MooPig Report from the Middle :: "Dr. Neil Clark Warren"

Who Would Win this Cage Match?
Merged concepts by Pat Darnell  |  Feb 16, 2014  |  Bryan TX

[Picture LINK]

Dr. Neil Clark Warren

-- versus --

Humanity

Whether you know it or not, there was a once upon a time where I was a pretty good alcoholic. Actually I wasn't pretty good, I was great. Every time I went out I got the high score. No one scored higher. Between amount consumed, bad decisions made, and people pissed off, I championed more than most. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, right?

I was living in Marthasville, Missouri at one of my peak times. It is the Wine Country of Missouri, go figure. I was scoring left and right at the "Drink till you Drop Wine Tasting Vineyards." I recently escaped from a particularly messy marriage, meaning I was a mess, and made a few key decisions.

Firstly, I was never going to get married again. That was obviously for chumps, much like college, right, Natan? Shut up, conscience! Secondly, I needed a gnarly beard to help scare off any potential chicks that wanted a piece of me.

I'm up late one night drinking who the heck knows what, when I decided that I was lonely. Time for a little female companionship. Where would I meet someone though? I'm an unemployed loser who lives in a friend's house. I wake up hungover at 3 PM everyday just about time my friends get off work so I can get my drink on.

In between "Clonus" and "Ankle Biters," a great horror movie about vampiric dwarfs, I saw a commercial for eHarmony. They touted that they had set up thousands of happy couples. "I've never been so happy," says some neatly dressed overweight nerd with a supermodel on his arm.

I slowly make my blurry way to the computer and slump into the chair. eHarmony.com pops up and tells me that I'll have "thousands of results in just a few minutes!"

"Sheesh! Thousands? All I need is one!" I think. I begin the process of inputting my information. This website asks me about every single aspect of my life from childhood to my religious views. Even though I'm at a particularly sarcastic point in my life, I decide it's time for me to take this thing seriously. So I answer as well as I can -- even taking time to really think about my answers between drinks. Two hours later, I'm finished; I take a deep breath and "submit".

What seems like hours tick by as I wait for my results. "Come on, " I'm thinking. "I don't need all 10,000 at once, just a couple hotties to chat up."

No results. None. Zero, eharmony comes back and informs that I am "un-match-able." Somehow in their internet database of hundreds of thousands of women with varying interests and feelings, I cannot be matched with any of them. I knew that I was a difficult dude but the idea that no one on the internet would want a guy like me had never passed through my mind.

Needless to say, I don't remember much of the rest of the night.

I should reiterate that I have since made changes in my life and don't feel quite the same way. In fact, I'm certain that is a direct result of my poor decisions that things kept working out for me the way they did. I'm hopeful that someone will marry me regardless of what eHarmony thinks. Just remember when you are trapped in a tunnel, watch where the rats go, they know the way out.

_____________________1 comment:

by Alex
Quite the beard and quite the post, Natan. Also, I don't know when the last time was that I checked to make sure there is no permanent brain damage resulting from my propelling your noggin into the space between the car door and frame that one time in Helena (where I learned to never listen to anything Brig Heaps said ever again). Based on this post, you are able to write a coherent, humorous blog. I am relieved.

That's our Report from the Middle at Lake Abandon, Texas, where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and children are all above average.

_____________________Reference
http://squidlife.blogspot.com/2010/12/dr-neil-clark-warren-or-how-i-learned.html
http://www.catsandbeer.com/television/hey-hollywood-how-about-some-more-christina-applegate-sitcoms
http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/about/podcast/

A shout out to Garrison Keillor's sign-off adapted to our shares with listeners the latest news and views from the little town where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average."

MooPig Low "T" Department :: Do I feel Older than Dirt?

Retrieved by Pat Darnell | Jan 3, 2013 | Bryan TX

[Picture LINK]

I don't feel eighteen again. I do feel the sense of 'wanting to do things' again. I have low "T" ... low testosterone. I found out after routine blood tests, the doctor noticed low levels of Testosterone ...

It is a hormone. It's what puts hair on a man's chest. It's the force behind his sex drive ...

First doctor sent me to a specialist, a metabolic sciences MD, who further tested me. She usually handles metabolic disorders like diabetes, low estrogen, and also low "T" She then suggested the route of injections of "T" as the best solution for this condition. I have been six weeks with a routine of injections.

"As an endocrinologist, I'm thinking hormones," says Mezitis, who estimates that about a quarter to a third of the men he tests for low testosterone have levels below normal. "Sometimes it is testosterone, sometimes it is the thyroid, and sometimes it's something unrelated to hormones." (Matt McMillen. WebMD Feature. Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD. no date. HERE) ... "

After age 30, most men begin to experience a gradual decline in testosterone. A decrease in sex drive sometimes accompanies the drop in testosterone, leading many men to mistakenly believe that their loss of interest in sex is simply due to getting older. "The blood test is really the thing," Mezitis says.

The advertisement included in this article shows one of many "T" supplements available. Hopefully, this condition will right itself with therapy.

New Discovery Revitalizes Men of All Ages – Health Headlines:
(Cambridge) – Have you noticed a lack of energy at the gym? Are you tired of feeling your age?
As men grow older, their natural testosterone production begins to decrease. The effects of this decrease become increasingly apparent over time. It can leave you feeling weak, tired, less energetic, or simply not how you used to be. The two places you’re likely to notice this most are at the gym and in the bedroom.
'via Blog this'

" ... In women it is called Menopause and in men it is called Andropause.

This is the period, usually occurring between the ages of 45 and 55, during which a man’s testosterone levels may fall, leading to a reduction in vigor and sexual drive. Also called male menopause.

Women aren’t the only ones with a hormone cycle. Men have a hormone cycle, too. But there are big differences.

For instance, instead of having a month-long hormone cycle like gals, males go through an entire hormone cycle in a single 24 hours. Another difference: Men have 10 times more testosterone than women, so their hormone cycle is usually all about how their testosterone affects them.

A man’s body does make estrogen and progesterone like a woman’s body, though in much smaller amounts. The estrogen is produced in the adrenal gland. So, what’s a man’s 24-hour hormone cycle look like? His testosterone is highest in the morning when he wakes up and gets lower and lower as the day goes on. (Sheri Goddard. August 7th, 2012. HERE and HERE) ... "

Now we need a good detoxification program... live and learn, and write, I always say.

_________________Reference, don't mess with the LINKS, Maverick.
http://www.healthheadlines.com/article/content/fb_lgid=4730&fb_lpid=15281&fb_itid=30694386&pid=180&fb_itid2=12932&nid=111
http://men.webmd.com/features/low-testosterone-explained-how-do-you-know-when-levels-are-too-low
http://menopausecoach.com/4851/male-menopause/do-low-testosterone-levels-in-men-matter/#
http://pollyheilmealey.wordpress.com/2012/06/28/hormonal-imbalances-in-males-hormone-cast/

Layoffs at Proctor and Gamble 2012 ?

Retrieved by Pat Darnell | Jan 22, 2012 | Bryan TX

Rumor has it that the Proctor and Gamble is laying off from 2,000 to 20,000 workers. Chilling to consider; what is the fallout? We shall see as it develops. Here below is a testament of one of the victims.

[P and G LOGO LINK]

Layoffs in 2010 at Proctor and Gamble catch officials off guard: "“pursuant to organizational and operational changes.” (Denise G. Callahan, Staff Writer March 24, 2010)"

'via Blog this'

Layoffs 2012 are apparently catching workers off Guard

EXCERPT  |  [Testimony]  " ... While a being a dedicated P and G Rm (as we were not supposed to work for other companies-or our competition) I know many P and G Rm's that also worked for other companies. Some received same pay, some would be in the stores doing P and G workorders and also 3rd party work-for P and G- and getting paid $2.00 more than what P and G Rm's got paid. And don't be surprised if you go to one of the companies suggested and you have an ex-P and G Rm for you supervisior.
P and G did not want to pay any benefits, that's why they kept us down to a certain yearly hours we could work. They had alot of work all these years, 3rd partied out P and G work because we had to stay under the yearly hours so they didn't have to pay benefits.
I am also a stockholder. The stockholder's they are concerned with are corporate not the little working people like the aveage Joe or their peon's, grunt workers, P and G little Rm's. The Rm's that have store and customer contact.
Corporate can sell to the stores, but it's the Rm's that get the product sold to the customer so the stores will order more P and G product. Otherwise as corporate sells product to stores and it sits on shelf and does not sell, stores will not order more of a product that does not sell.
How funny it is that we the grunt workers held P and G higher in standards than they show for their employees.

In all, I have met many good, hard working people and made many friendships.

I do not know what I will decided to do after all this is over with, as I have become acustom
to eating and paying bills. I will have to work at some point.

A House (including P and G Corporate House) is only as good as it's foundation (Rm's)
Once you start chipping away at the foundation, the house will start to fall.

Even though we are all shocked and surprised (which is a normal reaction after being slapped in the face) I wish all Rm's well and much, much success.  (Today, 09:58 AM. by Anonymous. Re: Layoffs in 2012? LINK) ... "

________________________Reference
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/showthread.php?p=4220325#post4220325
http://www.atlanteanconspiracy.com/2011/11/thrive-111111-propaganda.html

*

*

*

Faithful and Steadfast -- FAST

Get your walkin' shoes on. Men all over the Greater Houston area are sick and tired of evil taking the minds and souls of brothers and fathers. FAST is dedicating its spiritual and mental resources to physically stepping up and stepping out in this year of New Beginnings, 2008 "We're gonna march from out to in," says one who is breathlessly waiting for others to get the message.

Those receiving these messages would like to sprint right now to converge, and concur at the minds of their fellow men. Those with the testimony are anxious to tell us others: "We are not going to tolerate evil in our lives anymore. We will march into Houston, faithful and steadfast, from all outlying counties," says one lone man who has taken the cause to the very heart and lungs of his being.

More later.... as more news comes available!!!1 I don't need too much more to understand the mysterious work of Christ in the world. I was eyewitness in the '60's to the revival in Houston, and saved right then and there at ten years old. Since then I have always understood that the Holy Spirit uses midnight rambles to host the body of Christ, and in the murkiest places the wind of revivial blows a gale. I say men put on your walkin' shoes and start with your good foot.>pd