How can I Safely and Effectively....
Designs needed: HWJD
In contrast to forgiveness, and long-suffering; in context of soulful vengence -- how can I safely and effectively tell the tail-gating SOB behind me to back-off; that he should watch his interval?This is the timeliest question of the day. We somehow
introduced the question in MTC #9, but alas watching one's six is becoming a preoccupation for many drivers. If a tailgating driver should hit the rear of your car, several issues override any other consequences:- Whiplash
- Liability Insurance
- Photographic evidence of the collision
Stressing a mode of operation
that prevents the situation, well that is the best answer.
Here are some of my unproven/untried impediment fantasies:
- Drop wheel shredding tacks out my rear bumper
- Rocket launchers
- WWI Bi-plane type machine guns pointing to the rear
- sudden release of used axle gear grease
- tractor beam Star Trek
style
- air bags out the tail lights, in a split second inflation
- Electromagnetic shock wave, stunning the rear cars computer
- voice over FM wave into the cars GPS or radio "You are following too close. Back off three car lengths."
- drop a carcass of a large big dead animal out of a back compartment in the path of the one who follows to close, or skunk odor, or paper mill scent of canal #5
- smoke, or controlled substance dust into their A/C intake
- Bee swarm
- Robotics; 'Danger Will Robinson'
- ventriloquism
- hypnosis
- show home movies from a trunk mounted screen
- Potter wand tricks
- flame, meteor strike, brimstone, rising water, hail, lightning, plague
- baseballs
- start washing their windshields for them..
- Euthanasia
That's the drift of the commuter tail gating rag. I think we need to put this to discussion: "How would Jesus Drive?" Take it away MP'er Wisdom buskin Engineers.
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In contrast to forgiveness, and long-suffering; in context of soulful vengence -- how can I safely and effectively tell the tail-gating SOB behind me to back-off; that he should watch his interval?
introduced the question in MTC #9, but alas watching one's six is becoming a preoccupation for many drivers. If a tailgating driver should hit the rear of your car, several issues override any other consequences:
that prevents the situation, well that is the best answer.
Here are some of my unproven/untried impediment fantasies:
5 comments:
"How would Jesus Drive?" A: Fast.
Where/What would Jesus drive? A: Babylon By Bus ("Jamaicans have a marvelously vivid word–blueswee–to describe those who are wily and hard to pin down: i.e., the Bob Marleys of the world.") http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/bobmarley/albums/album/301860/review/6067604/babylon_by_bus
"What Would Jesus Do?" (WWJD) is a question that almost everyone is familiar with. Chances are you've seen this catchy phrase strung on lanyards, on a co-worker's coffee mug, on the bumper of the car in front of you, or even on "Bill Board's Top 200" chart (WWJD Album). How did these four letters become so popular, sparking a cultural revolution of sorts in the youth of America? Is this merely a fad spun by cunning retailers to sell "Christian paraphernalia," or does this question really have significance for the way we should live our lives?
http://www.allaboutfollowingjesus.org/what-would-jesus-do.htm
Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Help yourself, brother.
Help yourself, Gentlemen.
Help yourself Reverend.
Too true, too true. Physician heal thyself; ill-behaved tailgating pubescent heel!!
How I would love to be on that bus ride... but Ticketron has already sold out.
WDM -- Who Da Man ?
you/pd/mpw
Thanks for dropping in, JP, all good links for the soul!
I want to, oh really bad, but somehow I just can't see Jesus dropping the carcass of a big dead animal out the back of his car - then screaming a victorious "Yes-s-s-s!" as the tailgater craps in his pants and barrel rolls off the road into a ravine... unless, possibly, it was the 491st time the guy had tailgated him. Yes, that would work for me in that case. So yes, I'll go with the animal carcass choice for sure.
CMPSTHLSTY
That's one vote for animal carcass out the trunk, while Jesus is sidetracked with other business. Got it!
That knock-knock knocking on the trunk of the car is Jesus:
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me."
http://www.allaboutfollowingjesus.org/
what-would-jesus-do.htm
Wow, you found the body of Christ... that's one vote for Corpus Christi...!!!
I think I am going to go with "Potter wand tricks..." no?
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