MooPig Movie Reviews :: Gabriel, [2007]

Rated: R
Runtime: 1 hr 54 mins
Genre: Action/Adventure
Studio: Tiglon/Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Starring: Andy Whitfield, Dwaine Stevenson, Samantha Noble, Erika Heynatz, Michael Piccirilli
Director: Shane Abbess
Review and Retrievals by Pat Darnell  |  Bryan, TX | 04.07.2010

MooPig Synopsis: A true love story that unites Arc Angels Gabriel and Michael in their final moment on Earth.

That is about all, except there is no instance of the ubiquitous line "Gimme the Key" spoken, or pleaded, since these are Arc Angels who slip through cracks; and besides, they are actually the Key itself.

Instead we must agree with the movie's point of view that Gabriel's adventure on Earth as a human form super being is ordered from higher ups; the mission -- "Go to Earth and Return with the Light."

Blazing blue eyed Gabriel goes into action with the same conviction that made Weedeater such a blockbuster company! Pure, clean, grunge-a-matical cinematic's on a low budget.

With the sublimated spirit of a video game, and an attempt at humanizing Arc Angels, Gabriel the Movie rides the edge of personage, providing no more information to enlighten or astound us, and does it with uncharacteristic gangling actors who shoot, stab and kick and hide. Oh, yes, some do drugs too.

Amitiel, who now calls herself Jade -- the main female Arc Angel -- binded on Earth, as Angel-gone-bad -- is played by Samantha Noble who looks as if she just walked off the stage from a Miss Nebraska Beauty Contest. That would be okay except we are to believe this pure Midwest looking nubile is a junkie and prostitute,as if just arrived from playing burlesque in Iowa, before heading down to East St Louis.

Unfortunately, all Gabriel the Movie's undertones of homosexuality, transgenic slur, elective surgery and masochism are lost, and actually become the movie's overtones inelastically displayed by type characters. It turns out the "last thing an Arc Angel remembers is falling."

I know I was tripping over all those pillars of overworked, salty character actors who were standing in Gabriel's way.

Oh, yes if you have a difficulty keeping all the Angel names in your head, try turning on your captions option. I did -- it helped me "face the dawn."

Instead of watching it you could just read the Wikipedia page... or not.