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Saturday, February 19, 2011

MooPig Movie Reviews: "RED, [2010]"

OBSERVATION: The Aging Hit Man and Woman is fast becoming a main character in films released in 21st century. It sure is true of "R.E.D."
by Pat Darnell

In addition to regular movie particulars, many peer actors are present in R.E.D.

R.E.D. means: "Retired: Extremely Dangerous," it turns out. This troupe of  peer actors is tagged by this reviewer as being tall, well fed, soldier compact, capitalist, plasmid marker 'actor' gene, of man-o-structural, and woman statuesque, exigent heroes.

All for one, and, -- one does not supersede the others ... the question is "Who do you work for?"

You see, everyone is a Hit Man, even the women. This is not a novel characterization; flawed heroes, with spectacular skill sets -- or "kill" sets -- and ability to manipulate personal spaces of all their victims are becoming regular feature artists. And, as usual, wooing of anatomically exaggerated women and men, is a given, even for prime aged actors.

Driven by gnawing needs to kill with efficiency, one wonders why? I suggest as the Hit Man gets older and more practiced he is more efficient because he must grow tired of all the cleaning of blood and crime grime afterwards. Sterilizing the crime scene is expedited through gathered wisdom of rubbing people out.

One grows easy with the laziness of the peril that this theater drama puts the ticket-payer through. It might also be a tribute to one-take scenes due to the aging actor factor again. So be it, much experience makes for another cost saving. This allows adult themed films to remain alive in the movie business's meandering demographics pander.

"What else are we to do with the aging work force?" said MooPig's Movie Reviews Editor, Albert T. Pincus. "Aging hit men and women is perfect theater for them all."

The R.E.D. personnel are as vital as the late Jack LaLanne was up until his demise. But putting them to death seems out of the question. This means there will be a feel good epilogue on movie's final scene, that will simulate Corona Beer Commercials.

But, whoa; is a slower paced, slower burning fuse gun man good for cinema? "Well, my wife loves R.E.D.," said Editor Pincus. "She went out and bought it for keepers."

In R.E.D.'s corner, we at MooPig Movie Reviews think it is all much funnier to watch, therefore a fun flick. Laughing at aside-fill comment, with concentration-centric plot details, and sudden robust elder agents kicking the tar out of three younger ones, is the best parts, usually.

And if you find yourself figuring out the whole story long in advance, it matters less, because it is funny; it is a jocular journey.

Tragically, we all have to one day retire. And most of us have to get out of the businesses that we seem to have lost track of, too. So probably the sage wisdom one departs this movie with is: to "plan" your retirements early on in your career years. Maybe start your planning the day you begin working.

"Who do you work for?" The question in R.E.D is the answer.

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