Moo Pig Wisdom is a brilliant combination of Antiquity and Prequel Modern Flea Market. We respectfully ask you to mind your children while here.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

You Might be a Victim of Success if:

MooPig Tennis Circuit Sports Department Asks Andre' Agassi, "HUNjH?"
by Pat Darnell and Raquette Wilson

Who said it is all right for 'past prime' entertainers and sports champs to get back in our collective publicized eyes, with memo to their current 'book' of how they are victims? Who's next on retired emo athlete list of mistreated victim billionaires -- Tony Hawk?
"Gee, duh, yeahh, my dad was a total neanderthal," might write Tony Hawk, "Dad used to buy me every accessory for skate boards from all over the world. Geeeeeez, [whimper, snivel]..."
  • Agassi calls his father "violent by nature," and recalls being in the car when his father pointed a handgun at another driver.
  • [SOURCE] [MooPig: at least you guys had a car, Andre', butt head]
  • He [Agassi] writes about making money by hustling people on tennis courts and remembers when, at 9 years old, he beat former NFL great Jim Brown in a match to win a $500 bet for his father.
  • [at least your dad could cover a $500 bet, Andre', ya' knucklehead]
  • He [Agassi] poignantly recalls a telephone conversation with his father after winning Grand Slam title No. 1 at Wimbledon in 1992. Dad's initial reaction? "You had no business losing that fourth set," Agassi writes.
  • [Fourth set, yeah, that's when you lost him the $500, Andre' ya' two-fisted, wrist wrangling, wanker]
  • He [Agassi] writes about using crystal meth "a lot" and in sometimes-positive terms, including reference to "a tidal wave of euphoria that sweeps away every negative thought in my head. I've never felt so alive, so hopeful — and I've never felt such energy."
    "Apart from the buzz of getting high," he says, "I get an undeniable satisfaction from harming myself and shortening my career," he writes. But the physical aftermath is hideous. After two days of being high, of not sleeping, I'm an alien. I have the audacity to wonder why I feel so rotten. I'm an athlete, my body should be able to handle this."
    Agassi says he wrote to the ATP tour to explain the 1997 positive test and that "the central lie of the letter" was that he claimed he accidentally drank from a soda spiked with meth by his assistant "Slim."
Well, now that Meth Problem, that's all about self-abuse, Andre', ya putz. MooPig has three words for you Andre': RETIRE FOR GOOD


Greg Delaney said...

well Agassi is in the book selling business now, so he's gotta do what he can to make 'em fly off the shelf. Pretty soon he'll start naming names to sell the next few books he writes...

MooPig_Wisdom said...

Yes Greg:
It seems like there is a formula to entertainer business; and that includes a book about one's childhood, leading to one's sex life [or lacking, or altered], leading up to drug use and abuse... I wonder when entertainers will get past the Nero model?

I had a gay professor in design school at UofH, he said once: "Haven't we had enough of the lonesome cowboy thing?"

Blog Archive

SUNDAY :: bishop FM 105.9 Auckland


Gary Grainger LIVE BluesShow from Auckland, 6 to 8PM LondonTime .... you listen too.


: It is PROHIBITED by law to use our service or the information it provides to make decisions about consumer credit, employment, insurance, tenant screening, or for any other purpose subject to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, 15 USC 1681 et seq. MooPig Wisdom does not provide consumer reports and is not a consumer reporting agency. The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use this information as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. MooPig Wisdom does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through our website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. So dip your balls in turpentine and get rid of your own fleas before calling me out.

Ask Someone Who Cares -- SUCH AS SUCH MULCH

To report any abusive, obscene, defamatory, racist,
homophobic or threatening comments, or anything that may violate any applicable laws, please click
--ask_someone_who cares -- ASWC to report with pertinent details.

Anyone posting such material will be immediately mesquitte blackened over a very hot pit fire down at C and J's BBQ on Harvey-Elmo-Weedon Road, and permanently removed from all servers, its IP
owner will be locked in a small room with back issues of
The ECONOMIST, and one scratchy re-mix 8-track tape of Steely Dan's first album...
IP addresses might be recorded to aid us in enforcing these conditions, that is if we cared.

A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"

A Fantastically Flawed Script for a Jazz Rock Opera -- "GAZA"
GAZA by Pat Darnell for the Age of Attritionally Challenged

Email MooPigster Customers' Alert
If you receive this post via email, you notice it is mostly 'blank'.
We at MooPig Surmise, that at this point, one either says:
"WOW, I'm off the hook, and don't have to pay any attention to that pesky MooPig STUFF!!"
-- OR --
"Hey, where is it ...?"
The answer is: "IT IS A youTUBE presentation"... and you will now click on the http above to go see this modern miracle of technology.

MooPig Wisdom is Your Life-Line to Parody:
24\7 -- We accept all Calls from Contestants

MPW Unique Value Proposition, UVP
Shards of Evidence ... Opinion and Editorial ... We Blunderbuss indigestible Ersatz of Readers' and Writers' ... Explain Strategies of quasi-firms... and some not so quasi ... 110% Proof
One Only
Advertisement Only One
Publisher of Satire ... Enemy to Bombast ... Very Swank ... More Fun to Write than to Read

MooPig Wisdom is online to provide spring board for writers.
MooPig is the Writers' Writer that encourages voice, content, and style. PD

Bill Gaines said it

Bill Gaines said it
"My staff and contributors create the magazine," declared Gaines. "What I create is the atmosphere."