Report from the Middle: When he says 'Unequivocally' -- that right there means 'You Know What?'

by Pat Darnell
The 2008 inauguration is SOLD OUT. Erstwhile, new Executive Cabinet Members are drawing up their resignation letters. Home buyers can't get any loans. Illinois politics-- who cares? Gaza Strip is going to become a pasture for shepherds and their sheep. Cheney just said that Israel did not call the US about their intentions to send in their ground troops; and of course we all know Cheney lies.

Caroline Kennedy the potential next U.S. senator from New York tells the city's biggest newspaper that their reporters aren't such a crack political team while also inadvertently insulting women's magazines. Yes the very same: "[in] a photo ...a young Caroline with Macaroni in a news article inspired singer-songwriter Neil Diamond to write his hit song "Sweet Caroline," a fact he revealed only when performing it for her 50th birthday in November 2007"... ..."Who is New York Daily News's estimated Kennedy with net worth in 2008 at over US$100 million..." We hope you don't go on vacation like your Uncle Teddy Kennedy did.

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While all those newsworthy event omelets are simmering in pre-inauguration limbo ...[as stories mostly needing defibrillator's]... Here is the story to disinter. There is one Fight or Flee Knee-jerk story from Middle America -- Salt of the Nation...

Bill Richardson has withdrawn his nomination to be commerce secretary.

Richardson, who will remain governor of New Mexico, is facing a federal grand jury investigation into whether he exchanged government contracts for contributions to three Richardson political committees.

Richardson denies any wrongdoing but the investigation won't be finished before he has to go to a Senate confirmation hearing.

"Let me say unequivocally that I and my administration have acted properly in all matters and that this investigation will bear out that fact," Richardson said in a statement. "But I have concluded that the ongoing investigation also would have forced an untenable delay in the confirmation process."

I like Gov Richardson. What I think is he used this typical Washington DC word "Unequivocally" to say to the all those sad bi-Coastals: "You can take this Federal Government hogwash, and keep it. I have it pretty good back home. So good bye-- Don't call me: I'll call you... NOT." *[Oh, yes, anyone want to buy some inauguration tickets?]

That's this week's Report from the Middle, where the women are strong, men are good-looking, children are all above average; our pets are named after the Saints, and the elderly are generally well-behaved.