Bourgeoisie Upper class Ruling class Nobility White-collar Petite bourgeoisie Upper middle class Creative class Gentry Blue-collar Proletariat Middle class Working class Nouveau riche/Parvenu Pink-collar Lumpenproletariat Lower middle class Lower class Old Money Gold-collar Peasant/Serf Slave class Underclass Classlessness... - Mistress of Ceremonies TBA: Could be the Older version of the lady pictured above
- If you are not assimilated by then, you will be, so get your Moink On!!!
- It will prove to be a Grandiose Affair with Sleds and Bells
- and, Always read the Fine Print!! Hear ye, Hear ye this Public Announcement
Funding to be Provided in receipt of its Rebate from Microsoft; pending litigations filed in the spirit of conjecture for compensations provided for in the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation from 1994 - 2045, blah 'd blah 'd blah 'd
"Yeah, we decided to just give it all back.. of course we kept the interest," might have said Melinda Gates in a most likely pre-re-opening meeting over some future weekend. So goes the saga of twenty-first century King Solomon, Bill Gates, and his mag-significant other, Melinda.
It's 2008, January and Fortune Magazine is reporting from the mansion just above the Gates Way to MSN copper mines of Legend. Somewhere in Washingtoniana...
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation had assets of $37.6 billion at end of 2007. Bill Gates just said his usual: "'Yes, we're a couple that has fun discussing fertilizer while we walk on the beach,' Bill says proudly. 'Melinda is more scientific and reads more than 99% of the people you'll ever meet,' he says" (Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56).
The cryptic couple apparently reviews annually around 6000 grant requests together in their chairman's office at Microsoft. The Gates Criteria for turning on a flow meter of cash to a worthy cause? "...Early on she and Bill agreed to focus on a few areas of giving, choosing where to place their money by asking two questions:
- 'Which problems affect the most people?
- 'And which have been neglected in the past?'" (pg 47-48)
[this is where natural snooping and curio put moopig on the $-scent for a grand-re-opening]
- MooPig is ambiguously problematic for at least thousands, and
- MooPig has been neglected for all of its life, past and future!
FORTUNE's Philanthropy section states: "Bill surprised Melinda on New Years Day, 1994 by arranging for Willie Nelson to perform just for them at their marriage that day." Then apparently they proceded to just-right-size their bridal house. It is reported 40,000 square feet of newlywed horror, back then: "It was a bachelor's dream and a bride's nightmare. So the bride took control and performed nu'veau riche surgery, 'If I do move in ...it's going to be like I want it to be,' said she [Melinda]" (Housing Crisis, Pg 56, paraphrased).
Melinda and Bill have a philanthropy jones: "I'm in wholesale. I'm not retail," says Bill. (pg 56) While Melinda says "A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing," per Warren Buffet's philosophy. This translates into "giving 95% of their fortune away within their lifetimes," says Fortune. [See also: Warren Buffet's bequest in same article, pg 54]
MooPig, sitting right here, says "Huh?"
"'My fatal flaw?' Melinda says laughing during [FORTUNE's] third and final interview. She sometimes wishes for a simpler life" (pg 56). We the editors at MooPig speculate she wants the simpler life 5% of the time, and goes for the Queen of Philanthropy 95% of the time. [See Also: Ima Hogg, Hogg Philanthropy]
I submit locked in this story is the Hilton Syndrome that follows nouveau riche throughout history. Poor Bill and Melinda. And what about their children? Can Melinda plan for the ensuing spouses of her children? Will her daughters all marry one-legged veterans of foreign wars, in support of the cause? MooPig asks the hard questions. Will Melinda's sons pay dowries to have and husband Bush-women from the Kalahari? Lord help them all. [See also: Hiltons giveaway +- 95% of Paris's inheritance; must be a trend]
So how does this interview end? "She [Melinda] was giving herself a pep talk. 'I told myself , 
"But I do know enough."' She [had] completed her goal for the day: calling for the eradication of one of the worst diseases the world has ever known [malaria]. Tomorrow another goal. Maybe it will be even bigger."
[Weee--doggie, Jethro, start up the motorized buggy ..I swear that is the final words of the article] (pg 56).
Even though all is fair in war and philanthropy, and even though I could not be having this orgy of opinionated moink pig latin in here via the Internet without Microsoft, and even though metaphor is mightier than the pen is... I think Melinda's fatal flaw is "Brown pant suits," and the worst disease in our world is "nouveau riche philanthropy, along with the first signs of incontinence."
"'Bill is an awkward guy,' says Warren Buffet, a close friend of the couple. 'He's lopsided, but less lopsided since he's with Melinda.'" (pg 54)
Resistance is futile. >pd/final draft2
References
Sellers, Patricia. January 21, 2008, FORTUNE: Melinda gates goes public. pg 44-56
Whaley, Arthur L. 2006. Sage Foundation: An Objective Rating Form to Evaluate Grant Proposals to the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health, Abstract: vol 30 # 6, retrieved from http://erx.sagepub.com/cgi/content/refs/30/6/803 .
©Frank, Robert L . June 24, 2007; Sunday Times, Bookfirst, Paris Hilton syndrome and how to avoid it. The one problem the super-rich can’t solve with money? What to do with their messed up kids, Extracted from Richistan by Robert L Frank to be published by Piatkus Books on July 2; retireve from: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/~/article1976765.ece.
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