Senior This...

My Little Amigah...
With this in mind, I bought myself a new scooter. I wanted something that was easy on gas and could zip me to the store and about town. This seems to meet my EVERY need.

Remember: Senior Citizens Are Valuable: We are more valuable than any of the younger generations: We have silver in our hair. We have gold in our teeth. We have stones in our kidneys. We have lead in our feet and. We are loaded with natural gas!

These fit so well they should be in the "Cloris Leachman Dictionary of Old Girls with the Walking Farts:"

ADULT: person who stopped growing at both ends and now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

and MY Personal Favorite!!

WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.