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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Congratulations if you have lived this long and not seen M.A.D.'s


Magnetic Audio Device, M.A.D.
by Pat Darnell

Yes we are diligent bloggers, constantly falling back on the stability of "Search."

And Yea, though we go into the Valley of the Shadow of Death, we fear no evil, because what ever it is we can Google that Mo****rF***in' noodle monster into bits and pieces with a Gang Google attack, until it is fully Wikki'ed. Amen.

Ooops, Happy Mother's Dad, Mom. You know I love you. But M.A.D. just crossed my plate at the table of boarders who blog.. and guess what... it moves sound waves in a parallel path away from the source of sound, unlike round horn shaped speakers that actually send waves out in a conical spray, only to dissipate quickly [exponentially].

Yes, it is a military weapon "of the future." If you have heard one, you were in or near a crime or war zone. So it is good you have lived this long and not seen a M.A.D. If you had you would have heard a voice at more than 600 yards sounding like the person is right next to you. Or you might have heard a canine unit closing in on you to bite and pull your limbs in opposite directions... then again you might get a decibel blast that drops you to your knees. This is likely the Foghorn Leghorn of weapons in the arsenal of new "user-friendly," "non-lethal" arms against perpetrators.

Of course, you may also recognize the potential of this magnetic audio device as an amplifier for Rock bands. Since the band would like the audience to be terrorized, traumatized and to drop to their knees in worshipful posture.. well Heck Yeah!

Retrieving M.A.D., in concerts... Potential Plowshare: The 'Magnetic Audio Device:'
A high-powered Magnetic Audio Device that was designed as a non-lethal weapon might have music-related uses, after a demonstration revealed that the music of Queen and Frank Sinatra sounded decent at distances of up to one mile away.

Here’s the science. Light diffuses and grows weaker over distance because it’s not all of the same wavelength. Lasers, on the other hand, don’t diffuse, because their light has the same wavelength. Planar waves are the sonic equivalent of lasers: sound waves of identical frequency emanating from a flat panel.

In the article linked above, Here, "...non-lethal weapons expert Charles Heal describes the device’s sound quality to the New Yorker’s Alec Wilkinson..."
"So we picked a date, and I brought a sixty-thousand-watt generator. We took a GPS and measured a mile, and I listened to a Frank Sinatra record and everything was there — the lyrics, the orchestra, the cymbal sound, everything. We couldn’t even see where the sound was coming from anymore. At three-quarters of a mile, we had trusties from the jail raking leaves, and they were putting in music requests.’"

You all know in your hearts that M.A.D will sooner or later be used in advertising to reach us in our great outdoors. And to many, of course, the great outdoors is... John Q Public ...cruising the Interstate, moving along at 70 mph, in his Winnebago.

But, Johnnie Q, you need to be good and ready for the bill-boards that might start talking to you through your windshield. And in the traffic congestion bottlenecks, take your specialized planar wave blocking industrial ear plugs along, just in case --

[ ... ] What you probably might not want to ever hear on a planar sonic wave aimed at you, is the commercial that directs a: "...I have Genital Herpes... YELP" carrying a mile or so into your lines of traffic and beyond.. but we really can't say.
[PD]

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Next Week: L.H.D., Large Helical Devices -- [HERE] Void your warranty, violate a user agreement, fry a circuit, blow a fuse, poke an eye out. Make: The risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things... Welcome to Make: Online! ...

"At this point in your life, you might want to consider yourself 'out of the loop'... just a kind reminder from us who know what that's like." [MooPig]

2 comments:

Bilderbergers In Favor of Abolishing the Dollar, Proliferation of a One World Government and Enslavement of Shit Kickers said...

Aye Matey!

MooPig_Wisdom said...

Hollowed out, and pretzel perfected be thy name, there proliferating One... aye..

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