by Pat Darnell
At age eight, I think, is when I suddenly became aware of a great American Pastime: Bosom Watch! Yes, my older brother and sister both had permanent head twist from uncontrolled head spin to see every girl in a bikini, or dude with his pecs on display during Spring Breaks 1963.
I first learned the word bosom from a song we sang in the 50's -- "Rock my Soul in the Bosom of Abraham," that I said like "bo'som with a short 'o'," and got lots of unwanted laughs. Then I learned the real pronunciation, and the rest is my story.
Men and women give play to Bosom Watch!... because the strategy is to find the largest bosom on a female and make that female the most talked about.
Women looking for Mister Pectoralis are more slippery and do their speculations on the downlow. Pretty much the same thing though -- big hands, bigger downlow... etc.We had buttons for St Patrick's Day that said: "Official Falsie Inspector" and "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" and this seemed to confuse lots of boys my age, since we had no idea what falsies meant.
This is nothing you never heard before: in context of Bosom, the field has been leveled though. We now have to look closely to tell whether the bosom is "Real or Not."
Largest is no longer the issue, or is it?
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