Retrieved verbatim HERE by Pat Darnell and Rosa Parks
Woods Brings out the Tiger in Me
By Will
Tiger Woods’ life is turning upside down as not one but THREE mistresses have been exposed. The New York Daily News, which as the scum of tabloids has the right to judge his obsession with sex, is referring them as his “triple bogey.”My heart goes out to the real victim here — Tiger Woods. Is there anything wrong with him getting some loving on the side?
Media are releasing the inner-most personal communications: his sext messages to his lovers and his desperate call to one of his mistresses warning that his wife may be trying to reach her. He’s been forced to apologize to us, the public, for his transgressions (apology ACCEPTED!)
He’s going to lose endorsement deals now and his cute and innocent blonde wife’s going to take half his shit (after suffering the evils of those damn brunette temptresses). His kids are going to grow up as cutters and druggies now.
And all you care about is your own little life?!?!
As he told one of his honies, married life sucks. It is an oppressive institution. I say the public should expect married people – men and women – to cheat on each other and let it be. Then people will not get hurt when it happens and out actions and impulses will be aligned, causing us much more happiness. Why ruin lives over extramarital sex? Because of this regime of monogamy, now his wife is going to suffer too, needlessly.
If we all just chilled out and let the institution of marriage be a sexually flexible one, we could avoid so many problems. We could name this new magical orgiastic place KABOBtopia. And even the crazy Israel-loving nuts who troll our comments section would be invited.
The one thing I like about all this Woods scandal stuff is that celebrities get to see that their lives of privilege — getting paid exorbitant amounts to do what they love — comes with a price. The public’s voyeurism is the trade-off for their easy lives. And we the pubic get a little more fun for our money. All the money we put into our Nikes comes back in the form of pleasure at public spectacle’s involving mega-stars. (KabobFest.12.02.2009)
Conclusion:
As MooPig's "Attrition Department" has pointed out when presenting the Tiger's Got Wood stories ... "We could never have made this Cycle of Parody up ... never in a hundred years."
We are sad, baleful, wailing. It has really gotten to us, right here -- at the Wall ...
Comments:
programmer craig ~ I think everyone is just laying it on because he's led such a charmed life and people get jealous. They should just leave the guy alone. It's between him and his wife.
Chauncey · ~ Jees, some people just can't say thank you God. I mean if this guy wasn't a super athlete he'be humping one legged gnomes! Or, he'd be a man's man like programmer craig!!
SanaKF 59p · ~ If Kobe could walk away, almost unscratched, from rape allegations ..I think Woods will be fine.
:/// · ~ how is this relevant to anything
who gives a shit.
don't tell me Tiger's Arab...
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