MooPig Report from the Middle :: "Dr. Neil Clark Warren"

Who Would Win this Cage Match?
Merged concepts by Pat Darnell  |  Feb 16, 2014  |  Bryan TX

[Picture LINK]

Dr. Neil Clark Warren

-- versus --

Humanity

Whether you know it or not, there was a once upon a time where I was a pretty good alcoholic. Actually I wasn't pretty good, I was great. Every time I went out I got the high score. No one scored higher. Between amount consumed, bad decisions made, and people pissed off, I championed more than most. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, right?

I was living in Marthasville, Missouri at one of my peak times. It is the Wine Country of Missouri, go figure. I was scoring left and right at the "Drink till you Drop Wine Tasting Vineyards." I recently escaped from a particularly messy marriage, meaning I was a mess, and made a few key decisions.

Firstly, I was never going to get married again. That was obviously for chumps, much like college, right, Natan? Shut up, conscience! Secondly, I needed a gnarly beard to help scare off any potential chicks that wanted a piece of me.

I'm up late one night drinking who the heck knows what, when I decided that I was lonely. Time for a little female companionship. Where would I meet someone though? I'm an unemployed loser who lives in a friend's house. I wake up hungover at 3 PM everyday just about time my friends get off work so I can get my drink on.

In between "Clonus" and "Ankle Biters," a great horror movie about vampiric dwarfs, I saw a commercial for eHarmony. They touted that they had set up thousands of happy couples. "I've never been so happy," says some neatly dressed overweight nerd with a supermodel on his arm.

I slowly make my blurry way to the computer and slump into the chair. eHarmony.com pops up and tells me that I'll have "thousands of results in just a few minutes!"

"Sheesh! Thousands? All I need is one!" I think. I begin the process of inputting my information. This website asks me about every single aspect of my life from childhood to my religious views. Even though I'm at a particularly sarcastic point in my life, I decide it's time for me to take this thing seriously. So I answer as well as I can -- even taking time to really think about my answers between drinks. Two hours later, I'm finished; I take a deep breath and "submit".

What seems like hours tick by as I wait for my results. "Come on, " I'm thinking. "I don't need all 10,000 at once, just a couple hotties to chat up."

No results. None. Zero, eharmony comes back and informs that I am "un-match-able." Somehow in their internet database of hundreds of thousands of women with varying interests and feelings, I cannot be matched with any of them. I knew that I was a difficult dude but the idea that no one on the internet would want a guy like me had never passed through my mind.

Needless to say, I don't remember much of the rest of the night.

I should reiterate that I have since made changes in my life and don't feel quite the same way. In fact, I'm certain that is a direct result of my poor decisions that things kept working out for me the way they did. I'm hopeful that someone will marry me regardless of what eHarmony thinks. Just remember when you are trapped in a tunnel, watch where the rats go, they know the way out.

_____________________1 comment:

by Alex
Quite the beard and quite the post, Natan. Also, I don't know when the last time was that I checked to make sure there is no permanent brain damage resulting from my propelling your noggin into the space between the car door and frame that one time in Helena (where I learned to never listen to anything Brig Heaps said ever again). Based on this post, you are able to write a coherent, humorous blog. I am relieved.

That's our Report from the Middle at Lake Abandon, Texas, where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and children are all above average.

_____________________Reference
http://squidlife.blogspot.com/2010/12/dr-neil-clark-warren-or-how-i-learned.html
http://www.catsandbeer.com/television/hey-hollywood-how-about-some-more-christina-applegate-sitcoms
http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/about/podcast/

A shout out to Garrison Keillor's sign-off adapted to our shares with listeners the latest news and views from the little town where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average."

Well, Folks, MooPig Wisdom is DOOMED: " Potential for ABUSE"

"Repression works only to strengthen and knit the repressed." -- J. Steinbeck
Retrieved by Pat Darnell | Oct 30, 2011 | Bryan TX

No matter how hard one works at citing sources and giving credit where credit is due, 68% of MooPig Enterprise Online can be deemed pirated materials. Well, it has been nice knowing you all here in La La Land.

[LINK to HR3261]

Daily Kos: The Bill that Could End All of the Occupy Protests:

[...]

A BILL

To promote prosperity, creativity, entrepreneurship, and innovation by combating the theft of U.S. property, and

for other purposes.

[...]

'via Blog this'

" ... Today everyone is paying close attention to the attempts to have videos documenting police brutality removed from You-Tube. There is a much greater threat looming. HR3261 Allows the U.S. Government to serve any internet provider with a court order to remove what they deem is copyrighted material or be shut down within five days. Under the guise of stopping piracy, any site can be shut down indefinitely. It is important to respect the rights of artists and make sure they are compensated for their creative endeavors. That said, shutting down a site with millions of pieces of content based upon on person choosing to violate copyright laws is more than heavy handed.
When any person, even law enforcement can upload any content to a site it is inevitable that the potential for abuse guarantees abuse. (credstone. THU OCT 27, 2011)... "

[Read Entire Article HERE]

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 COMMENT:

" ... This bill is bullshit from jump. (80+ / 0-)
Throughout our history, the government has given creators systems (Copyright Office, PTO) to register their claims to intellectual property. It is the responsibility of the creator to decide how to deal with people who abridge his or her claim. This is always done through the civil courts, almost always at the state level, with federal backup if needed.

Never has the federal government attempted direct, extra-legal enforcement of intellectual property claims, and for good reason: that's not its job.

I'm far from being a Tenther, but challenge to this bill, if enacted, falls squarely and sweetly under the Tenth Amendment, even more than the First.

This bill is pure crap, and I'll be the people introducing it know it, too.

Corporations are people, my friend Yeah, well, so's Soylent Green, so I don't find that very comforting... (by Crashing Vor on Thu Oct 27, 2011 at 09:40:55 AM PDT) ..."

________Reference

http://www.scribd.com/doc/70435014/Stop-Online-Piracy-Act-House-Version-of-PROTECT-IP-Act-112-H-R-3261

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/10/27/1030616/-The-Bill-that-Could-End-All-of-the-Occupy-Protests-
http://www.scribd.com/doc/70590750/112-hr-3261

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Tea Party Grows a Whisker

EXCERPT  |  " ... Successful and hard working Americans are being forced to pay through the nose for the mistakes of others and for a massive new social agenda that is antithetical to America's work ethic. The party in power is no longer representing the interests of the individuals and small businesses who make this country successful. ... "

The Protest: Make Your Voice Heard

" ... Right now, a growing number of "Tea Party" protests are taking place throughout America. However as a hard-working individual, professional or small-business person you may find it impossible to join the protests in person. You can still make your voice heard however, with one simple action. ... (LINK) "

Click the LINK to Read the Entire Article ...

Funeral Surreal ?!

Protest at a Funeral: isn't that bit ... Queer?
by Pat Darnell

Today, October 6, 2010, we are asked, as a people, to make up our minds about freedom of speech, as it will be arbitrated by our Supreme Judge arbiters. Blimey!! Not again: you say. We hear you.

Well, yes, it is another era of protesting -- sometimes called 'Civil Disobedience' -- and it is being done by some folks this time who are of the Baptist persuasion. Let's see if MooPig Tale of the Tape Department can sort this out a bit.

Weighing in on the one hand is the father of a slain Marine, who wanted to peacefully lay his son's body to rest as is the custom in the United States. His name is Albert Snyder and his son is " ...his only son, Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder, who died in Iraq’s Anbar Province in 2006."

Mr Snyder has tested the First Amendment of the US Constitution, and sued the protesters for $10.9 million and won. But his favorable judgment was over turned  in an appeal at the "federal appeals court in Richmond, Virginia."

"... [V]erdict against the pastor, Fred W. Phelps Sr., and his church, for intentional infliction of emotional distress, which required proof of outrageous conduct, and for invasion of privacy. But a federal appeals court overturned the verdict on First Amendment grounds.

On the other end of this argument is the ... " ... lawyer on the other side, Margie J. Phelps, [who] said the First Amendment protected the protest, where seven pickets at some distance from the [Snyders'] funeral carried signs with messages like “Thank God for dead soldiers” and “God hates you.”

Here is an interesting fact pointed out by the NYTimes: " ... Ms. Phelps is a daughter of the pastor of the church, Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan. Her argument alternated between smooth exposition of First Amendment doctrine and support for the church’s message. [SOURCE] ..."

"We want to give the rancorous protesting Baptist Minister some street credit for having his daughter grow up to be a lawyer and to be able to represent him in the Supreme Court," said Mel B. Toast, MooPig's Tale of the Tape Editor.

From the ensuing think tank of MooPig's Tale of the Tape iron man round table this is the bullet check list that has evolved:

• What happened in that other small church Koran burning thingy?
• Protesting at a funeral seems like a moot point; I mean the guy is dead, after all 
• Who was supposed to go get the sandwiches at Mo's on Ohio St?
• [Suddenly, a lot of coins were passed amongst our think tank guys and gals as they settled up on their fantasy football clutches ...]
• Eventually, someone brought up: " ...Abigail Phelps, another of Mr. Phelps’s daughters, carried a sign that said “America is doomed.”
• a fight broke out when Slim Jim quoted the plaintiff's lawyer: "Mr. Summers said private grief raised different issues. ... "
• “Why aren’t the members of the families of the deceased a captive audience at the funeral?” Alito asked.
• Everyone looked dumbfounded as they pondered: "Who the devil is Alito?"

As the afternoon melted away into the cool of the evening, we heard many of the old standards being tossed about. Hustler versus Reverend Jerry Falwell was one of the token case comparisons, but that is moot too.

"Reverend Jerry Falwell, was a Christian evangelical fundamentalist Baptist pastor, televangelist, and a conservative ... died of natural causes in 2007. Eh?" said Dean Rucker, resident Brahman Priest at MooPig Enterprises. "I cannot see where that old case has anything to add, since the Reverend is passed on after a long rewarding life: unlike our Marine who was killed in a war in the prime of his youth. Seems rather poor taste, and kind of queer."

Then we heard some snapple crackle popping " ...as the Supreme Court grappled with the limits of the Constitution’s free-speech guarantee, debating whether it protects protesters who go to military funerals to proclaim that God is punishing the country by killing soldiers.; ..." Then we got some real poop on the defendants:

Fred W. Phelps Sr., is the head of the 70-member Westboro Baptist Church, a congregation made up mostly of his relatives. Phelps and his followers have traveled to hundreds of military funerals to proclaim that God is angry over the country’s acceptance of homosexuality, bearing signs that say, “Thank God for Dead Soldiers,” “Pope in hell,” “God Hates the USA” and “Fag troops.” [SOURCE]

Tale of the Tape

SNYDER VS PHELPS Supreme Court Case # 09-751

SNYDER: Among those backing Snyder are 42 U.S. senators, led by Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada and Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.

PHELPS: The American Civil Liberties Union and 21 news organizations including Bloomberg LP, the parent of Bloomberg News, are urging rejection of the award.

PHELPS: The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press including The New York Times Company, filed a brief supporting the Kansas church. It said the First Amendment protects even hateful speech on matters of public concern.

SNYDER: -- [Snyder's reward was reduced and then overturned on appeal, with a decision upholding the Westboro group's right to free speech. Additionally, a 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals judge last week ordered Snyder to pay $16,510.80 of the Westboro Baptist Church's almost $100,000 in legal fees.] --

Bill O'Reilly  |  April\2006  | "I will pay Mr. Snyder's obligation. I'm not going to let this injustice stand," O'Reilly said Wednesday on his show, "The O'Reilly Factor." "It's obvious those cranks at Westboro were intentionally trying to hurt Mr. Snyder and his family."

So, with Bill O'Reilly in your corner, Mr Snyder, take our unfettered congratulations before you even enter the ring. MooPig has a good feeling that this case will end in your favor. Thank you very musssh!

Play: "How are these Three Things Connected?"

ONE --
November 2008 Change means Coin: Silver and Gold Coin


See: also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjglR2KYz5o


TWO --
The Land-for-Peace delusion never seems to die, no matter how often it is made clear that jihadists will take advantage of any concession by Israel to strengthen their position further, and that they will continue to press on until Israel as a whole is obliterated. As the Hamas Charter says, quoting Muslim Brotherhood founder Hasan Al-Banna: "Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it." [ ... ]

In 1987, the Arabs living in the territories occupied by Israeli in the 6-Day war began a series of riots and violent confrontations now known as the First Intifada, a movement quite independent from PLO leadership. Soon after, Islamic militants founded the Hamas movement.

The Hamas was formed from the Mujama movement, which had been a political party with no military ambitions that was given some encouragement by Israel earlier in the decade, as a means of countering the influence of the PLO, and perhaps because the opposition of the Mujama to an international conference that would adjudicate the problem of Palestine, coincided with the policies of the Begin and Shamir governments.

Hamas name
Hamas is an acronym of Harakat al Mawqawama al Islamiyya meaning "Islamic Resistance Movement." The word Hamas also means "zeal." The H in Hamas is an Arabic 'Het and it is sounded as a pharyngeal fricative, a sound made deep in the throat like the 'Het in "Shalom 'Haver" made famous by President Bill Clinton. The "a"s in Hamas are pronounced approximately like the "a" in "cat." In Hebrew, the a's are pronounced as "ah."

Hamas capsule history
The Hamas has a 'military' wing, Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades, that engages in terrorist acts and a 'civilian' wing that supposedly confines itself to education and 'good works.' Hamas perpetrated numerous suicide bombings and other terrorist attacks, at first in order to sabotage the Oslo Accords and peace process, and then as part of the Second Intifada. Israel successively assassinated its leaders, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin and Sheikh Ahmed Rantissi, forcing the leadership underground. However, in January of 2006, candidates representing the Hamas swept to victory in Palestinian elections, overcoming the traditional leadership of the Fateh and PLO. In June of 2006, Hamas affiliates captured an Israeli soldier by tunneling across the border between Gaza and Israel In February of 2007, Hamas, Fateh and other factions entered a unity government in a deal brokered by Saudi Arabia and Egypt. However, in practice, Hamas ruled Gaza on its own. It formed the Executive Force over the protests of the Fatah and Palestinian Authority. The Executive force was a combination internal police force, political force to be used against Hamas opponents and terrorist group. In June of 2007, Hamas ousted Fatah forces from Gaza in a bloody coup, throwing Fatah members off the roofs of buildings after shooting them in the knees. At least one Fatah member was sliced into steaks that were sent to his family. Since Gaza had been totally evacuated by Israel in the unilateral disengagement of 2005, Hamas currently (2009) rules Gaza as a de facto state government. It has used Gaza as a base for launching rocket attacks against Israel. On June 19, 2008, Israel and Hamas concluded a "lull" or Tahdiya agreement that was brokered by Egypt. Hamas, but not Israel, declared that this truce was for a period of six months. Rocket fire from Gaza was reduced but not stopped. Hamas greatly stepped up smuggling of arms through tunnels beneath the Egyptian controlled Rafah crossing. Hamas dismissed the international monitors that were to have controlled the Rafah crossing, and then declared that Gaza is "under siege." Israel retaliated for rocket fire by closing the Israeli crossings periodically. On December 18, 2008, Hamas declared that they would not renew the truce. Thereafter, Hamas and associated organizations directed a rain of rocket and mortar fire at Israeli towns and cities, reaching as far as 45 KM away with Grad rockets that had been smuggled in during the lull period. On December 26, 2008, Israel launched operation Cast Lead, attacking the Hamas in Gaza at first by air and later in a limited ground invasion. [ ... ]

THREE --
Phish Helps Fight The War On Drugs
I’m sure you heard about the big Phish comeback/reunion set of three shows in Hampton, Virginia over the weekend. Seems like most thought the shows were a big success. But, not everyone. From Billboard…

Police said Monday they confiscated about $1.2 million in illegal drugs and more than $68,000 in cash from concertgoers. Authorities also arrested 194 Phish fans during the three-night celebration of the band’s return to the stage after a nearly five-year absence.

Most of the arrests were for drug possession, use and distribution, police said... [ ... ]


A) Counter sabotage tactics have grown out of this conflict in forms of:

• tightening the money supply
• creating a perception that gold over-rides paper
• you can dress up; but you can't go out

B) The extermination of 9 million Jews never really happened

C) This is some sad shit

D) Re-inventing the French Revolution

E) Demanding accountability from FreeMasons, and Zionists

iTouch PHelps

Here's the reportage:

BEIJING -- It has been confirmed that Serbia filed an official protest over the finish in the 100-meter butterfly, won by one-hundredth of a second by Michael Phelps over Milo Cavic. After reviewing the slow-motion tape, the Serbians still weren't sure that Phelps had won, but they acknowledged that it would be futile to continue to argue.

"It was very clear that the Serbia swimmer touched second after Michael Phelps,'' a Kenyan referee, Ben Ekumbo, for the international swimming federation (FINA) said. "One was stroking and one was gliding.''

Protest denied: Serbians admit defeat to Michael Phelps 9:55 PM, August 15, 2008

Said Branislav Jevtic, the head of Serbia's delegation: "They [FINA referees] examined the video and I think the case is closed. The video says [Phelps] finished first. In my opinion, it's not right. But we must follow the rules. Everybody saw what happened.''

USA Swimming spokesman Jamie Olson said the tape was slowed to one frame every 10-thousandth of a second just to make sure which swimmer touched first.

Cavic, who was born in Anaheim, raised in Tustin and swam for UC Berkeley, said: "I'm stoked with what happened. I don't want to fight this. People will be bringing it up for years and saying you won that race. If we got to do this again, I would win.''

Cavic acknowledged that the extra half stroke Phelps took at the end was the difference. It was a gamble, but it paid off. Cavic glided to the wall.

"It's kind of hard to see,'' he said. "I know I had a long finish and Michael Phelps had a short finish.''

___________________________________
MooPig's Open Up a Can Of Worms Department -- has this to offer the foregoing.

"If we have hundredths for rules, then, iTouch is da' finisher!"

Gambling on a thousandths of a second is the one in a thousand gamble, no first touch , no gold piece. Simple and clear? Okay.

Later asked what Milo Cavic was listening to on his iPod and earbuds: "Oh, its a new song by Lil Kim called, 'One was stroking and one was gliding...' Serbian swimmer Milo Cavic said; "Real good dance tune...!"