Moo Pig Wisdom is a brilliant combination of Antiquity and Prequel Modern Flea Market. We respectfully ask you to mind your children while here.

Friday, February 18, 2011

This Just In :: From Field Correspondent Guy Visconti, Chicago, IL

Retrieved from Email, not kidding, by Pat Darnell

Subject: 13 THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your
carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your
yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my
return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there
are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me
wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I
might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to
remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and
foot tracks into the house.. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead
giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm
company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it
too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows
on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your
jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock
your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off
because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or
offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check
dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you
keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system.
If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can
buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of
a real television.

This bit has been a cleverly disguised, MooPig Approved, advertisement for:
Perry Myers, CFE President
U-Spy Enterprises, Inc.
2406 W Fullerton Ave
Chicago, IL 60647
(773) 529-2779 x 200
Chicago - Skokie - Orlando  ::  Better Business Bureau A+ Rated

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