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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Maher's Lemmings :: "Best of Bill Maher" BONUS -- Best of MooPig Wisdom

Scooped by Pat Darnell  |  Jan 30, 2013  |  Bryan TX

[Picture LINK]

Best of Bill Maher: Political Quotes | Liberals Unite: "“Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at zoos. Mitt Romney once did a photo op at a zoo. That was a big mistake, because he stood next to the chameleon, and HE changed colors.” –Bill Maher

 “Rick Santorum doesn’t like sex. He doesn’t like the pill. He really doesn’t like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.” –Bill Maher

 “Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.” –Bill Maher

 “Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don’t need birth control, you are birth control.” –Bill Maher"

'via Blog this'

BONUS ::  Best of MooPig Wisdom :: Half Wit Quotes --

" ... So, welcome, mister.... uh; Bucket Head, is it? Okay, yes welcome. That pre-Obama KFC slur will go well here in Bush's Town. Prairie View A and M is down the road, if you want to visit there as well; just turn right as Wilson's Chicken." (MooPig Wisdom)

" ... The crowd can be labeled in rows. Let me explain... the front is for those who don't mind close quarter moshing, shoving, sort of the vanguards, or advanced guard of the LGBiTg crowds. The last rows are the skeptics who usually say, "This blows." But in between are the stoics, and Goombahs. These are the ones who will show up when you ask them to go on a hundred mile bike ride this Sunday; or we need one more for the Rugby match on this Saturday. (MooPig Wisdom)

" ... The group consists of band leader Lord Phallus along with bandmates Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith, Braindeath and Loki Sinjuggler and their latest release, Come With Me If You Want To Live (referenced from the mover The Terminator), gives you a pretty good idea of where they are coming from. (HERE. MooPig Wisdom)

" ... It's too bad there were no Economic engineers back when Economics was bubbling up to surface of ponds out from steaming ooze of covet, greed, avarice, and pleonasms that served to liquefy the spirit of humankind over ten thousand years that it has taken to refine our brilliant economic banking structure today. (HERE. MooPig Wisdom)

" ... I can think of no more horrifying news than this: Earth's oceans are polluted. There is not anywhere in the seas that is not without some kind of synthesized poly carbons floating in it. (MooPig Wisdom)

" ... This brief moment in lowered expectation has been brought to you by the Anti-Demographic League of America, and Rudderless Politicians Up a Creek. (HERE)

" ... Subject: mental health
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have, and even with sometimes what they don't have.

Husband and wife, Ralph and Edna, were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save Ralph. She swam to the bottom of the pool, pulled him out, dried him off and nurtured her husband from a terrible episode.

When Head Nurse Director, Sally Forth, became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered Edna to be discharged from the hospital, as the Director now considered Edna to be mentally stable.

When Nurse Forth went to tell Edna the news, she said: "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness !"

"But the bad news is, Ralph hung himself in your bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but your beloved is dead."

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?' (HERE. MooPig Wisdom)


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