and down at this point for positive reinforcement.)

HBD-again

did you really say LICK OFF!!??
can't believe you said that, Wichita.

d2r2 said...

As my Spanish speaking buddies say,
"Happy Verde, Patricio del socio".

What is this about behemoth chives?
Berate? Is it something to do with the missing bees? Too many surcharges, dun after dun, $23.64 a month for a long, long time makes me nervous.

We are all just ordinary, average guys. I hope the dog-poo was hard when you made your leaf angel, Angel, Kansas

MooPig said...

Big
VERY Big
Extreme BIG
Bodacious Big
ostentatious Big
Biggie Big's Big

HA! HA! to you both. Head not nodding, and leaf Angel is burning.

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