MooPig Family Planning Department has used this youTube video to explain how it is experimenting with helmet cams for sperm cells. "With any luck we can have all the impact, frenzy and adrenaline surges, while no sperm, egg, or deer, is harmed," said Herman Rothbein, PhD, Chief Head Surgeon in General.
We certainly wish him well. It seems Dr Rothbein is attempting to put nano helmets on sperms to record their journeys to their big bang collisions with the eggs. "Thus far the biggest problem has been lighting," explains Dr Rothbein. "At present all our results look something like Rothko paintings."
"We intend to record and divulge our research to the world, just as soon as we correctly filter our data so it is understandable. We plan to have our reproduction problems solved very soon," says Helen Waite, intern assisting Dr Rothbein.
Dr Rothbein was a deputy assistant associate agent to the IRS Department of fetal resources until he received his PHD, and qualified also for a grant to follow up on the mechanics of sperm ejaculation for what he says is a future taxable base for American Government to legislate. "It is the only way law makers will ever be able to keep up with the water slide of life in internet tech that has left them [legislators] so far behind," says Dr Rothbein, "and it must begin with the Federal Government."
"If it [conception] can be calculated and documented with high speed film from impact, it can be taxed," explained Dr Rothbein. "Just like the fellow in the youTube: a question comes to mind -- did he purchase a federally insured State Hunting Stamp for this deer... ? Questions like these need answers.. right?"
"Please don't start throwing tea bags at me... this is also a data that will be used to provide tax
credits for non-gender-specific married couples, and that includes adoptions, retail health-care product purchase, and human fertility supply chains nationwide," assures Dr Rothbein; "as couples apply family planning to their choices in fertility. We will have determined the instant of conception, and new depreciation tables can be calculated with new actuary charts of life expectancy."Heavy stuff there Doc, and we salute your tenacity to plan for the future. We are naming you "Family Plan Man of the Year."
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