by Pat Darnell
Not my last Fish Story
A guy who lives on Lake Conroe, which is about 50 miles north of downtown Houston, saw a ball bouncing around out in the lake. The object moved kind of strange in the lake, so our guy went to investigate. He rowed out to find a fish attached to a red sphere.
It turns out to be a Flathead Catfish, bottom-sucker corn cob pipe smokin' mudcat, who had tried to suck down a toy basketball. Truth is we don't really know what that crazy cat fish was doing with the toy ball. But, the troubled cat fish appeared exhausted trying to dive; unable to, because the ball always brought it head-first back to the surface.
Our guy tried many times to pull the ball out. He was unsuccessful, until finally he and his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it. That released the big fella'..
By this time a fancy bass boat arrived on the scene. A lady named Sadie was holding a digital video camera with a microphone built in.
When interviewed, the Catfish who prefers to remain anonymous, was asked why "He came up from the bottom to the surface to eat the toy basketball."
"I was in a mood to explore outside of the box," Catfish replied. "You know I'm not getting any younger. It's no secret I'm known as Grandaddy in these parts."
"Oh, so you are the one," said Sadie Hopkins, cub reporter for the Cornrow Times. Sadie is a distant niece of Phelps 'Catfish' Collins.
"You don't look so old. That was quite a suction you had on that ball."
"Well, thank you my dear -- but my eyesight isn't what it were back in 1955. So, I am supposing, I thought 'that toy was the under-belly of some drake who needed to get some barnacles off his feathers,'" said the tired, hungry Granddady Catfish. "By the way, I wanted to thank that masked man for helping me out. Who is he?"
"Why, that is the Lone Angler, Roy Blogers, and his estranged wife, Dale Evans," replied Sadie.
"Why did he shout, 'Dale this will go viral'?" asked Grandaddy.
Mean while Grandaddy Catfish got a little closer to Sadie in her boat. He squinted to read her boat's name: "BOTTOM PREDATOR" just below GUNNULES that had ROD LOCKERS, and WALK AROUNDS, this advertisement -- "Sadie and Davey's Catfish House -- Yes, we got cheese grits ..." Grandaddy, noticed a little bit of spittle forming on Sadie's lips.
"Well, gotta' go," and Grandaddy dove as he never dove before, straight down to his mud cribb. "Wow, I need to get my eyes checked, ... whew."
Oh, you want proof?
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